


"It's Not About How Much We've Lost, It's About How Much We Have Left."

by samanthaweis221b



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Civil War Team Iron Man, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Parent Tony Stark, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samanthaweis221b/pseuds/samanthaweis221b
Summary: The fake paparazzi smile plastered on his face was almost enough to hurt his cheeks. More cameras flashed, almost blinding if it wasn’t for his sunglasses. Good thing Tony Stark was literally born to be in the spotlight.“Mr. Stark! What will you do when the Rogue Avengers return?”“What do you mean ‘What will I do’?” he laughed, treating the crowd to his trademark smirk. “They are not ‘Rogues’, they are heroes. We're the Avengers! We’re going to work together to keep you safe!”No one saw the red-rimmed, troubled brown eyes embedded in dark circles, as expensive sunglasses hid them from the world. He was grateful no one could read his mind. Because his honest answer to the first question was “I have absolutely no idea.”* * * * *After the Civil War fallout, Tony Stark is a shell of who he once was, struggling to find a new normal. But when the team is pardoned and returns, life is thrown off balance once again. Can the Avengers learn to work together, or are they too late? Has the damage been done? What could happen to bring them together again?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team, Tony Stark & Everyone
Comments: 113
Kudos: 390





	1. Chapter 1

The fake paparazzi smile plastered on his face was almost enough to hurt his cheeks. More cameras flashed, almost blinding if it wasn’t for his sunglasses. Good thing Tony Stark was literally born to be in the spotlight. 

“Mr. Stark! What will you do when the Rogue Avengers return?” 

“What do you mean ‘What will I do’?” he laughed, treating the crowd to his trademark smirk. “They are not ‘Rogues’, they are heroes. We’re the Avengers! We’re going to work together to keep you safe!” 

“But you’re going to just pretend like the Civil War never happened?” the interviewer persisted. 

“Ah, hello Ms. Everhart. Been a while. To answer your question, yes. The ‘Civil War’ was named by the public and completely blown out of proportion. It’s a flashy name, sure, and I can understand why people might think that, but I can assure you that your Avengers will be back and stronger than ever. The reality is, we’re all human at the end of the day. We make mistakes. You all know how many I’ve made."

The crowd chuckles at his self-deprecating smile. 

“And we’re a unit that has to work together under some….stressful situations to say the least. So, yes, accidents happen, and I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say that we’re just sorry you had to witness and experience some of the fallout from our...little disagreement. But just give us another chance. We won’t disappoint.” 

“Mr. Stark!” another reporter called. “What’s happening with the Accords?” 

“I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” Everybody laughed. “But seriously, that’s classified. I can only say we hear you, and we are working on it.” 

There were more shouted questions. 

“Mr. Stark! How do you feel about Captain America returning?” 

“As I said before, the Avengers are still a unit, and our favorite Star Spangled Super Soldier is part of that. I hope everyone is as excited as me for Stars N’ Stripes’ return!” 

“Mr. Stark! What happened in Siberia?” 

“Nothing you need to concern yourselves with. Seriously, just something between Cap and I.” 

Tony checked his watch and felt dizzy with relief. “Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for today. The big takeaway is that the Avengers will return, and better than ever. And I guess we’ll all see you real soon.” 

Tony held up a peace sign, walking off the stage to more questions, flashes, and cheers. 

No one saw the red-rimmed, troubled brown eyes embedded in dark circles, as expensive sunglasses hid them from the world. He was grateful no one could read his mind. Because his honest answer to the first question was “I have absolutely no idea.” 

* * * * * 

“Boss? Colonel Rhodes is outside waiting for you.” 

Tony sighed. “Alright, let him in, Fri.”

“Hey, Mr. Stank! Locking me out now?” Rhodey joked.

“Sorry, Honeybear, I lost track of time.” Tony tried to ignore the soft whirring of his best friend’s leg braces. 

“Right. So it has nothing to do with the fact that in 15 minutes the Rogue Avengers will be landing here?” 

“Even you're calling them that now?” Tony drawled. “Wait, is it that time already?” 

“Tones, you know you don’t have to see them, right?” Rhodey asked gently. 

Tony laughed bitterly. “Of course I do. We’re the Avengers. We’re going to be working together. I have to face the music at some point. May as well be now.”

His best friend sighed. “Fine. But remember I’m going to be right there with you.” 

Tony managed a grateful smile. “Thanks, Sugar.” he unconsciously rubbed his chest where a new arc reactor lay. 

“You need to stop locking yourself in here, man.” Rhodey scolded softly. 

“At least if I’m in here I’m not making other poor choices.” Tony pointed out, giving him a dark look. He didn’t need words to tell Rhodey that the liquor cabinet had been calling out to all his past demons, tempting him to fall back into old habits. 

“Oh, Tones.” Rhodes sighed, his face pinching in sympathy. Tony reached over his table, reaching for his phone, steadily avoiding his friend’s gaze. 

“Tony, when was the last time you slept or ate?” he suddenly asked, a horrible suspicion setting in as he watched his friends hands shake. 

“Boss hasn’t slept in 36 hours, and his last meal was 20 hours ago.” Friday helpfully stated. 

“Tattletale.” Tony grumbled, glaring. 

“Tony!” Rhodey gasped, his concern growing. 

Tony waved a hand dismissively. He opened his mouth to respond and brush away his concern when his AI interrupted again. 

“Boss.” she said, and both men could swear they heard hesitation and concern in her robotic voice. “The jet is approaching. Approximate arrival time 5 minutes.” 

“Great. Thanks, Babygirl.” Tony ignored the sudden nausea he felt and the blood rushing from his face. He squared his shoulders and raised shaky hands to grab his sunglasses. “Alright. Let’s get this show on the road. What do you say, Platypus?” 

Rhodes shook his head in admiration and defeat. “Let’s go, man.” 

Vision was already waiting outside when they got there.

“Hey, Vis.” Tony greeted, hiding the tremor in his voice with a cough.

“Colonel Rhodes. Sir.” Vision nodded in acknowledgement. 

The three watched the jet appear and Tony felt his heart race quicker the closer it got. 

Finally it landed, and it felt to Tony like suddenly everything stopped. He almost felt numb with resignation and apprehension. 

As the Rogue Avengers walked off the plane, Tony was not surprised when Captain America was the first off. 

Something inside of the genius twisted painfully at the sight of his ex-teammate. The man who was his childhood hero that he grew to hate when he learned he’d never be good enough, never compare to the great Captain America. The man whose approval he desperately craved while simultaneously despising him. 

Predictably, behind him trailed his best buddy. The man whose hands choked the life out of his mother and beat his father’s face in. The Winter Soldier. Bucky Barnes.

Tony’s vision suddenly swam as another bout of nausea made his stomach turn. It was abruptly difficult to breathe.

“Tony?” Rhodey asked quietly as the genius swayed on his feet. 

But the Black Widow was descending the stairs, and Tony felt the tightness in his chest loosen a fraction. 

When the seven people were off the plane, there was an awkward moment of silence. Tony swallowed and straightened his spine, assuming the role of the confident, unflappable narcissist that the media was used to. 

“Welcome back, everyone. It’s good to see you all safe and sound.” 

And a part of Tony hated himself even more when he realized that it was the truth.

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve responded.

“Rhodes. It’s good to see you walking again.” Wilson said, looking sick with guilt. 

“All thanks to Tony.” Rhodey shrugged. 

“Hello, Vision.” Wanda’s voice sounded uncharacteristically uncertain.

“Miss Maximoff.” the Android’s voice lacked any warmth, and the Scarlet Witch shrank in on herself. 

“All of you remember where your rooms are, I assume?” Tony smoothly interjected. “Rogers, I put Barnes in the empty unit across from you. I figured that would be best.” 

“Thank you, Tony. I-” 

“And Mr. Lang, Friday will direct you to yours. You can all get unpacked and settled. There will be a meeting in an hour in the conference room. Other than that, you are free to do as you wish. Just please be wary of any upgrades in the security. Friday will walk you through them. If you have any questions or concerns, just let me know.” 

All at once, he couldn’t get out of there quick enough, and he just barely managed to not run back inside. 

When he finally managed to stumble into the elevator, he sank down against the wall, breathing heavily. 

The elevator door immediately closed and Friday sent it up to his bedroom floor. 

“Boss, your heart rate is erratic." she informed his as he all but stumbled into his room. "I suggest-” 

“Pep-Pepper.” Tony gasped out. He sat at the edge of his bed, gripping the comforter tightly. 

Luckily, Friday understood, and only a few seconds later Pepper’s calming voice reached his ears. 

“Tony?”

“Pep.” 

“Tony? Are you okay?” Pepper’s voice sounded urgent.

“I can’t-” 

“Tony, focus on me. Listen to my voice. You’re okay. Everything’s alright.” she continued to soothe him with comforting words, and finally Tony was breathing normally. 

“Tony, did they finally get there? Is that what’s wrong?” she gently asked. 

“He’s- he’s grown a beard.” Tony babbled, the first thought that came to his head. “Everything’s so different but it’s still the same. And...Barnes is just standing right there. I can he-hear my mother- Oh god, my Mom-” his words dissolved, his throat closing up. 

“Tony. Shh. You do not have to see him or Rogers or any of those assholes again. Do you hear me?” 

“But-”

“No. Tony, you deserve to be selfish about this. The whole world treats you horribly and takes you for granted. You deserve an escape from that in your own home. Why do they deserve your consideration? Screw saving the world, screw the Avengers. What’s best for you?” 

A moment of silence answered her question until Tony quietly said “You.” 

“Oh, Tony.” Pepper breathed sadly. 

“Pepper-” 

“Tony, honey. We talked about this. I am the one at fault here, okay? You’re amazing just the way you are, and you deserve so much more than someone who needs you to change who you are.” 

“You made me a better person, Pep.” 

“Tony, you were already a good person long before we were an item. I just am incapable of being in a relationship with someone whose line of work leaves me wondering if every day will be the last time I’ll see them. But Tony, Iron Man is a part of you. It’s who you are. And I won’t let you change that just for me. I could never forgive myself for that. I love you too much for that.” 

“It hurts to see them.” he whispered. 

“Tony, you don’t have to see them.” Pepper’s voice held a firmness he hadn’t heard in a long time. “But for now I want you to go to sleep for at least a few hours.” 

“The meeting-” Tony protested weakly. 

“Fuck the meeting. As your CEO I am ordering you to go to sleep.” 

Tony wanted to fight her on that, but suddenly he realized how exhausted he was. The idea of laying his head down on an actual pillow seemed too wonderful to pass up, and he felt his eyelids droop. 

“Fine.” he replied obediently, his words almost slurred from exhaustion. “I miss you, Pep.” he mumbled, and he sighed in contentment when he pulled the sheets over himself and relaxed into the mattress. 

“Goodnight, Tony.” Pepper’s tone held the fondness he was starved for, and her soft voice was the last thing Tony heard before everything went blissfully dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Avengers back, Tony's mental health is already spiraling and the tension is palpable. Will the Avengers be of any help? Or will a surprising person become a new ally? Or friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Everyone! 
> 
> Back with another update! This one is quite lengthy since the only other place I felt could be a stopping point didn't get to where I wanted it to! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Steve watched Tony leave with growing disappointment. He’d been both dreading seeing the genius again and needing to see him so they could talk. Steve felt sick with guilt every time he thought of Tony, and seeing him in person was almost too much. Steve felt the breath get knocked out of him as he laid eyes on the billionaire. Tony looked great- he was wearing his signature rock band t-shirt and gray jeans, and sunglasses that probably cost a little less than some people’s cars. Steve didn’t know what he was expecting; Tony to be in tatters hysterically sobbing and lost without Steve and the Avengers? No, Tony seemed almost unaffected by their return, and that tore at Steve’s heart. Tony welcomed them back, and Steve was so focused on Tony that he didn’t even notice Rhodes’ leg braces until Sam mentioned it. His heart dropped again; another thing the Super Soldier blamed himself for. 

Steve was taken aback by Vision’s cold greeting and felt sympathy for the witch by his side. However, his attention was quickly diverted when Tony informed him of Bucky’s room placement. Steve felt himself almost burst with gratitude. He opened his mouth to thank the genius who had done so much for him and apologize, but Tony quickly cut him off. 

He informed them of the meeting and rushed off, ignoring Rhodey’s concerned call after him. 

Steve stared in shock. 

He and Natasha exchanged a worried glance. 

“What was that?” he asked Rhodey. 

“That was Tony Stark not apologizing to us.” Clint grumbled. 

Steve silenced him with a look. 

“Nothing to concern yourself with. Why don’t you all unpack and settle in before the meeting?” 

He turned around and went in the direction Tony had. 

“Vision?” Wanda tried again timidly. 

The Android turned as if to leave as well, and Wanda caught his arm. “Vision, please, I’m sorry, I-”

“Miss Maximoff, please understand me well when I say that I bear no ill will towards you for anything you did to me during the ‘Civil War’. Or anyone else. However, you must also understand that, after everything that came to pass, my loyalty is to Mr. Stark.” 

“He doesn’t deserve it.” Wanda growled. “Please.”

“Miss Maximoff. Wanda. I ask you to respect what I am saying.” Vision gently disentangled himself from her and left. 

All eyes soon turned to their leader as everyone looked to him for what to do next. 

“Let’s get settled and we can discuss everything during the meeting.” the Super Soldier managed to say past the lump in his throat. 

Steve was distracted when he sat in his room. His room hadn't changed a bit since he’d left. 

There was a soft knock on the door and Natasha slipped in. Her red locks were wet from a shower, and her eyes were troubled. 

“What’s up, Nat?” 

“Just heard Rhodey talking to someone on the phone. Tony isn’t coming to the meeting.” 

Steve frowned. “I’m sure he just got busy. You know Tony.” 

Natasha shook her head. “You didn’t see what I saw when we landed.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Tony was a mess, Steve. His body language was so tense he was almost a statue. His goatee wasn’t as maintained as usual which isn’t like him, and he was wearing sunglasses that conveniently hid his eyes.” 

“Tony always wears sunglasses.” Steve pointed out weakly. 

“For god’s sake, Steve. I’m serious. Tony was completely off.” 

“Okay. I believe you.” Steve assured her quietly. 

“I figured it would be hard on him, but I hoped- I hoped he’d be okay.” 

Steve had never heard the Black Widow sound so lost and unsure. 

Then Steve remembered who Natasha had actually agreed with. 

“I’m sorry, Nat.” he said, laying a hand over hers. “I’m sorry you did all that for me.” 

Natasha smiled, and it was so bittersweet. “Steve. You’re my friend. I will never regret helping you. But I do regret hurting him to help you. I already have so much red in my ledger, and now there’s so much more. I don’t know how to go about fixing this.” 

“Neither do I.” Steve admitted. 

There was another knock and Bucky peeked in. 

“Meeting time.” he informed them. 

Steve sighed and stood, summoning Captain America as he went to meet his teammates. 

* * * * * 

When Tony woke up he was so disoriented and groggy that he didn’t know where he was. It had been so long since he actually slept in a bed that he had to take a minute to get his bearings. 

“Fri?” 

“You are in your bedroom, Boss. It is currently 11 pm.You have been asleep for nearly 9 hours.” 

“What?” Tony yelped. “Why didn’t you wake me?!” 

“Your scans indicate a serious lack of rest. Without sleep, collapse was imminent.” 

“But the meeting-” 

“The Rogue Avengers held the meeting with Colonel Rhodes and got all the necessary information.” 

“Rogu-? Not you too, Fri” Tony sighed. “They're not- Oh screw it. Thanks, Babygirl.” 

Figuring that now was as good a time as any to get work done, Tony got out of bed to shower and change. When he did, he shot Pepper a text thanking her for her help. 

He made his way down to the lab, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone. He got to work, pulling up all the projects he was working on. 

For the next few days Tony Stark locked himself in his lab, working on projects to distract himself. Rhodey was the only one to enter; he was the only one who had override access. 

“Boss. You’ve not eaten in 15 hours. I insist you take a break for nourishment.” 

“Fri-” 

“Please, Boss.” Friday chirped. 

“Really? You know I can’t resist it when you say that.” Tony whined. 

“That was the point, Sir.” 

“Fine.” 

“I suggest you ask Colonel Rhodes to bring you food.” 

Tony scoffed. “I’m not an invalid, Fri.” 

“I highly suggest-”

“Fri, stop-”

“The Rogue Avengers are in the kitchen.” 

That stopped Tony in his tracks. Then, abruptly, white hot anger coursed through him. He was angry that he felt that way, he was angry that he wanted to hide in his own damn house, he was angry at Steve and the other Avengers, and he was angry at himself. 

“Stark men are made of iron.” he muttered. He marched over to the elevator and made his way to the kitchen. 

Despite the advanced warning, Tony was still surprised to find everyone in the kitchen. 

“Tony.” Steve also looked surprised and tongue-tied, shocked to see the genius. 

“Cap.” Tony acknowledged. “The gang’s all here.” 

“Tony-” Natasha took a step forward. 

“Ms. Romanov. Don’t worry, I just came to get some food.” 

“Tony, you’re, uh, wearing your sunglasses inside.” Steve pointed out. 

He shrugged, the lie coming easily. “I have the lights on bright in the lab.” 

“You’ve been there the whole time?” Wilson asked, his eyebrow raising. 

“I didn’t say that. Don’t just make assumptions.” deflected Tony. 

“Why do you always have to be so difficult, Stark?” Barton hisses. 

Tony held his hands up in surrender. “Look, I’m just here for food. I’ll be out of your hair in just a second.” 

“You don’t have to go, Tony.” Steve protested firmly, his Captain America voice taking over. “I think we should talk.” 

“By ‘we’, do you mean ‘we’?” Tony indicated Steve and himself. “Or ‘we’?” he indicated the entire group. 

“Both?” Steve actually sounded unsure.

Tony laughed. “There isn’t much to say. We all made mistakes. You’re all back now and we’re going to be working together, and I hope that it can work again.” 

“Could you for one second not act like an entitled narcissistic prick?” Barton glowered. 

“What can I say? That’s just who I am.” Tony spread his arms out, smirking.

“Now is not the time for jokes.” Steve reprimanded. 

“Who said I was joking?"he rebuffed seriously. "Actually, no, you know what? There is something to say. I’m sorry the fight got that far. I understood your concerns and wanted to hear them out- things got out of hand so quickly. And I sincerely apologize for my part of that. I never wanted any of that to happen. And you all being back here is an olive branch I hope you’ll accept.” 

“What did you say to Vision?” Wanda demanded. 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “You’re gonna have to be specific than that, Ms. Maximoff.” 

“What did you say to Vision to make him turn away from us.” she glowered. 

“Uh, I believe you did that one yourself. You did send him through my floor and use your magic against him.” Tony replied coolly. 

Wanda’s hands glowed red with rage and Tony quickly turned away, hiding a flinch. 

“Believe it or not, I didn’t say a word to Vision.” 

“Tony, you have to admit Vision isn’t the type of...person to suddenly start turning away from his friends.” Steve said gently. “Is there a possibility you may have said something to him?” 

“Screw you, Cap.” Tony answered simply. He grabbed an apple and turned to leave. 

“Tony. Tony, wait.” he heard footsteps approaching him from behind, and goosebumps rose over his whole body. He jumped, turning to see as Steve approached. 

“Listen, Tony. I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry for how Siberia turned out-” 

“Oh, yes, your letter expressed as much.” Tony scoffed. 

“Tony, can we please be adults about this?” 

“I am. In fact, I was the one trying to compromise and reach a decision. Together. And now I’m the one trying to move on and let bygones be bygones. It’s actually you all who want to hold onto the feuds. I’m just trying to make sure we can work together and function enough to do what we do.” 

“We do more than work together, Tony. We’re a unit, a team. Maybe even a family.” 

At this, Tony laughed. “Cap, we’re not a team. Well, you all may be a team. But I’m beginning to think Bruce was right. We’re a ticking time bomb.” 

Steve shook his head. “Tony. I just want to fix this.” 

“Then let’s move on. We’ll be civil and work with each other. We don’t need more than that.” 

Steve sighed. “Alright. If that’s what you want.” 

“Have a good night, Cap.” 

“You too, Tony.” Steve watched Tony walk away, and he couldn’t make himself push anymore. 

So instead, Captain America returned to the kitchen and to his teammates. 

* * * * * 

Weeks passed in a similar fashion. Tony avoided the Rogues, and the few times he saw them were unpleasant. He spent as much time out of the compound as he could, and when he was there he was in his workshop.

“Boss, Peter Parker is here.” Friday announced, disrupting the engineer from his work. 

“Thanks, Fri. Where is he?” 

“He’s currently in the lounge talking with the Captain, Ms. Romanov, and Mr. Barton.” 

“Shit.” Tony cursed. 

He hurried up to the lounge. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark!” the teenager greeted brightly. 

“Hey, kid.” Tony managed a smile. 

“I can’t believe I’m meeting Captain America! And Black Widow and Hawkeye!” 

Tony’s eyes flickered over to the aforementioned heroes. All looked quite amused by the teen’s babbling. 

“That’s great, Pete.” 

“I mean, these are the people I’ve looked up to forever! And now that you’re not fighting anymore, I can properly meet everyone!” 

“We’ve met before?” Barton asked. 

“Well not properly. I’m still sorry I stole your shield, Captain America, Sir!” 

Steve’s eyes widened. “You’re the Spider Kid from Germany?” 

“It’s actually Spiderman.” Peter blushed. 

“Wow, nice job recruiting a child to fight your own battles, Stark.” Barton glared. 

“Oh no, it wasn’t-” the kid started to explain. 

“Tony, that was incredibly irresponsible! What on Earth were you thinking?” Steve demanded. “He’s a kid for god’s sake! I can’t believe you brought a child into battle!” 

“I’m 17!” Peter protested. 

“Not helping, Pete.” Tony sighed. 

“This really concerns me, Tony.” Captain America shook his head in disappointment. 

“Are you done judging me?” Tony asked flatly. 

“Not even remotely.” Anger flickered in the soldier’s eyes. 

“God, this is your problem, Rogers. You’re so quick to act and judge. You were never sorry for what you did to me or your part. You were only sorry that it reflected poorly on your squeaky clean image.” 

“I did what I had to do.” Steve insisted. 

“Keep telling yourself that, Rogers.” Tony turned on his heel. “Come on, Pete.” 

“Stark!” they shouted after him. 

Tony Stark ignored them, throwing his arm over the kid’s shoulder. 

“Mr. Stark, I’m so sorry. I thought-” Peter began to apologize. 

“Not your fault, Kid.” 

But Peter still frowned. “I thought you guys were friends.” 

“Me, too, Pete. Me too.” 

* * * * * 

“Tony? Tony!” Pepper’s exasperated voice finally pulled him away from his thoughts.

“Yeah? Sorry, Pep.” Tony looked at his ex bashfully. 

“Are you okay?” she frowned. 

“Right as rain, Pepper m’dear.”

“You know you can’t lie to me.”

Tony shrugged. “So what were you asking?” 

“How do you feel about the new draft of the Accords?” 

This actually brought a smile to Tony’s face. “I think this draft is the best yet. I’m still scanning for problem spots, but they’re getting so much better.” 

“Well, I for one can tell that you’re putting your heart and soul into it. Just promise me you’re slightly taking care of yourself?” she begged, her eyes narrowing at Tony’s too-thin face and the deep dark circles under his eyes. 

Tony shrugged again. “I wanna prove them wrong, Pep. If I show them I can be right about the Accords I might get their trust back.” 

At this Pepper scowled. “Tony, they treated you like shit. Why do you even want their trust back?” 

“They’re my teammates.” Tony said simply. 

“Well you can prove them wrong while eating and sleeping.” she insisted, giving him her signature disapproving look. 

“Whatever you say.” Tony smiled 

Rolling her eyes, Pepper left, saying “Oh, don’t forget about the Board meeting tomorrow. You have to show up to at least one on occasion, you know.” 

Tony laughed, turning back to his lab.

He jumped when he noticed a black shadow in the corner. 

“Jesus!” he clutched his chest, trying to slow his breathing. “Maybe don’t sneak up on the guy with heart problems?” he snapped. 

“Sorry.” Bucky shrugged, looking a tad bashful. 

“Can I help you with something, Mr. Barnes?” Tony asked, eyeing the Super Soldier warily. 

“That depends.” Bucky replied casually. “Are the rumors true?” 

Tony scoffed. “In case you weren’t too familiar with me, there are many rumors surrounding Yours Truly, so you’re gonna have to be more specific, Buckaroo.” 

The Winter Soldier cocked his head, regarding the genius curiously. “Did you help create the schematics for my new arm.” he asked bluntly. 

Tony cursed. “I knew I should’ve been more careful. I guess the Shuri kid is smarter than I thought,” he grumbled. 

“Why did you do that?” the ex-assassin asked softly. 

“In case you forgot, I was the one who was responsible for the loss of the arm.” 

Bucky chuckled. “I remember that perfectly. But why did you send them to her anonymously?” he pressed. 

“You don’t need my charity.”

“I killed your parents.” Buck shook his head, his eyes full of pain and anger. 

Tony flinched at the brutality of the words cutting at him. “It wasn’t you.” he whispered, parroting the words he’d been told. 

“I know. I know I wouldn’t have done any of it if it wasn’t for Hydra.” he shuddered. “But you had to see it. It doesn’t change the fact you heard your mother’s screams or watched my hands-” he choked, unable to continue. 

“No one else seems to understand that.” Tony smiled bitterly. 

“Would it help if I told you how sorry I am? If I told you I still am haunted by those screams and images in my head? And not just your parents? 

“I don’t know.” Tony admitted. “My father always respected you very much. You shouldn’t blame yourself. I know- I know my parents wouldn’t. I don’t. ” 

The Winter Soldier made a wounded noise, his face breaking into too many emotions for one to read. 

“I don’t- you- Thank you, Stark.” his head dropped. 

“Tony, please. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry you went through all that. And I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

“Woulda done the same thing.” Bucky shook his head. “It was sprung on you, and you didn’t have a chance to process. It was a totally emotion-driven response. You weren’t in your right mind. I still don’t understand why Stevie didn’t tell you. I woulda lost my mind and done a lot worse if I was in your shoes. I’m still mad at him for keeping that from you. You’re his friend.” 

Tony shook his head. 

“We were only ever teammates.” Tony sighed. “It was just- Howards was a drinker. I thought- “ 

“You thought he crashed the car.” Bucky said in horror, putting the pieces together. 

“I hated him for years. Well, we never had a great relationship, but that was the final straw. Blamed him for my mom’s death. For taking her away from me.” 

“I’m-” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Tony waved his hand dismissively.

“What do you mean? Of course it matters!” Bucky’s voice was choked. 

“I shouldn’t mourn him anyway. He was a Grade A Asshole.” 

“He was your Dad.” Bucky whispered. 

“In the loosest terms.” Tony shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact he was my biggest demon growing up. But of course, who can compare to Captain America?” 

The Winter Soldier winced. 

“He always told me how that was his greatest achievement. It wasn’t until a few years ago I found a video of him telling me I was his greatest invention. Bastard couldn’t even tell his own son he loved him. He had to leave a goddamn video.” 

There was a moment of silence. 

“And now I’m telling the person who was brainwashed and killed him about my daddy issues. Great.” 

“Does Stevie know any of this?” 

That earned another mocking laugh. “Yeah, right. He probably wouldn't believe me. It worked both ways; I could never compare to Howard for Rogers.” 

Bucky frowned. 

“Well, if you didn’t need me for anything else?” Tony shifted awkwardly. 

“Nah. Thanks, Stark.” 

“I told you it’s Tony.” the engineer reminded him playfully. 

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Alright. See you around, Buckaroo.” 

Tony turned to leave but stopped when Bucky called after him. 

“Tony?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s, uh...I mean...you could call me James?” 

Tony frowned, confused. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed we were at nicknames.” 

“No, no, it’s just- Stevie still wants me to be the Bucky he knew in World War 2. I get it, he’s lost a lot too, it’s just...I’m not. I’m not ‘Bucky’ anymore. So maybe to you I can just be James?” 

Tony felt an emotion he couldn’t quite place coursing through him. Pity? Compassion? Anger?

“Sure. You’ve got it, James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you reached the end of this long long chapter, Thank you!   
> I appreciate every reader! I hope you liked this update and look forward to the next one!   
> This one came quite quickly, but I don't have a set schedule for updates and can't guarantee they'll always be as quick! 
> 
> As always,   
> Stay Safe and Happy, friends! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things at the Compound are still tough, but after an incident will the Avengers eyes be opened? Or will further problems keep spiraling?

“Tony, can I talk to you?” Tony was momentarily distracted by the sight of Steve, fresh from a run, jogging up to him.

“What can I do for you, Cap?”

“Bucky said he talked to you.” the soldier started hesitantly, and Tony felt himself tense instantly. 

“Yeah.” he verified, his tone suggesting a defensive ‘What about it?’

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Steve finished somewhat awkwardly. 

Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“No need to worry, Cap. I’m not gonna take your best friend’s arm again.” 

Steve sighed. “That’s not what I meant, Tony. I wanted to make sure you were alright. I know it must not be easy to have him around, and-” he was cut off by the shorter man’s laugh.

“Now why would you care about that? Your best friend is here, you’ve all been pardoned, and you get to be Avengers again! Life’s great! Why would you be worried if I was okay?” 

Steve took a surprised, involuntary step back. “Because you’re my friend, Tony. I-” 

Tony shook his head. “Rogers, why can’t we just move on? I accept your apology-” 

“But you don’t forgive me.” Steve interjected. 

“Why does it matter?” Tony shot back desperately. “I’m not going to go after you or your war buddy, okay?” 

“But that’s not the point!” Steve argued, frustrated. 

“Then what is? Cap, let’s just be honest here; you’ve never liked me or trusted me. So let’s cut the ‘Avengers are Family’ bullshit, because I’m not involved in that. ‘Iron Man, yes. Tony Stark, not recommended’. I get it, okay? So just….let’s just leave it at that.” 

Tony turned to walk away, missing Steve’s shocked, hurt expression. 

The genius’ phone rang and Steve heard Tony's greeting of “Hey, kid.” 

Steve stood there in silence for a few minutes, replaying the conversation in his head. He’d never heard Tony Stark sound so…dispassionate. Resigned. 

“You should see him without the sunglasses.” his best friend's voice said, walking up behind him. 

“What?” 

“He looks awful. His eyes are all red and by the circles under them it's clear he hasn’t slept in...weeks.” Bucky told him. 

Steve met his eyes. 

“I’m just saying...I’ve looked better after being tortured.” Bucky shrugged. 

Steve winced. 

“The man isn’t doing so hot, Steve. I think he needs help.” 

“I’ve tried talking to him, Buck, I don’t know what else to do!” Steve ran a hand through his hair, agitated. 

“Don’t give up. If he really is your friend, treat him like you’d treat me.” 

Steve nodded, still looking in the direction Tony went. 

“Hey, Jarvis?” 

“It’s Friday, Sir.” the AI spoke, and Tony’s new AI definitely had a tone of reproach in its robotic voice. 

Steve winced. He’d forgotten Tony had lost Jarvis. 

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” 

“Is there a way I can assist you?” 

“Is, uh, I mean...where’s Tony now?” 

“Boss is in the workshop currently.” 

“Ah. Okay. Thank you, Friday.” 

A stony silence answered him, and for a moment Steve let himself be amazed at the intricacy of what Tony created. Steve felt a sudden rush of affection for the genius, then a rush of sadness. 

“I hope I didn’t mess this up too bad, Buck.” 

“Me too, Punk. Me too.” 

* * * * * 

“Tones? Come on, man, focus.” 

Tony snapped his attention to his friend. 

“Sorry, Honeybear. I haven’t been able to pay attention lately. What do you need?” 

Rhodey snorted. “Man, I’m not the others. I don’t always need you to want to talk to you.” 

“Sorry.” Tony replied with a sheepish grin.

“I figured we could do lunch before the meeting.” 

Tony smiled. “Sure, Platypus. What did you have in mind?” 

“Nothing fancy. Just a sandwich.”

“Okay.” Tony fell into step beside Rhodey, and they chatted casually as they made their way to the kitchen. But Tony froze when he saw the rest of the Avengers in the kitchen. 

“Well look who finally decided to grace us with their presence.” Barton sneered. 

“Clint.” Steve immediately admonished warningly. 

“Hi, Tony.” Natasha said, looking uncharacteristically unsure. 

“Ms. Romanov.” Tony grudgingly followed Rhodey further into the room. “You, uh, you want your usual, right, Honeybear?” 

“Of course, Mr. Stank.” Rhodey’s little jab somewhat worked, and Tony cracked a smile.

But everything went to shit when Tony reached up to grab something from the pantry. His jacket popped open, and the soft glow of the arc reactor was visible through his white shirt. 

Everyone gasped. 

“Tony, you have the arc reactor back in?” Natasha asked. 

“What is that?” Bucky breathed. 

“It keeps his heart going.” Wanda informed him casually. 

“What?” Bucky yelped. “I almost tore that out!” he glared at Steve. 

“I didn’t need it then.” Tony waved a hand. “It was just part of the suit.” 

“Then why is it back in?” Natasha asked sharply. 

“Does it really matter?” Tony evaded the question. 

“Seeing as how at one point it kept you alive, yes!” the Black Widow’s voice was strained.

Tony sighed. “Since Afghanistan and I first got the arc reactor, my sternum has been weak as shit. The arc reactor kept shrapnel from reaching my heart. Years ago I had surgery to remove the shrapnel and arc reactor, but it didn’t change how weak my chest was. And I, uh, got hit there pretty bad and it cracked my sternum. So I was rushed into surgery, and they decided the best way to mend it would be to put the arc reactor back in to hold everything together. My heart doesn’t rely on it anymore, but it’s back and attached to my chest.” 

All the blood rushed from Steve’s face and he almost swayed where he stood. 

“I did that?” he choked, and all eyes went to him. He turned pleading blue eyes to Tony. “My shield?” 

Tony’s eyes dropped, and that was all the confirmation Steve needed. 

“Oh my god.” he stumbled forward, toward those grief-stricken brown eyes. “Tony, I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t- are you okay? I-”

“Rogers, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not! It’s the furthest thing from okay!” Steve shouted. “I almost killed you!” 

And then the Super Soldier cried. 

Everyone else in the room watched in silent wonder as a tear slid down Captain America’s face. 

“Cap, it’s okay. I’m as alive and obnoxious as I’ve ever been.” he spread his arms out, failing at appearing cocky. “See?” 

But Steve just shook his head, then reached out hesitantly and grabbed Tony’s wrist. Gently he pulled the shorter man to him, and after a moment of hesitation Tony allowed himself to be pulled closer into an embrace. 

“Tony.” Steve’s voice was rough, his hands clutched in Tony’s shirt, and he buried his face in Tony’s hair, desperate to feel that the genius was alive. 

“I’m right here, Cap.” Tony patted Steve’s back awkwardly. 

“Tony, I am so. So. Sorry. I never meant to- Oh god, I can’t believe that happened. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.” 

Tony also looked lost, unsure of how to proceed. “Rogers, I wasn’t a Saint either. Far from it.” 

But Steve shook his head. “Tony, any normal person would have reacted the same way.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s okay. We should actually get ready for our meeting.” 

“What meeting?” Lang asked. 

“The one about the new Accords.” Natasha supplied. 

“Not this again.” Sam said. 

Tony tensed. “They’re different. I’ve-” 

“We don’t want anything to do with them!” Wanda insisted. “It’s already been established that we’re way too important to be cast aside. We don’t need the Accords!” 

“If you read them-” 

“Listen for once in your life, Stark. There’s a reason all that shit went down. Drop it.” Barton said. 

“I’ve been working to amend them. They’ve changed a lot. They’re much safer for us!” Tony said quietly. 

“I don’t want to sign anything Ross has touched.” 

“He hasn’t! If you come to the meeting you’ll all hear about how I’m planning to take Ross down!” 

Steve felt goosebumps envelope his entire body; Steve had never heard Tony Stark beg like that before. 

“Tones, man, take it easy.” Rhodey laid a concerned hand on his friend’s shoulder. But Tony was shaking now, his breaths more labored. “Rhodey, they have to- I’ve changed so much in them-” 

“Tony!” Steve, still close to Tony tightened his grip on the man. “Breathe.” 

“Please just read them. Please.” 

When a stunned silence met his plea, Tony began again. “You have to know. Everyone- they have to know. I’m trying. Please. I’m trying.” 

“Tony?” Natasha took a cautious step forward. 

“I don’t want to hurt people anymore.” the tiny whispered begging sounded like a scream in the otherwise silent room. “We have to stay together. We have to protect people. That- that also means from us. From me. I can’t…I won’t go through that again. I can’t.” 

Rhodey stepped into Tony’s line of sight, blocking anyone else out. 

“Tones. Do your countdown for me.” 

After a moment Tony listed off five things he could see, four things he could touch, three things he could hear, two things he could smell, and one thing he could taste.

“Good, that’s real good. You’re doing great, Tones. Why don’t you go meet Pep? She’s here to help during the meeting.” 

“Boss, she’s on the fourth floor.” 

Tony nodded. “Thanks, Babygirl.” He shakily walked to the elevator, and the door had barely closed when everyone’s attention snapped to Rhodes.

“How long has he been like that?” Natasha whispered.

Rhodey laughed drily. “As long as I’ve known him.” 

“What?” 

“Oh yeah. What, Cap, didn’t get to know Tony enough to know he has horrible anxiety, PTSD, alcohol abuse issues, and the worst case of self-hatred I’ve ever seen? Shocker.” 

“He’s-” Steve stopped to compose himself. “He’s always been like that?” 

Rhodey sighed. “I shouldn’t even be telling you all this, but maybe it’ll finally break through your thick skull. Yes. Thanks to Howard and his horrible parenting, Tony’s childhood explains the self-hatred and alcohol abuse; like father like son. He’s always had some anxiety but it’s definitely worsened in recent years. Afghanistan was the start of his PTSD (no surprise there). But it worsened after New York.” 

“New York? But that was-?” 

“Years ago? Oh, yes. You thought he brought it up to brag about the time he saved New York? No, that was him trying to talk about his trauma the only way he knew. Whatever he saw in that wormhole scared him shitless. He’s never been the same since that day. Why do you think he created Ultron?” 

“Because he thought he knew better than everyone.” Wanda said defiantly. 

Rhodey’s eyes flashed. “Or maybe because on top of his PTSD from New York, a witch broke into his brain and showed him his worst fear come true.” 

“What?” Steve’s attention snapped to Wanda.

“It was before everything changed in Sokovia!” Wanda said in defense. 

“What did you show him?” Steve’s voice held more curiosity than anger. 

“I don’t know.” she admitted. “It doesn’t work like that.” 

They all looked at Rhodey expectantly. 

“Nope. I’ve already betrayed his confidence enough. But I will tell you it scared him enough to rush into Ultron. So, yes, he made a mistake, but it was because he was terrified. And after you all blamed him for every single thing that came from that, he didn’t trust himself. Which is why he supported the Accords. You all told him that he- and in his mind that extended to all of us- couldn’t be trusted just because of good intentions alone. And that’s why you’re here. Tony put aside his feelings and his health because he feels that the world needs the Avengers. He’s more scared of what’s to come than he is of you all, which, as you’ve seen, is saying a lot. So, if I were you all, I would read the newly drafted Accords. You may just be surprised. He’s basically been starving himself and not sleeping to please you all- the people who betrayed him. Do yourself a favor and at least read it.” 

The Colonel turned on his heel and left. The silence in the room of heroes was almost deafening. 

“I, uh, I think I never really knew Tony Stark.” Steve said quietly. 

“Are you for real, Steve?” Clint rolled his eyes. “So Stark has issues. Don’t we all. Tony Stark doesn’t get to whine and cry because he’s like the rest of us.” 

“He still killed my parents.” Wanda agreed. 

“Did you not hear everything Rhodes just said? Did you not just see Stark fall to pieces in front of us?” Natasha asked incredulously. 

“It doesn’t change what he’s done. My wife refuses to see me thanks to that jackass.” the archer burst out. 

“Tony wasn’t the one to drag you away from them. You did that. You left them. Tony didn't turn you into a fugitive. Your choice did. Take some responsibility for your own actions. No one held a gun to your head and forced you out of retirement.” 

She turned unfriendly eyes and Wanda. 

“And he didn’t kill your parents.” 

“His bomb-” 

“Was not fired by him. You blame the person who shot the gun, not the arms manufacturer. And if you must know, Tony’s godfather who he trusted went behind Tony’s back to sell Stark Industries Weapons to terrorists. He still blames himself even though it was never his fault. Obadiah Stane is responsible for that destruction and Tony’s torture in Afghanistan and the theft of his arc reactor.” 

“The theft of-? But- how does that-?” 

“By that I mean attempted murder. He paralyzed Tony and literally took the arc reactor and ripped it out of his chest.” 

“What?” Steve squawked.

“Yes. His own godfather. One of the men who was more like a father to him than his own father So are you really shocked he has betrayal, trust, and self-esteem issues?”

“I- I didn’t know.” Steve stammered. 

“Yeah, well, it’s all in his file. I’ve read it but tried to respect his privacy about it. Maybe Rhodey is right and this will open your eyes.” she walked out of the room but paused in the doorway. “If you all really wanted to know what type of man Tony Stark is, you may want to ask why his first AI was named Jarvis.” 

“Friday?” Steve asked softly, knowing Tony created her to be so smart she knew what he was asking. 

“Boss named his first Artificial Intelligence after the man who raised him; the Stark’s butler Edwin Jarvis. He explains that it simply stands for ‘Just A Rather Very Intelligent System’, but it is in honor of his father.” 

Steve took that information in silently. 

He couldn’t put the image of his friend Howard and connect it with the image Tony and his friends projected of him, but it explained a lot and broke his heart. 

“Thank you.” he managed to say. 

He looked around and was exhausted but not surprised to notice they were once again looking to him for guidance and instruction. 

“I’m going to hear about these new Accords.” he told them simply, leaving them to make their own choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So...that happened! Poor Tony can't catch a break!   
> I hope you guys enjoyed this update! This story is definitely one where the happy ending is...a long time coming. But I hope you'll stick with me for it! 
> 
> As always, I welcome and feedback and/or reactions- it really helps :) 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony needs help, the closest person to him is the person whose help he wants the least. But it may just help in the long run and lead to a necessary, long overdue talk.

“Boss-” 

“Mute, Friday.” Tony ordered, knowing without a doubt she was once again going to remind him to sleep or eat. He cringed, feeling guilty for muting his Babygirl when she was only trying to look out for him. But he decided to do a little update in her coding to make it up to her, so he went back to the project he was working on. 

He had updated all of the Avengers equipment and was now looking at scans of Rhodey’s leg braces to see if he could somehow improve them and make them more comfortable.  
In the week following Tony’s meltdown in front of the Avengers, Tony had been hiding much worse than normal; not even Pepper or Rhodey were allowed in. Tony had not even left the lab, sleeping on the cot for an hour or two and showering in the lab’s bathroom, and only living off the (sometimes polluted) smoothies Dummy made him. 

Mortified couldn’t even begin to describe how he felt. Knowing he’d lost his mind, whimpering like a baby in front of the mighty Avengers- in front of Captain freaking America- made him want to disappear for the rest of his life. He angrily swiped the sweat off his brow, working away his dark thoughts. 

His vision swam as he turned around too quickly to his other work table.

ACDC played loudly as he continued, but his head grew increasingly fuzzy until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He sighed and stood to go get some good, but his knees buckled. 

“Shit!” He tried to grab the side of the table, but the last thing he knew was everything going dark, and the feeling of falling.

* * * * * 

Steve was sitting on his bed reading quietly when suddenly a voice interrupted the silence. 

“Captain Rogers?” Friday asked. 

“Yes, Friday?” Steve responded politely, looking up at the ceiling out of habit.

“Boss is unconscious in his lab right now and requires medical attention. You are the closest to the lab and due to Boss’ safety protocol I can override his lockdown-” 

But Steve was already racing to the lab, his heart pounding. When he entered the lab he heard the music blaring and saw tools strewn about, empty smoothie cups and coffee mugs all over.

“Friday, turn the music down. Please.” Instantly it was quiet. 

Steve scanned the room anxiously and finally saw Tony in a heap on the floor, surrounded by Dummy, Butterfingers, and U. 

“Shit!” Steve dove toward the unconscious genius. “Tony? Tony!” he gently shook the smaller man, patting his cheeks. 

Beside him, the three robots beeped and whirred sadly, clearly worried for their creator. 

“Tony, come on, wake up!” Steve tried again. 

Finally Tony groaned, his eyes fluttering as he came to. 

“What happened?” he asked. “Rogers?” 

“You passed out.” Steve replied, his hands gently flitting over the engineer as he looked for any injuries. 

Tony cursed. He moaned softly when Steve rubbed the back of his head gently while he inspected it for bumps. 

“Headache.” he said softly. 

“Tony, when was the last time you ate?” 

The billionaire sighed. “I wish people would stop asking me that.” 

“Tony-” 

“Cap, I’m fine.” Tony sat up slowly, disentangling himself from Steve. “See?” 

“You are not fine.” Steve stubbornly crossed his arms.

“Look, I know this was bad. I muted Fri when she was trying to warn me, so I’m listening to her now. I promise I’m going to eat real food and as soon as I do I’m going to sleep. Okay?” 

“Okay.” the Super Soldier agreed. “But I’m coming with you.” 

“No way.” Tony protested, his jaw setting. 

“Tony, I’m actually letting you off really easy. You passed out! I could easily force you to Medical, but I won’t. Because I’m going to see you eat with my own eyes.” 

“What, no threat to watch me sleep?” Tony grumbled. 

“Oh, believe me, I have half a mind.” Steve glared. 

“Perv.” Tony huffed, but he made no move to stop when Steve followed him out of the lab. 

They went up to Tony’s personal floor and entered the kitchen.

Tony haphazardly made a sandwich. When Steve saw him reach for the coffee he just stood in front of it, not backing down from the frigid look he got in return. 

He grimaced, eating the sandwich that tasted to him like cardboard, washing it down with the glass of water Steve pushed towards him. 

“Tony.” Steve finally began, breaking the silence. “I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I do. But I want you to know that I’d like to hear more about...everything from your point of view. I’ve realized that’s something I haven’t done, and I’d like to remedy that. When- or if- you’re ready.” 

Tony laughed mercilessly. “You wanna know more about the monster your friend Howard became? You wanna know why I crumbled into a pathetic mess right in front of you? Maybe you’re better off not knowing, Cap. Everything’s back to the way it was, so what does it matter?”

“It matters because things aren’t the same and you know it. It matters because, even though I haven’t acted like it, I’m your friend, and seeing you hurt upsets me. It matters because you haven’t even called me ‘Steve’ since I’ve been back.” 

“Look, against my better judgement, I told your best buddy all about my Dad when we had that talk. You can ask him about it if you want. I’m sure he’ll tell you.” 

Steve shook his head firmly. “I’d rather hear it from you. When or if you’re ready.” 

Silence descended again, and once more Steve broke it. “After I woke up from my time on the ice, I…I had a difficult time. I, uh, didn’t adjust well. I had frequent periods where I couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t really think or focus.” he offered. 

Tony looked up. “Are you saying...Cap, did you have panic attacks?” 

Steve nodded. “Quite a few of them, actually. I didn’t know what they were called at the time, but yes. Losing Peggy and Bucky and everything I’ve ever known all at once was the hardest thing to adjust to. There was too much to comprehend and keep up with, and everyone and everything was different. It took a lot of time. But then- after awhile- it became easier to breathe when I thought of them, when I thought of the life I lost. It didn’t hurt as much, and I had the Avengers and a new life, a good life here. And then back to back I found out Bucky was alive, had been brainwashed and tortured so he barely remembered me, and then Peggy passed away. And all that...that hurt, that fear, it all came back. I knew I couldn’t survive losing everything twice, I couldn’t do it. If I lost Bucky again...He’s the only link I have left to my past, Tony. The only person who still remembers and knows and loves Steve Rogers, the skinny, sick kid from Brooklyn who wasn’t allowed to fight for his country. Before I was a Super Soldier and leader. Before I was ‘Captain America’. My judgement gave way to my fear, just like yours gave way to grief and rage when you saw that tape in Siberia. I’m so sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just terrified of losing everything. I never meant to lose your friendship in place of it.” 

“I couldn’t even go to her funeral.” Tony whispered. 

“Whose?” Steve blinked in confusion.

“Aunt Peggy’s.” 

“What?” Steve looked up in shock. 

“Oh, yeah, Peggy Carter was ‘Aunt Peggy’ to me. She came around as often as she could, always spoiling me with affection whenever she did. She would tell me all about Steve Rogers and Captain America and what he was like, but they never added up to the fearless, brave, war leader my Dad told me about. No, Steve was brave and a good leader, sure, but he was also sweet, charitable, a good person, and a great friend. He had a rebellious streak and didn’t always follow the rules, despite what my father said.” he laughed softly. “When I saw her last, she barely remembered me, but when I mentioned you she lit up. She loved you as you loved her, so I can imagine how hard that must’ve been. But losing your best friend, love, and everything you’ve ever known all at once... I can’t even pretend to imagine what that’s like. And I’m sorry I never really took that into consideration.” 

“Tony, please don’t apologize.” 

“I want you to know that I don’t blame Bucky for anything. He’s safe.” 

“I believe you.” 

“I’m really sorry I took his arm off.” 

“Tony, Siberia was completely out of control. He grabbed at the arc reactor, I totally understand why you retaliated that way.” 

“I just couldn’t handle another-” 

“Tony.” Steve silenced him, placing a hand over his. “I understand. We all had messed up intentions and emotions.” 

Tony nodded. 

“I can’t- I can’t do large bodies of water.” he blurted suddenly. 

Steve just tilted his head curiously, to show he was listening but not pushing. 

“Afghanistan. They were originally paid to kill me, but when they realized who I was and what I was capable of, they changed their minds and performed open heart surgery while I was awake to put in the arc reactor.” 

Steve paled. “You were awake?” 

Tony nodded. “They wanted me to make weapons for them. I refused, so they tortured me. Waterboarded me. Ever since then, I can’t handle large amounts of water; pools or even baths. The feeling of water on my face sometimes even is enough to make me panic.” he paused, a lump forming in his throat. “There was another prisoner there with me. His name was Yinsen. He helped save my life and create the first Iron man suit. He, um, he sacrificed himself to help me escape. I found him, and with his dying breath he told me to not waste my life. I watched him die.” Tony ran his hand across his face harshly. Steve looked at him with a new respect. 

“You know, Tony, one of my fallbacks is that sometimes I forget not everyone on the team is a soldier. But you are a soldier in your own right after everything you went through.” 

“We need the team to be together, Steve.” Tony said softly, tiredly. 

“We can make it work, Tony.” Steve assured him. Then, attempting to lighten the mood, he teased “Don’t think just because you got me talking I’ll forget about you sleeping.” 

Tony managed a small smile. “Alright. Well...thanks, Cap.” he turned in the direction of his bedroom. 

“Um, if you want-” he hesitated. “If you want you can stay here….make yourself comfortable. If you want.” 

“You okay, Tony?” Steve frowned, sensing Tony’s apprehension. 

“Uh, night terrors.” he sighed, knowing at this point he couldn’t regret any more confessions. 

For the millionth time, Steve had the feeling he never really knew the real Tony Stark. 

“I’ll stay right here.” he assured the genius. “I’ll just watch TV. Maybe Friday could alert me if you start having a nightmare?” 

“Sure. Thanks.” Tony rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Don’t mention it. Goodnight, Tony.” 

“Night, Steve.” 

As Tony walked toward the bedroom and Steve turned the TV on, he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time; hope. Maybe there was something to salvage after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there ya have it! Another update in the books! I hope the pacing works, and I have an exciting update: this will still be a slow burn, but not necessarily as slow as I originally thought! ;)  
> No worries, though, there will still be a ways to go in the healing process! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue talk, a call to assemble, helping someone in need, untold truths and dinner with an old friend- Tony Stark's life wasn't slowing down anytime soon, was it?

Tony woke up feeling more rested than he’d felt in a long time. With a jolt of shock he realized he hadn’t had a nightmare. Tony had had a nightmare every time he slept for months, which was one of the reasons he had gone so long without it. His headache had faded to a dull throb at the base of his neck, just begging for even more sleep, to catch up on all that he’d missed.

“Friday?” he asked groggily. 

“It is Saturday the 6th of October, Boss. It is currently 4:17 PM. You have been asleep for 11 hours.” 

“Eleven hours?!” Tony jumped out of bed, groaning when his stiff muscles protested. He showered and dressed and emerged from his room feeling better than he had in months, maybe years.  
But he stopped short when he spotted Steve sitting on the couch. The Super Soldier looked up when Tony entered the room, and his face lit up in a smile.

“You’re up.” he noted. 

“Yeah...why didn’t you wake me? I just slept for 11 hours!”

“You needed it.” Steve countered.

Tony sighed. “You didn’t stay here the whole time, did you?”

Steve shrugged. “Basically. I did leave to shower and get food, but I wanted to be close by just in case. Your couch is very comfortable, by the way.” 

“You...slept here?” Tony asked slowly, trying to process that in his brain. 

Again Steve shrugged. “I technically really only need like 4 hours of sleep thanks to the serum. Anything more than that is just habit or boredom.” 

“Well, uh, thanks.” 

“Tony, it wasn’t a problem. Plus, uh, it gave me time to really look through this.” Steve placed his copy of the newly drafted Accords on the table. 

As always, Tony tensed at the mention of the Accords.

“They’re good, Tony. They’re… really good.” the soldier hurried to assure him. 

“Is there anything I missed?” Tony asked.. “I tried to put in as many safeguards as I could, like you wanted. There’s no more Raft on the table- for anyone- and if a country doesn’t-”

“Tony.” Steve interrupted the rambling genius gently. “It’s okay. Take a breath. These new amendments are so much better, and if we can get everyone on board, I think we can catch every hole there is.” 

Against his wishes, tears rose to Tony’s eyes, and he quickly turned to hide them. 

“Thank you, Cap. That means a lot. I swear... “ he paused, then continued, voice thick with emotion. “I swear I won’t let you down. I won’t let the team down.” 

“Oh, Tony.” Steve sighed. “You didn’t let us down.” 

“I tore the Avengers apart!” Tony cried, his hands curling into fists by his side, 

“Tony, none of us wanted the Avengers torn apart. That was never the issue. The whole problem was circumstances we couldn’t really control, shit going down in everyone’s personal lives, and a problem with communication."

"I just...needed us to be together. And after hearing about the kid I killed, I- I couldn’t just tell 117 countries I wouldn’t listen. I spent...I spent so many years not listening about Stark Industries and making weapons. Hell, I was proud they used to call me the ‘Merchant of Death’. How could I-? I couldn’t go back to that. I want to do better, Cap. I want to be better.” 

“Well the hard work you put into these definitely shows. There’s already such an improvement, and they’re shaping up to be something I can stand behind.” 

“I’m- I can’t tell you how great that is to hear.” 

“I mean it. Now, how about you have something to eat? It’s still-” 

But Steve was interrupted by the sound of both their phones going off. Exchanging a wary glance, they pulled out their phones, as Friday announced: “Sorry, Boss. There’s been a call to assemble.” 

* * * * * 

Fifteen minutes later Tony was in the Iron Man suit, taking a deep breath as he walked to the corner of the lab to retrieve something before meeting up with the Avengers.

“Cap.” he held out what was in his hands and Steve’s breath caught in his throat.

His shield. Tony was giving him his shield back., 

“Oh wow, how kind of you. Giving Cap’s shield back to its rightful owner.” Clint bit out sarcastically. 

Tony flinched but turned away to double check on Rhodey. 

“Clint. Knock it off.” Steve snapped. 

The leader felt the adrenaline and blood pumping through his veins as the familiar weight of his shield in his hand. His joy dampened a fraction when he recalled the last time he’d held his shield. 

‘That shield doesn’t belong to you!’ a beaten and broken Tony had called, laying on the frozen ground alone. ‘My father made you that shield. You don’t deserve it.’ 

Steve felt his heart clench at the memory and his chest tightened uncomfortably when he examined it to see that all the marks on it from that horrible fight in Siberia had been fixed, and it had a fresh coat of paint. Tony had fixed it, despite the fact it had almost killed him. Suddenly Steve didn’t want the shield. 

‘You didn’t deserve it’

He was pulled from his thoughts when someone cleared their throat. He looked up to see Clint, Wanda, Scott, Natasha, and Sam all looking at him expectantly. 

“Guys, we’re on probation until we either sign the Accords or retire, remember? I don’t give orders now.” he frowned. 

Rhodey, Tony, and Vision rejoined the group, and Rhodey filled them in. 

“Alright, so, it looks like someone got the idea from Adrian Toomes-” 

“Who?” Steve asked. 

“Adrian Toomes, otherwise known as the Vulture, stole advanced weapons that were designed to be used against people like us and sold them on the black market. Spiderman alerted us to the problem and he was arrested.” 

“Oh, you mean the teenager Stark let join the Avengers?” Clint leered. 

“He is not an Avenger.” Rhodey silenced him with a glare. “Anyway, it seems as if someone is picking up where he left off. There was someone who notified the FBI but they’re currently being held hostage.” 

“Don’t underestimate these guys. Toomes was a piece of work, and he left Peter with-” 

“He shouldn’t have been involved anyway, Stark!” Sam said uneasily. 

“Hey. Can we all cool it? Now is not the time.” Rhodey interrupted authoritatively.

Without another word they set off towards the warehouse. 

“Iron Man and Falcon, can you be our eyes in the sky?" Rhodey asked. “We need to be sure of what weapons and people are where.” 

“Roger that, Honeybear.” Tony dropped the faceplate and took off, Sam not far behind him. 

“It looks like we’ve got four people on each side of the building, each with their own own pretty lazers. They’re giving off very high energy output, so be careful.” Tony announced. 

A moment later he came back on the comms. “Inside I'm getting heat patterns detecting 25 people. I’ve hacked into security cams. Looks like 7 of them are FBI agents.” 

The mission was relatively simple after that. Iron Man and Falcon distracted the people surrounding the building while Captain America, War Machine and Scarlet Witch took them down. With the enemy distracted, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Ant Man snuck into the building and rescued the FBI agents. 

One of the weapons manufacturers blew up when he attempted to detonate a bomb near Rhodey, but the others were simply arrested. 

“Feel like flying home, Sugarpuss?” Tony asked. 

“You just wanna race again.” Rhodey chuckled. 

“Hey, the suits are my creation. I should be allowed to race them!” 

Rhodey laughed. “Well come on, Mr. Stank! Show me what you got.” 

The two suits flew off, everyone looking off after the streak of red and silver. 

Steve looked at Natasha and saw the almost wistful expression on her face. He knew it hurt her to see Tony and have him so distant. Natasha and Tony had always had a unique relationship- both were sarcastic, protective, and pretended not to care while being the ones who cared most.

Steve knew Natasha still felt guilty for deceiving Tony when they first met, and he knew Natasha secretly had a soft spot for the genius. Natasha loved and cared for everyone in different ways. She and Clint were like brother and sister, her being Auntie Nat to his kids. Natasha showed her love to Steve with her unwavering loyalty and support. With Tony, she had always teased him and gone along with his (non self-destructive) antics. 

Not being involved in those antics clearly hurt her, and again Steve felt guilty that she had sacrificed her friendship with Tony for him. 

“Give him time, Nat.” he told the redhead gently. 

“I’m afraid I used one chance too many.” she told him softly. 

He sighed, nodding and turning his attention to his team. 

“Alright, I think we’re all entitled to a rest. Let’s go home.” 

* * * * * 

“Boss, Mr. Parker is trying to call you.” 

Tony brightened. “Patch him through, Babygirl!” 

“Mr. Stark! Why didn’t you tell me about the guys continuing Toomes’ work?! It’s all over the news! I could’ve helped!”

“Yeah, 'Hello' to you too, Pete.” 

“Sorry Mr. Stark, it’s just- I totally know about the weapons and-” 

“Kid, I’m gonna stop you right there. If you’re working with the Avengers, things change completely. That’s why you turned me down. You’d have to sign the Accords-” 

“Well couldn’t I at least be like a consultant or something?” the teenager whined. 

Tony chuckled. “Sure, kid. I’m sorry, we had limited time and you were in classes as you should be!” 

Peter huffed. “You’ve never cared about my schooling, Mr. Stark.” 

“Okay. Number 1: I am offended by that accusation. Who’s getting you into MIT? Number 2: how many times do I have to tell you to call me Tony?” 

“Sorry Mr. Stark, Tony, Sir! It’s just so weird, I mean you’re Iron Man!” 

“Exactly. Not many people can say they get to call me Tony, so take advantage of it.” 

“Okay, Tony.” Peter said bashfully. “SO oh my god, you’re never gonna believe what happened in Chemistry today!” 

Tony listened to the kid’s excited rambling, taking an interest in the amusing stories of high schoolers with normal or below average intelligence. 

“Hey, Pete. Has the situation with that Flash kid gotten any better?” he asked. 

Peter nervously chuckled. “Well, uh, kinda I guess? Maybe? Not really?” 

“Pete…” 

“It’s okay, Mr. Stark- I mean Tony!- Really, it’s no big deal. It’s just- well see, he doesn’t really believe I’ve met you and know you. Even though I’m an intern.”

“He thinks, what, you’re just making it up?” 

“Um, yeah.” 

“Which class do you have with him again?” Tony asked casually. 

“Um, he’s in my Physics, Chemistry, and Calculus class. But-” 

“Perfect. I think I’ll just set up a time with your Physics teacher to come give a little lecture.” 

“Mr. Stark! Tony! You really don’t have to do that! I-!”

“I know I don’t, Peter. But you’re my kid. And I’m gonna take care of this.” 

“But-” 

“Don't worry, I’m not gonna touch him or threaten him. I’m just going to make sure he knows my kid isn’t a liar.” 

Peter was glad his face wasn’t visible to Tony; he was sure it was as red as a tomato, and had the dopiest grin on it. 

“Th-thanks, Mr- Tony!” 

“Alright, I gotta go, but take it easy, okay?” 

“Bye, Tony!” 

Tony smiled fondly as he ended the call with the teen. 

“You seem to like that kid a lot.” a sudden voice said from behind him. 

Tony jumped. 

“Again? Really, you have no respect for heart conditions.” Tony glared at his visitor. 

The Winter Soldier shrugged. “Sorry, I just learned how to make myself silent. It's a habit now.” 

Tony scowled at that thought. 

“If you like this kid, why’d you bring him into all...this?” James gestured to Tony’s Avengers tech. His tone held no aggression or judgement, only curiosity. 

Tony sighed. “I asked him to join me in Germany because I thought once he stole Cap’s shield, I’d be able to talk sense into all of you.” he laughed bitterly. “If I had known it would’ve ended up an all-out fight, I never would've let him anywhere near Germany. You have to believe me! I never thought all of us would actually physically fight each other! He, uh, had made his own costume out of nothing more than pajamas and was irresponsibly fighting crime with only his...enhancements. I just wanted him to have a suit with more protection so he could be safer- he would do it whether I was in the picture or not! When he put himself in danger, I took the suit away so he wouldn’t get hurt, but the reckless kid just got into more trouble on his own and almost DID die, so I felt like the only way was to make him as safe as possible with my tech! Trust me, I care about that damn kid like he was my own. I would never want him hurt.” 

James sighed. “Man, they really have you figured all wrong, don’t they?” 

Tony didn’t respond, looking pointedly down at his shoes. 

“Anyway, I actually came down here because I think the wires in my new arm have short circuited or something. It’s, uh, shocking me and hurts like hell.” 

“Oh, sure, come on over!” Tony shoved his project to the side and gestured for James to sit in the chair next to him. 

“Ouch, yeah, that looks like it would hurt.” Tony noted sympathetically once he saw the problem. 

With pliers he went in and disconnected the wires. Bucky sighed in relief. 

“So, uh, the arm otherwise works pretty well?” Tony asked. He was very aware of how close he was to Bucky’s metal arm- so like the one that had- 

‘Howard!’ his mother’s scream echoed in his ears. 

Tony closed his eyes tightly, focusing on what James was saying. 

“-can’t believe I can actually feel with it! I mean, not everything, but more than I ever was able to with Hydra’s piece of crap. I can’t thank you enough for all of that.” 

Suddenly the soldier stiffened. 

“Stevie. Stop lurking in the doorway.” he ordered, shooting a concerned glance over at the genius. 

“Sorry.” Steve at least had the decency to look embarrassed at being caught. “I was just trying to find you and- What’s going on?” 

“He’s just helping fix my arm, Stevie.” James sighed. 

“You, uh, trust him enough to do that?” Steve asked. “Not that I don’t or that you shouldn’t, I just- when did you start trusting him? When did you get so close?” he added quickly when Bucky glared and him and Tony grimaced. 

“When he’s the one who made the arm.” the ex-assassin grit out. 

Tony inhaled sharply, shooting Bucky a look. 

Steve’s eyes widened almost comically. “What?”

“Yeah, Princess Shuri made it, but Tony sent her the designs and blueprints.” 

Steve’s gaze went to Tony then. Tony, who, at this moment, looked uncomfortable. 

“Tony, is that true?” the blonde Super Soldier asked quietly. 

Tony could only nod in reply. 

“Why?” Steve breathed.

Suddenly Bucky’s voice was playing from the speaker. 

‘Did you create the schematics for my arm?’ 

“Friday, stop-” Tony shook his head, but the recording of the conversation continued. 

Steve watched Tony closely, frowning when Tony’s voice said ‘You don’t need my charity.’ 

He cringed at Bucky’s harsh admittance to killing the Starks, and his eyes softened when Tony finally whispered ‘It wasn’t you.’

“You really did all that for Bucky?” 

Tony shrugged, still refusing to meet Steve’s eye. 

“It was the least I could do.” 

“But that- Tony, you have no idea what that means to me.” Steve told him earnestly, stepping towards the genius. 

“Yeah, well, now I’m trying to fix it.” 

Tony turned his attention back to Bucky’s arm pointedly. He worked in silence for a bit, both Super Soldiers watching him curiously. 

“Almost done.” he said in a cheery voice that wasn’t too convincing. 

“Tony? Are you okay?” Steve asked, frowning. 

“Yeah, Capsicle.” Tony brushed off the concern, but his mother’s screams were feeling louder and louder. 

Finally he was finished, and he scooted away from Bucky instantly. 

He raised a hand to run through his hair, and both Super Soldiers noticed they were shaking. His breathing was shaky too, and with their acute hearing the two best friends would swear they heard him breathe “Sorry, Mama.” 

“Boss, it is currently 6:42 PM and raining outside. You are in Avengers Compound. Colonel Rhodes is two floors away. Miss Potts is also coming. Her approximate arrival time is 20 minutes.” Friday announced smoothly. 

That got Tony’s attention. “Pep is coming?” 

“Yes, sir. She had something she wished to discuss with you and hoped she could succeed in getting you to ingest something of nutritional value besides smoothies.” 

Tony took a deep breath. “Well, then, I can’t be a mess right now, can I?” he squared his shoulders and straightened up. 

“Tony-” Steve’s frown deepened. 

“It’s fine, Cap.” he turned his attention to James. 

“Let me know if there are any other problems, okay?” 

“Thank you, Tony.” Bucky nodded, his expression sad and guilt-ridden. 

Tony made a quick job of showering and preparing for Pepper’s arrival. He hadn’t seen her in a setting outside of work in a long time- since the breakup, in fact. 

He glowered when he saw how thin he looked, but he even dabbed a little concealer under his eyes to hide the circles, and he emerged feeling better- and more human- than he had in a long time.

He was determined to show Pepper he was a better version of himself, that he was doing well, not falling apart. That he was worthy of her. 

“There she is! The Light of my Life!” he swept into the room. 

Pepper- beautiful, sweet, perfect Pepper Potts- was smiling at him, and everything suddenly felt okay again. 

“Hi, Tony.” she held her arms out and Tony didn’t hesitate, letting himself fall into the hug. His senses were assaulted with her- her perfume. The smell of her shampoo, the silk of her buttondown shirt, the beating of her heart, the strength of her embrace. 

“Hey, Pep.” he breathed, willing the moment to last. He pulled away eventually to get a better look at her. 

“You look stunning as always.” he grinned, kissing her cheek. 

“Thank you.” she replied, though the slight coloring of her cheeks betrayed her. 

“How are things?” he asked seriously. “Are you working too hard? Do you need a break?” He tried not to cringe at his choice of words; they hit a little too close to home. 

“Tony, everything is fine. You’re been more active with the company, which is so helpful. I’m just worried it’s too much for you.” 

“Me? There’s no such thing!” Tony dramatically held a hand to his chest as if the thought wounded him, smirking when Pepper’s musical laugh was the response. 

“Would you like to go to lunch?” she asked. 

“With my best girl and favorite person on the planet? Of course!” 

“Don’t let Rhodes hear that!” she teased. 

“Oh, my Honeybear knows he’s irreplaceable too!” Tony assured her. “But he also knows no one comes close to you. Shall we?” he offered her his arm. 

Pepper’s expression flickered, full of sympathy, longing, fondness, love, and guilt. With a small smile she took his arm. 

“So. How are things going with having the Rogues still around? Is it any better?” she asked once they were seated at their favorite cafe. 

Tony shrugged. “Depends on the day. Let’s not talk about that. It’s silly to waste the little time we have talking about...them.” he waved a hand dismissively. 

Pepper looked at him with concern but allowed the change of topic. They discussed Rhodey and Happy and Pete and caught up on how his projects were going, how Pepper’s friends were. They steered clear of discussing the Avengers or the company, not wanting to discuss work, until Pepper changed topics again. 

“So, Tony, I was thinking about something we could do for you and the company to benefit others, and-” 

“We still donate to all those charities, right?” Tony cut in, alarmed. 

“Of course. But we don’t have one of our own. For you, I mean.” 

“You want to create one for me?” he raised an eyebrow, confused. 

“Stark Industries has always given so much money to charities, scholarships, relief efforts, and we have many charities named after you. But I want to create the Maria Stark Foundation to be the figurehead of our other charities. Think about it, Tony, it could support other young geniuses and underprivileged students! And not only that, it could also supply the other charities of ours- separate charities- and it could-” 

“Pep.” Tony’s strangled voice interrupted her. “You-” 

“I totally understand if it’s too personal for you, I just thought it would be nice. I made these-” Pepper laid out some papers on the table. She’d created a beautiful logo for the charity already, with a touching statement about what it was.

“You did this for me?” he asked in a voice clogged with emotion, his eyes prickling with tears. 

“I thought it would mean a lot to you, and I figured with everything else you could use something to believe in.” 

“Pep, I- Thank you.” a few tears escaped, and Pepper gently wiped them away. 

“I can see through some concealer and frankly bad acting, you know. I can tell you’re struggling. But I also know you won’t stop moving and working. So if you have a cause- this cause- to work at, it might help.” 

Tony nodded. “You know me better than I know myself sometimes.” 

Pepper laughed. “I know. So you want to do it? The Maria Stark-?”

“Carbonell.” Tony interjected softly. 

“What?” 

“The Maria Carbonell Foundation. If that’s okay. For once I don’t want his name attached to it. Just once.” 

Pepper’s eyes softened. “I like that. Consider it done. So I was thinking we should do a gala as a kickstarter event and we can announce what it is, what it’ll be doing, and start fundraising right away.”

“We can serve Italian food at the gala.” Tony’s eyes lit up at the thought of a whole night in his mother’s honor. 

“Absolutely.” Pepper beamed. 

“I love this, Pep.” Tony said, his voice still quiet. “I love you.” 

Pepper’s smile was full of heartbreak, for both him and her, and she barely managed to say “I love you too.” 

“Pepper, I’ve been thinking. What if I focus more on the company; leave the Avengers? It’s not like they need me anyway.” 

“Tony.” Pepper sighed. “No matter what you do, the world needs Iron Man. You need Iron Man. Whether you quit the Avengers or not won’t make a difference. You know that.” 

Knowing she was right, Tony’s head dropped. 

“Honey, look at me.” her voice was gentle and Tony met her gorgeous eyes with his. 

“I know it hurts right now. It totally sucks. I feel it too. But sometimes that’s how it has to be. I completely understand Iron Man, but I was never able to handle him. Tony, I love you too much to be worried that every mission will be the last. That any kiss could be the last. We both deserve better than that. But the important thing is we still love each other and always will. Right?” 

“Always.” Tony nodded in agreement, suddenly feeling much lighter. 

The two friends fell back into easy discussion, both thankful to have each other in any way they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise fast update! Wasn't planning on posting this until tomorrow, but I got very excited to share this chapter with you all!   
> As always, love to hear your thoughts or feedback and I appreciate every single reader!   
> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, Tony struggles, big events occur, he helps his kid, and has a talk with an old friend that may encourage him to keep trying.

As always, Pepper was right. With the new charity in his mother’s name to believe in, Tony found a new purpose. 

He threw himself into the Foundation, scheduling and planning the Gala, making a slideshow of pictures of his mother and other Stark Industries charity work to show at the Gala, and getting workers in charge of every branch at the Foundation. 

He was getting even less sleep than usual (still making time for the other projects), but he felt better than he had in ages.

One night he sat in the lab, working on an upgrade to the suit when Friday interrupted him. 

“Boss? Captain Rogers is outside asking for access.” 

“You can let him in, Babygirl.” Tony allowed, not looking up from his work. 

“Hey, Tony.” The Super Soldier looked a little hesitant, relaxing when the genius waved at him to sit down. 

“What can I do for you, Cap?” 

“I...wanted to apologize.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “For?” 

“For thinking you were the type of person to let someone suffer. I swear, I didn’t mean to insult you when you fixed Bucky’s arm. I know you’re a good person, and I know you have enough sense to know that Hydra brainwashing Bucky wasn’t his fault. But because I was a coward you had to find out in the worst way possible, and I basically left you no choice but to think of him as guilty. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance. Seeing you fix his arm... finding out it was you that made it made me feel like the biggest fool. You’re a better man than I ever gave you credit for, and I’m sorry.” Steve rambled.

Tony looked almost overwhelmed for a moment. 

“So you don’t think I’m a bad person?” he asked finally, sounding confused, his voice quiet.

“God, Tony, no. Not at all.” Steve’s heart twisted. 

“Okay.” the genius said shakily. 

“I understand if it takes you a while to forgive and trust me again. Maybe you never will, I wouldn’t hold it against you. But I’d like to make it up to you. If I could.” 

Tony’s eyes widened as a thought came to him. “Actually, I do have a favor to ask you.” 

“Really?” blue eyes lit up. 

“Yeah. Pepper and I have started a charity and we’re having a gala to kickstart it. It would look good if some of the Avengers came and supported it.” 

“Of course, Tony. I’d be happy to.” 

“If you could get Romanov or any of the others on board that would be so helpful. But, uh, only if they’ll behave themselves. If any of them won’t be able to keep...derogatory comments to themselves, I can’t have them there. This is very important to me, and I just want it to get well.” 

“I understand. I’m really glad, this sounds like a great thing.” 

“It will be.” Tony’s jaw set in determination, his eyes bright. 

Steve smiled, reminded for a moment of a less broken Tony, the Tony who always exuded confidence, who wore humor as a shield and always had a joke for everything. 

“Well, I’ll do whatever I can to help.” Steve offered. 

“Great, thank you.” Tony nodded hesitantly, though Steve could hear the sincerity in his voice. 

“What are you working on?” Steve finally asked, curious. 

“Just an upgrade to the suit. I’ve perfected the Stealth Mode, so it’s updating.” 

“Stealth Mode?” Steve raised an eyebrow. 

Tony smiled with nostalgia. “An old idea from a friend.” 

“Tony. When you, uh, fixed Buck’s arm...it seemed like something was wrong. Are you-” Steve stopped, frowning in frustration. “Of course things aren’t okay, but-” 

“I’m fine, Cap.” Tony’s shoulders rising with tension gave him away. “It was just- that arm- that hand- my mom-” to his horror, Tony’s words were cut off by a harsh sob. He quickly turned away. 

“Tony-” Steve’s voice sounded as rough as Tony’s. 

But the genius cut him off with a harsh bark of laughter. 

“You know, one of the most useful things having Howard as a father taught me was how to hide emotions. ‘Stark men are made of iron’ he’d say. I was even able to suppress shit from Afghanistan. But after the ‘Civil War’” he spat the name bitterly. “I can’t even do that. I guess you can torture me, try to kill me, and I can handle it. But losing almost every single friend I have is what breaks ‘The Great Tony Stark’. Who would’ve thought?” 

“Tony-” Steve tried again. “You didn’t lose us-” 

“Didn’t I?” Tony snorted. “Barton glares daggers at me when I’m in the same vicinity as him- and that’s when he’s not actively cussing me out. Scott made his contempt known. Sam has never liked me. Wanda would like nothing more than to watch me rot. Natasha made it clear how little she thinks of me. Vision is so heartbroken over Wanda that he’s basically not even here. Rhodey is recovering and isn’t the same (though who can blame him?). Ironically, the person at the Compound who seems to tolerate me the most is Barnes!” 

“Tony, everyone was so wrong about so many things. If I’d known how alone I left you... I regret so many things. I know you may not believe me, but I’ll prove it to you. Tony, no one hates you.”   
He winced as he recalled the conversation he’d overheard Wanda and Clint having, realizing he may not have said the truth. “Some haven’t gotten past what happened, but a lot of us-” 

“What? See me fall apart and feel bad and suddenly care? Please, Steve. Spare me. Don’t think I don’t notice Romanov’s puppy eyes that look like she’s just seen her dog get kicked. If I was still good at suppressing my emotions- if I wasn’t so fucking tired- you’d all still treat me like a walking wallet that always gets on your nerves. Let’s not pretend otherwise.” 

“Tony, you were too good of an actor! You never let us get to see any side of you-” 

“That wasn’t built from trauma? Yeah. My godfather- the man who was like a second father to me- literally ripped my heart out. Is it surprising I have trust issues? That I don’t open up to people right away? No, I’m just good for my money and tech! I know that’s the only reason I was on the Avengers team in the first place! But mentoring a child, donating to so many charities I had to build one giant charity to be the head of them all, trying to help people as Iron Man isn’t enough to overshadow my past mistakes and public image?” Tony asked, running a hand down his face. “I’m so tired, Steve. I’m just so tired of it. I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t.” 

“Do what?” Steve swallowed. 

Finally Tony met his eyes, his voice almost a whisper as he confessed. “Any of it.” 

Steve’s stomach dropped. “You mean-”

The shorter man laughed hollowly, dismissing the unfinished question. “I’m not suicidal, Cap. Don’t you worry your Patriotic ass off about that. Been there, done that, got over it. There are other things to worry about.” his voice almost broke over the half-lie.

“You- Tony.” Steve breathed, his head falling and eyes squeezing shut in dismay. 

“Steve, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the Avengers are together to help people. That we can work-” 

“You’re wrong. It does matter. You matter.” 

“Funny, you weren’t saying that when you were slamming that shield into my chest.” 

Steve cringed and Tony sighed. 

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I get- I understand why you- I don’t blame you, okay? And I promise I understand that Bucky didn’t kill my parents. I do. But it- it still hurts. I don’t want it to, but it does. I- I had to watch-” 

Tony stopped, barely keeping the tears at bay. 

Suddenly he was wrapped in a tight, warm embrace, and his senses were overwhelmed with Steve. The beard tickled his forehead, and Tony could feel how warm the Super Soldier was.

Tony stiffened for a moment before he hesitantly lifted his arms to return the hug. Soon both men were clutching each other tightly. Apologies, assurances, and understanding were communicated through the silent embrace. 

“Tony?” Steve finally pulled away “Can we promise to keep being this honest with one another? I don’t want to hurt you again, I don’t want to fight.” 

“Me either.” Tony said, his features suddenly flushed with exhaustion. 

Steve chuckled softly, seeing the glassiness in the genius’ eyes.

“You should get some rest, Tony.” 

“But I have-” 

“It’s 3 in the morning, Tony.” 

“What?” Tony looked at him in surprise. “Then why are you up?” 

Steve shrugged. “Serum, remember?” 

Tony nodded. “I don’t think I could fall asleep right now.” 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Steve asked. “It may relax you.” 

“Why not.” Tony agreed.

When they reached Tony’s apartment level, Tony turned to the soldier. 

“What do you want to watch?” 

“I heard I needed to see a movie called The Princess Bride?” 

“Classic.” Tony nodded his approval. 

The two men went up to Tony's penthouse and crashed on the sofa, and within 20 minutes of the movie starting, Tony was fast asleep. Steve smiled softly, fondness for the billionaire washing over him. 

Carefully he put a blanket over the smaller man. 

After making sure Tony was settled he turned his attention back to the film, and soon he was swept up in the story. 

As Buttercup pushed Wesley down the hill, Tony suddenly gasped, shooting up and making Steve jump 

“Tony?” 

But Tony was lost in a sleep terror. His gaze was distant, sweat beading on his face, the smaller man trembling like he was on vibrate. 

“Tony.” Steve said more firmly. “Tony, you’re alright.” 

“Please don’t.” The genius’ voice was small and desperate. “Leave me alone. Please. Stop!”

“Sir, it is currently 3:52 in the morning. The weather is at 65 degrees, and currently it is clear with very little chance of precipitation.” 

“J-Jarvis?” Tony’s gaze became a tad more focused, his tone laced with a bit of confusion.

“It’s Friday, Boss.” 

Tony flinched. “Sorry! I’m sorry, Babygirl.” 

“Boss, you are experiencing-” 

“I- I know, Fri.” Tony shuddered.

“Tony?” Steve asked hesitantly. 

Tony jumped, flinching away from Steve. Steve went to reach out for him, and Tony scrambled further away. 

“Don’t- please don’t. Steve, please-” the billionaire hunched over, cradling his chest protectively. 

Heart clenching painfully in his chest, Steve slowly and carefully knelt down in front of the terrified man. 

“Tony, it’s okay.” he felt his heart crack when his friend flinched at the sound of his voice. “Tony, I swear I won’t hurt you. I promise. You’re okay. Everything’s alright.” 

Tony stilled a little, hesitating, and Steve seized the opportunity. He inched a little closer, taking it as a good sign that Tony only eyed him warily in response. 

“I promise you I will not hurt you. You have my word. I want to help you, Tony. I only want to help. It’s okay. You’re safe.” Steve made his voice as soothing and reassuring as possible, and something in Tony cracked. 

Without warning he launched himself at the Super Soldier. 

Steve let out a soft “Oomph!” as his arms were suddenly full of quivering genius. It took him only a second until he squeezed the genius back tightly, careful not to crush him with his enhanced strength. 

“I’ve got you. You’re safe.” he repeated himself until Tony’s quivering subsided. 

“Steve.” Tony broke the silence after a long time. 

“I’m right here.” the soldier assured him. 

But then his brain could barely process the feeling of soft lips against his before it short-circuited. 

The only thing he could feel was Tony; how soft his lips were, how tightly and desperately he held on to Steve, how good he smelled. 

He was just beginning to relax into the kiss and reciprocate when Tony stiffened and pulled away, his eyes wide with fear and horror. 

“Oh my god. Steve. I’m so- oh my god I’m so sorry-” he scrambled away too quickly for Steve to catch him, even with Super Soldier reflexes. 

“It’s okay, Tony.” Steve stood.

“No it’s not! I just basically molested you! Oh my god!” his hands anxiously ran through his hair as he repeated “I’m sorry” over and over again as he ran to his bedroom. 

“Tony!” 

“Captain Rogers, I’m afraid Boss is quite distressed, and your continued presence isn’t helping matters.” Friday stated. 

“I don’t care. I can’t leave him.” Steve’s jaw set stubbornly. 

“Perhaps I could relay a message for you when Boss is more coherent?” she tried again. “I really do believe it would calm him down if you left.” 

“Fine.” Steve grit out. 

“Recording now.” 

“Uh, Tony? Please don’t be upset? I really don’t care that you, uh, kissed me. I was just taken aback, I swear. More than that, I...liked it? I guess I never knew you cared about me so much.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to form words? It’s not working as you can probably tell. Look, I know we’ve always had a rocky- I mean we’ve- we got off on the wrong foot, right? And ever since we’ve been fighting to get over that, and everything else that’s in the past, but...Tony, I really care about you. I haven’t always acted like it or shown it, but what you just- Tony, that kiss...I’d like a re-do. If you would, I mean. I didn’t even get to kiss you back. I’d really, uh, like to rectify that. But if I’m misreading this, you need only say so and I promise it’ll be like it never happened. I can’t promise I wouldn’t be disappointed, but I swear I’ll respect that choice. God, Tony, I just want to hold you right now. Please let me in. I don’t want you to be scared of me. It’s breaking my heart and making me realize how much you mean to me. Your safety matters more, though, so I’ll go. But when you listen to this- when you’re ready...please come to me. Be safe, Tony. Please.” 

Having said what he could, the Super Soldier cast one last cursory glance at the door before slowly making his way to his own floor, his head and heart reeling with too much to take in. 

* * * * * 

Tony woke up with a pounding headache. He blamed the meltdown that had exhausted him to the point of sleeping through the night. He felt his whole body flush with mortification as the events from the night before came back to him. 

“Morning, Boss. It is currently 10:49 in the morning. Shall I run you through your itinerary for the day?” 

“Yes, thank you, Babygirl.” Tony still felt guilty over asking for Jarvis during his meltdown. 

“First, may I suggest listening to Captain Roger’s recorded message?” 

A lump formed in Tony’s throat. He knew it was cowardly, but he didn’t think he could handle hearing Steve’s rejection, not just yet. No doubt it would be gentle and kind, as only Steve could make it. But he couldn’t stomach hearing it then. Still, his mind was transfixed on the feeling of kissing his childhood hero and fear. 

“Not right now, Fri. Maybe later.” 

Pushing on, he got ready for the busy day ahead of him.

Having slept halfway through the S.I meeting, he conferenced in once he was showered and dressed in a suit, then made another few important calls. After that he had a meeting with the Avengers for the ratified Accords. 

As he entered the meeting room he ignored the looks and took a seat next to Rhodey. 

“Hi, Tony.” Steve greeted, his timid expression an unusual look for him. 

“Hello, Rogers.” Tony replied cordially. After some soul searching that morning, Tony had figured the safest and healthiest option for both men was to pretend nothing had happened. 

Steve seemed crestfallen, his whole face dropping, the opposite reaction from what Tony was expecting. Before he could wonder why, the meeting started, and all thoughts- well, almost all thoughts- of Steve faded. 

Surprisingly, most of the Rogue Avengers were warming up to the newest draft of the Accords. Steve, Nat, Vision, Sam, Rhodey, Bucky, and even Scott were on board. Only Wanda and Clint put up a fuss, which didn’t surprise Tony in the least. 

As the meeting came to an end, Steve came around the table. 

“Tony? Can we talk?” The genius had never seen the Super Soldier look so nervous before. 

Tony sighed. “Sure. If this is about-” 

“Boss, don’t forget your appointment at Peter’s school. I fear with traffic you may be late.” 

“Oh, right!” Tony brightened at the prospect of seeing Peter. “Sorry, Cap, gotta run and pick the kid up. Talk later, yeah?” 

He was incredibly excited to put his kid’s bully in his place. He made it to the school in nearly record time a little early, though Tony thought a part of that was his AI. 

“Did you make up the traffic story to help me avoid Rogers, you clever girl?” he asked in awe. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Friday denied anything. 

“Love you too, baby.” Tony grinned. 

The woman at the front desk was starstruck and blushed crimson when Tony laid on the charm, winking and calling her ‘darling’ as he asked for directions to the presentation room.

He knocked on the open door to announce his presence. 

“Ah, yes! Class, here’s your special treat for the day! Tony Stark is here to talk to the Junior Class today about your future options pursuing Physics, Engineering, or anything related to those fields! Please, come in Mr. Stark!” the teacher’s face was also flushed pink as Tony sauntered in. 

“Hello, everyone.” he greeted. “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t make this boring.” 

The students laughed. 

“I must admit, my intern Peter over here is the reason I’m here. He inspired me to interact with the other younglings in his grade who will be figuring out life outside of high school before they know it!” 

Tony almost chuckled as Peter turned red as a beet and everyone else’s jaw dropped. 

“Isn’t that right, Pete?” 

“Y-Yeah, Mr. Stark.” 

“How many times do i have to tell ya, Pete? Mr. Stark is my old man. Call me Tony! I have to stay young and ‘hip’ somehow, right?”

The kids laughed, even Peter. 

“So, anyhow, thanks to Mr. Parker here I’m gonna tell you all about how things could go in the future if you play your cards right. But first, who of you are seriously considering going into a field related to Engineering or Physics? Be honest, I won’t be sad, I promise!” 

Quite a few hands were raised in the air. 

“Pete, put your hand down, kiddo, I obviously know you are!” Tony laughed. 

The kid next to Peter laughed and Peter blushed again, hissing “Shut up, Ned!” 

“Ah!” Tony brightened. “Is this the Mr. Leeds I’ve heard so much about?” 

Now Ned’s eyes grew as large as saucers and Peter was now the one laughing. 

“Nice to finally meet ya, Ned! Fist bump (are the kids still doing that now?)” 

Everyone giggled, and Ned looked like he may combust as he fist-bumped the billionaire. 

“So keep those hands up! That’s a pretty good number! So does anyone have any specific questions before I start on my spiel?” 

One student kept his hand raised.

“Sir, my name is Flash, and I was just curious how to-”

But Tony had tuned the question out. His hand that was on Peter’s shoulder tightened a fraction. 

Peter cringed, but not from pain. He hardly breathed as Tony spoke again. 

“Ah! Mr. ...Flash, is it?” he asked. “Well, to answer your poorly worded question, it is always good to have a well-rounded set of extracurriculars for applications. Like Pete here, who has Band, Academic Decathlon, the Stark Industries Scholarship...I’m afraid 1 usually doesn’t cut it. They might suspect you’re just trying to show off while spending the rest of your time throwing lame parties no one really enjoys. Or bullying others.” Tony’s cold eyes met the teen’s, his message clear. After a brief pause for the message to sink in, he smoothly moved along. “Just as an example, of course. So my advice to you all about applications-” 

Satisfied with Flash’s embarrassed expression (wide eyes, red cheeks, gaping mouth), the engineer moved on to actual tips for the students. They ate it up, starstruck by the billionaire’s presence, desperate to hear what he had to say. 

“Well thank you, Mr. Stark, for taking the time to come here for us today!” the teacher finally said when class was almost over. 

“Students, be sure to thank Mr. Stark. And don’t forget to work on your projects over the weekend- they’re due next Wednesday, so don’t procrastinate! Have a great weekend!” 

Right on time the bell rang, and all the students rushed away, all swarming past Tony to thank him or be near him. When the crowd had thinned out, Tony moved to Peter’s desk. 

“You ready to go, kid?” he grinned. 

“S-sure, Mr. S- Tony!” Peter replied, still bright red from all the attention. 

After Tony signed him out at the office they headed back to the Compound, Peter non stop laughing over Flash’s face. 

“Mr. Stark I’ve never seen that expression on him!” he was almost crying laughing. “He loves you so much and you just Shut. Him. Down.” 

Tony beamed proudly, happy he could help his kid and once again reminded that Peter- young, innocent, wholesome Peter- was one of the few people who made Tony feel like he was doing something right. 

The sudden desire to always have the kid close so he could protect him and help him washed over him, but Tony squashed the mostly selfish desires down. 

He was drawn out of his thoughts by Peter’s hesitant question of “So, how are the rest of the Avengers?” 

“They’re good. About the same as usual.” he assured the teen. 

Peter frowned. “Are they being nice?” he pressed. 

Tony shrugged. “I guess? I don’t see them much, really. Honestly, kid, I’m fine.” 

There was a moment of silence before Peter quietly asked “Tony, do you know why I admire you so much? Why I applied for every scholarship and internship?” 

Tony cocked his head, silently indicating the boy to continue. 

“You, uh, probably don’t remember, but I went to a Stark Expo years ago, and all the Hammer Drones-” 

“You were there for that?” Tony asked in disbelief. “You must’ve been-” 

“Young? Yeah. There was a little boy there dressed as Iron Man and one of the drones landed in front, and-” 

“And the kid held his hand up. I landed behind him, shot the drone with a repulsor and told the kid ‘Nice work’.” Tony recalled. “You were there for that?” he repeated incredulously. 

“Mr. Stark, that kid WAS me.” 

Tony’s head whipped around to look at him. “What?” 

“You saved my life that day, Mr. Stark.” Peter smiled. “I always admired your intellect, but after that, well...you’re my hero.” he shrugged, his cheeks slightly colored from the confession. 

The genius billionaire was lost for words. He cleared his throat, but his voice was thick when he said “Kid, I- my Dad wasn’t the greatest Dad in the world. And I won’t lie, I don’t feel qualified to be responsible for you. But- I’ll do anything in my power to be better than my- than Howard.” 

“You already are, Tony.” the teen smiled. 

“Thanks, Pete.” was all Tony could muster, his heart suddenly so much lighter. The first stop when they reached the Compound was the kitchen. 

“What can I make you for an after school snack, Underoos?” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Anything is fine, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony pulled out some apple slices and peanut butter, pushing it towards the enhanced teenager while grabbing a mug to make coffee for himself.

“By the way, don’t think I didn’t hear your teacher mention a project.” he raised an eyebrow at his protogee. “Due next Wednesday, was it?” 

“Mr. Stark, I already finished it!” Peter whined. “Like a week ago!” 

Tony looked for any signs the teen was lying, and, finding none, he agreed to drop it. 

Instead they talked science, coming up with upgrades to Peter’s suit.

They were so caught up in the conversation they didn’t notice they had company until the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them. 

Nat and Steve were standing in the doorway, looking unsure and amused. 

“Hi, Tony.” Natasha greeted. “Hello again, Peter.” 

“Hi, Miss Black Widow.” Peter greeted awkwardly, his eyes flickering to his mentor. 

“Well, come in.” Tony decided, waving the two into the kitchen. 

Cautiously the two took seats at the counter next to the teenager and his mentor. 

“How did the presentation at school go?” Steve asked finally. 

Peter beamed. “So good!” 

“Kid, it wasn’t a presentation. I-” 

“Oh, please, they loved you! And Mr. Stark took care of this guy who gives me a hard time- Flash’s face was perfect. It was like Christmas came early!” Peter giggled, and none of the adults could stop themselves from smirking at the boy’s enthusiasm.

“I’m glad.” 

“So you’re from Queens?” Steve asked. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“And you’re...enhanced?” 

Peter shrugged. “Weird spider bite.” 

“Yeah, I could see how strong you were in Germany.” the Super Soldier complimented.

“I just wanted to help people.” Peter said, blushing. 

“Then as long as you’ve got heart, that’s what matters.” Steve smiled. 

“Thanks.” if it was possible, Peter turned even more red, now resembling a tomato. 

“Maybe we could train together sometime?” the blonde offered. “I don’t really have anyone that matches my strength except Buck, so it gets a little...predictable.” 

“Are you serious?” the wide-eyed teenager was almost on the brink of passing out. “Captain America just asked me to spar with him!” 

Steve chuckled. “Sure, kid. Anytime.” 

Peter was so excited he was almost vibrating in his seat. 

“Kid, why don’t you just ask if he’s available now?” Tony laughed softly. “What do you say, Cap?” 

“I say that I’m going to change and I can meet you in the gym in 10 minutes.” the soldier grinned. 

“Aw man, it’s officially the coolest day of my life!” the student beamed, jumping up. 

Then he stopped. “Mr. Stark, can we do the upgrade tomorrow or something?” 

“Sure, kid.” Tony gave him a fond smile. “Go have fun, let off some steam.” 

Peter stopped, frowning. “You aren’t gonna come watch?” 

“Nah, I’ve got some other projects I should probably work on. I’ll just let you and Cap get to know each other, but I’ll have Friday show me the best bits later.” 

“Okay!” Peter hurried off to change, and Steve watched Tony for a moment before following the exuberant youth. 

Tony looked after the two of them, an unidentifiable emotion twisting in his gut. He knew Peter couldn’t be any safer than he was with Captain America, and he knew Steve wouldn’t actually hurt Peter. It actually would probably be beneficial for the kid to learn from someone whose physical attributes were similar. 

“Tony?” Natasha’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts. 

“Hmm?” Tony turned his attention to the beautiful assassin. 

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly. 

Tony fixed her with his dazzling press smile. “Always. Anything I can do for you, Ms. Romanov?” 

Natasha shook her head. 

Tony turned to leave, but was interrupted by the assassin. 

“Tony-”

“Yes?” the engineer raised an eyebrow. 

“I-” she frowned, pausing to collect her thoughts. Finally her head dropped almost in defeat. “I miss you.” she settled with. 

Tony sighed. “Nat-” 

“I never wanted to choose anyone’s side.” Natasha said quickly. “I-

“You think *I* wanted to choose a side?” Tony bristled. “I just wanted us all to stay together! To work together! And now I’m the one who ‘ripped the Avengers apart’!” 

“I didn’t mean to make you think Steve was right or meant more-” 

Tony scoffed. “Oh, please. Let’s not pretend. We all know Captain America is Mr. Perfect. Even when he’s wrong, he’s right. And you’re one of his best friends.” 

“Tony.” the redhead took a step towards the man. “He wasn’t going to stop. I know Steve. He was too desperate to help Bucky, he wasn’t thinking straight!” 

“Oh, I’m well aware.”

“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” she whispered. 

“And how did that work out?” Tony asked coolly. “Last time I checked Rhodey was paralyzed. Bucky lost an arm.” 

The usually stoic spy flinched. "And your chest-"

“I just have one question for you, Nat. Did you know too?” 

“Yes.” Natasha answered, not attempting to insult his intelligence when she knew what he was asking. “We both found out together, and he begged me to let him be the one to tell you when he was ready.” 

“And you just let it be a secret for years?” Tony stepped towards her. “She was my Mom! And because you and Steve couldn’t trust me I had to watch her murder. I had to hear her die!” 

The genius would’ve been mortified to realize how close he was to tears, but they stopped short when he saw tears streaming down the Black Widow’s face. 

“I’m so sorry, Tony.” her voice was hoarse. “There’s no excuse, and I hope one day you can at least believe me when I say I’m sorry, whether you forgive me or not. You deserve better than what   
you’ve gotten. And I just needed you to know that I’m so grateful for everything you did and continue to do for us. And I really do miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Nat.” Tony admitted quietly. He was tired of denying and lying about his feelings. “I miss all of you. I miss the way things were. I miss being a part of something. But all we can do is try. Right? We can try to be a team again and go from there.” 

Natasha nodded. 

Gently, Tony lifted a hand, softly brushing a stray tear from her cheek. 

“I need time, Nat.” he whispered.

“Tony.” Natasha wrapped her arms around him. “It’s okay. You don’t owe me- or anyone- an explanation. You just take as much time as you need. I- no- WE’LL be there.” 

“Thanks, Tash.” Tony kissed the top of her head, exiting for the door. 

“Oh, and Tony?” Nat called. “I was wrong all this time. Iron Man? Yes. Tony Stark? A necessity.” 

Tony couldn’t find an adequate response to that, so the genius simply gave her a nod, putting his sunglasses on as he left, feeling like a little piece of himself had clicked back into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update for you all!   
> Tony is still struggling but starting to realize where he is treatment-wise! And Steve is having revelations of his own! 
> 
> Thank you for your reading and support- I've recently gotten some less-than-favorable comments regarding the "Team" I side with in Civil War. I hope I was relatively clear stating this is a more Tony-sided fic while bearing no actual hate towards Team Cap.   
> I welcome all constructive criticism and future ideas, but hope I was clear enough in my tags to specify that if you are a Tony Stark hater this fic will not be for you,
> 
> This is my first fic in this fandom. Tony Stark is my comfort character, and, that being said, I am so grateful for every reader and supporter of this fic, and if there are specific feedback or wishes for future chapters I love to hear them! 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gala has arrived, and all Tony can hope is that it will go off without a hitch. But knowing his luck, that's never a guarantee.

Tony’s breath caught when he got a glimpse of Pepper. She looked absolutely breathtaking in a deep purple floor-length gown. 

“You.” Tony sauntered over to her, getting close to murmur in her ear. “Are the most stunning woman I have ever seen.” 

Pepper beamed at him, her cheeks tinting a light shade of pink. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” she reached up to straighten his tie. “Are you ready for this?” she asked. 

“More than.” Tony told her. “Tonight’s for my Mom.” 

Pepper kissed his cheek. “And for you.” 

“Shall we?” Tony offered her his arm. 

She took it, grinning. 

The two met Happy outside. Though Tony had insisted Happy join them as a guest, Happy in turn insisted on also being chauffeur, like old times. 

The grin on Tony’s face only grew when he saw how great the venue looked; all the lights strung up, the tables adorned with bouquets of his mother’s favorite flowers. 

For a while, Tony mingled, thanking everyone for coming and charming his way around the room. 

Pepper asked for a martini, and Tony made his way over to the bar, being stopped every few feet. He gave the bartender his order, leaning against the bar. 

“Tony.” a familiar voice said from beside him. 

Tony turned, and his heart crawled into his throat. 

Steve Rogers was wearing a suit. 

Captain Goddamn America was wearing a freaking suit. 

“Hey there, Cap.” Tony finally managed to greet him, fearing the Super Soldier would be able to hear his racing heart with his advanced hearing. “You certainly clean up well.” 

The blonde blushed softly. “So do you, Tony. A tux really suits you.” 

“Thank you for coming tonight. It, uh, means a lot, and I know it would mean a lot to my father too.” 

Steve smiled, a touch of sadness and nostalgia behind it. 

“I know people are just mingling around right now, but soon people will be asked to take their seats. I put you and the rest of the Avengers at the table right next to the one Pep and I are at with the chair members, in front of the stage.” 

“Thanks, Tony.” Steve smiled, watching the genius with an unreadable expression. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Tony asked. 

“I'll just have what you’re having. Thanks.” Steve replied. 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Scotch?” 

Steve shrugged. “Drinks don’t really affect me anyway. But, yeah, Scotch is not my favorite. Maybe just an Old-Fashioned. No jokes, please.” the Super Soldier shot him a cheeky grin. 

Tony laughed, catching the joke and Steve smirked, pleased he’d elicited an actual laugh from the man. 

“Let it be noted you do have a sense of humor.” Tony acknowledged, waving the bartender over. The bartender arrived with Pepper’s and Tony’s drinks, and Tony ordered Steve’s drink, passed the bartender some cash and told Steve “See you around, Cap.” before heading off to find where Pepper had wandered off to. 

After talking with many more reporters and bigwigs, the announcement for the people to take their seat was played. 

Pepper lay a supportive hand on his shoulder, and Tony knew it was only all the cameras and the imminent threat of “Back Together?!” tabloid headings that kept her from kissing his cheek. 

“Go get em’.” she smiled. 

Tony plastered the charming media smile he’d perfected by the age of 7 on his face as he made his way to the stage, but his excitement and honesty made the smile more authentic. 

“Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you all for taking the time to come out tonight. I’m so humbled, excited, and proud to announce to you all the kickoff of the Maria Carbonell Charity Foundation! Now, as most of you know, Maria Carbonell- more commonly known to the public as Maria Stark- was my mother, and she was the most giving and beautiful person, and in general the best woman I’ve ever met. And thanks to the other perfect woman in my life; Miss Potts, as well as countless others, I start this charity in her name. But we’ll get to specifics later. For now, please enjoy your food- these are all of my mother’s favorite dishes, and her special recipes.” 

Grinning, the genius rejoined his table as the waiters filtered out, filling the tables with delicious-smelling Italian food. 

Tony was amazed how similar it smelled to his mother’s cooking, and he couldn’t help the tears that rose to the surface when he took his first bite, thousands of memories assaulting him all at once. 

“Tony?” Pepper lay a concerned hand on his. 

“I’m fine.” he waved her off. “Sorry, it’s just- it’s exactly like hers, and I haven’t- I mean I couldn’t ever make it myself, it was atrocious. This is so good.” he smiled. 

Pepper’s gaze softened. “I’m glad it’s like hers.” 

Before anyone knew it, the meal was winding down. 

Tony made his way back to the stage. 

“I hope everyone enjoyed their meal. Before we get into the nitty gritty of what the foundation is and what its purpose is, I feel you should know a little more about Maria Carbonell. Maria Carbonell was born on October 17th, 1940.” Tony hit the button to start a slideshow. “She was born to an Italian family, if you couldn’t tell by her last name.” he chuckled. Black and white photos of his mother cycled through the screen. 

“Despite coming from an Italian family, her immediate family was very small. My mother was...incredibly smart. She loved cooking and had a talent for the piano (she was very musically gifted). When she was 25, she met and fell in love with my dad. Now, as most you know, my father was well known for being a womanizer- I mean, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess.” 

The audience chuckled at Tony’s self-deprecation.

“But my mother was such a beautiful soul that she almost immediately stole my father’s heart. She was so pure of heart-so angelic- that she got Howard Stark to marry her. After meeting her, he never went back, he was as devoted to her as she was to him.” 

A picture of his parents on their wedding day came up; Maria in a gorgeous, lacy, long-trained white dress, smiling up at a beaming, well-dressed Howard Stark. 

“Five years later, I was born.” the slideshow changed to a picture of a worn-out but beaming Maria holding an infant Tony. 

The audience “aww-ed” at the baby picture and Tony chuckled. 

“She fought hard to name me Anthony. She would secretly call me Antonio sometimes, but for the most part she called me “Bambino”. Her baby.” Tony paused, emotion momentarily choking him up. 

“She used to teach me some Italian. She would help me learn the basics of the piano before I lost interest and started tinkering in Dad’s shop. She always used to ask how school was, how my grades were. I remember her fighting my father tooth and nail when he suggested I skip a few grades. She insisted I needed to socialize with people my age, even if I breezed through school. But me and my father insisted. I graduated MIT at 17, and though I don’t regret that, I always wondered if she was right. God knows I was a handful as a child. Raising me couldn’t have been easy. But she was always patient, always supportive and loving. My father was always away, running his company, traveling- you all know. Our butler Edwin Jarvis and his wife Ana helped raise me. But I always had my mom. I always had her soft voice, her laugh, her touch. She played Mediator in my father and I’s...complicated relationship. She always made sure that, despite our struggles, I knew my father loved me and he knew I loved him. She spent most of her life caring for others. She took care of almost everyone she knew. So to follow in her legacy, the Maria Carbonell Foundation will be an organization that acts as a Parent Organization for all other charities affiliated with Stark Industries. To explain this more, please welcome Andrew Reynolds, Board Member. But first, a toast.” 

Tony raised his glass of champagne and everyone else followed suit. 

“Mom, this one’s for you. Thank you-” he cleared his throat, not even fighting the shine over his eyes even cameras could catch. “Thank you for everything. Your bambino couldn’t have done it without you. I love you and miss you always. To Maria Stark.” 

“To Maria Stark.” the room chorused. 

“Thank you.” Tony said with a hand over his heart as he exited the stage. 

The rest of the evening passed by with some presentations and information on the charity. Tony beamed, seeing the donation numbers already climbing.

The mood in the venue was hopeful and happy and light, and Tony couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so content and happy. 

At the end of the evening, he took to the stage one last time, his smile sparkling. 

“That concludes the evening, folks! I can’t thank you all enough for coming and donating tonight! This is a cause near and dear to my heart, and I can’t wait to see all the good it will do, with all of your incredible support!” 

“Mr. Stark!” someone shouted. “If your mother means so much to you, why is her killer here tonight?” 

Instantly, the room gasped collectively, and Tony froze.

“I don’t know what you mean.” he said calmly, but his rigid, tense posture betrayed him.

“James “Bucky” Barnes- the Winter Soldier.” 

Tony’s eyes flew over to the Avengers table. Steve’s eyes were sparkling with anger, his jaw was clenched, and he had an arm around Bucky.

Bucky looked mortified. His eyes were wide with fear and humiliation, darting around, looking for any sign of a threat. Or an exit. The poor man looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. 

Squaring his shoulders, Tony cleared his throat, preparing himself.

“The only James Barnes I know is a War Hero, a best friend to Steve Rogers, and above all a good man. HYDRA was responsible for my parent’s death, so before trying to cause any backlash or start any gossip let me make one thing perfectly clear; if you dare to insult my parent’s memory or tarnish a War Hero and Prisoner of War's reputation like that again, you will have ME to deal with. To the rest of you, thank you and have a good night.” he stepped off the stage, as cool and confident as always. 

Pepper lay a hand on his arm. “Tony-”

“It’s okay.” Tony gave her his most reassuring smile. “I’m fine.” 

Tony bid the stragglers goodbye, taking photos with some of the Avengers and other guests for the press. 

The ride home was quiet however. Pepper was still upset and concerned, no matter how many times Tony insisted (truthfully) that it was okay. 

“Seriously, Pepper-Pot. Nothing could bring me down after a successful night like that!” he promised, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he exited the limo. 

The second he entered the Compound, the Avengers pounced. 

“That fricking reporter!” 

“Thank you, Tony-” 

“I’m sorry-” 

Tony held a hand up to silence them. “I’m only gonna say this once-” 

“I shouldn’t have come.” Bucky’s soft, hoarse voice interrupted him. 

Tony looked at him curiously. 

“I didn’t deserve to be there. I wasn’t gonna go but Steve said for PR-” 

“I’m glad you were there.” Tony told him. “You deserved to know what my mother was like. Because she would’ve liked you. All of you. She would’ve treated all of you like her adoptive kids.” Tony fixed his gaze on James. “The only person left to forgive you is you. It wasn’t your fault. I know how hard it is to forgive yourself for past mistakes and crimes. But it’s okay to let go. It’s the only way to move on.” he hesitantly lay his hand on the man’s shoulder. “You deserve peace more than any man I’ve ever met. I’m glad you came tonight, and I want you to know I meant every word I said up there.” he turned his attention back to the group. “Thank you all for coming. I know we all still have our problems, but it means a lot to me that you were there, no matter the reason. Have a good night.” he waved as he walked off, the Avengers parting ways to head to their floors. 

“Tony! Wait up!”

He turned to see Steve jogging after him, still dressed in that godforsaken suit.

“Yeah, Cap?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow when Steve only stood there, panting lightly, watching him. 

“Did you need som-” but he was quickly silenced by Steve’s lips on his own. 

Steve kissed him hungrily, desperately, taking advantage of Tony’s gasp to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue inside to map Tony’s mouth. 

Tony lost himself in the kiss, whimpering softly when Steve drew him closer, one hand around his waist, the other coming up to cradle his face. Tony’s arms wrapped around Steve’s torso to clutch his shoulder, and Steve let out a soft growl, suddenly pushing Tony backward, stopping only when the genius was pressed against the wall. 

Tony’s soft whimpers and moans only urged Steve on, and it was only the necessity for oxygen that tore them apart.

“What was that?” Tony panted. 

“Did you mean what you said.” the Soldier demanded. 

“Every word.” he whispered in reply.

With a wounded, desperate noise Steve lunged, kissing the breath out of Tony again, making Tony weak in the knees. Only Steve’s strong arms kept him upright, and he clutched onto Steve desperately. 

Once they’d pulled apart again, Tony said quietly. “Well, I guess now we’re even.” 

“What?” Steve froze. 

“I kissed you a week ago. Now you kissed me.” 

“Tony, I-” 

“Steve, I know how much Bucky means to you. But you really don’t have to thank me for supporting him. I know my initial response was totally wrong and unforgivable, but you were right. I was being honest, I know he’s not to blame. You don’t have to thank me-”

“I wasn’t thanking you.” Steve blurted. Then he blushed as he admitted “Well, okay, I was also, but-” 

“So we’re even.” Tony shrugged, his voice soft. 

“I didn’t mean THAT, Tony. That wasn’t all that was.” Steve pleaded. 

“Really, Rogers?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever noticed that you only seek out my company when I’ve done something for your other half?” 

Steve’s blood ran cold as he realized with horror that the man was right. 

“Tony.” he begged. 

“You may want to think about why that is.” Tony walked away. “But Steve?” he paused. 

Steve looked up hopefully, watching the Stark son’s retreating figure. 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update for everyone!   
> I wanted to thank everyone for their encouragement and support, and I hope you like this chapter!   
> Things are starting to pick up, but Tony is...Tony. And Steve....*Sighs and shakes head fondly*   
> Words, boys. Words. 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When tension with the least-expected person occurs and another call to assemble creates a rift, will Tony take his first available escape attempt? Or will he stick it out?

Tony’s work was interrupted by a soft chime and Friday’s robotic voice. 

“Boss?” 

“Yeah, Fri?” 

“Colonel Rhodes is here and insisting you take a break for lunch.” 

Tony sighed, setting his wrench down. 

“Okay. You can let him in, Babygirl.” 

A moment later the soft whir of leg braces announced the Colonel's arrival.

“Sugarplum!” Tony opened his arms in greeting. “How are you?” 

“Same as always.” Rhodey smiled, accepting the hug. “What about you, man?” 

“Aww, you know me Honeybear.” Tony smiled, already relaxing in the presence of his best friend. 

“Well, I’m craving a cheeseburger- you with me?” 

Tony grinned, already noticing the sudden hunger pangs at the prospect of food. “You read my mind.” 

Though the thought of food- especially a cheeseburger- sounded appealing, his body seemed to disagree. The food almost tasted like ash, and the more he ate, the heavier the weight in his stomach grew. 

Despite his discomfort, Tony choked down his food. It wouldn’t do to worry his best friend- and therefore Pepper. 

And so the cycle continued, Rhodey and Pepper or (very occasionally, when they weren’t afraid of imposing) Steve or Natasha dragging him out of his lab for food or sleep. 

Tony lost himself in his work, time passing in a blur. 

Between updating tech for the Avengers, S.I. meetings and functions, and the new responsibility of the Maria Stark Foundation, he barely had time to breathe. Most of the “rest” he was getting was at the insistence of Friday, and nine times out of ten it was him collapsing on the cot in the workshop or even falling asleep at his work table, hunched over, back aching when he woke up.  
But he didn’t mind. In fact, it was a great distraction from everything. From Steve and that kiss. From Peter and Steve’s new bond. From the Rogues being back and most of them hating his guts.  
He forced himself to look at the positives; S.I. was doing better than ever with his attention and the new medical equipment to create prostheses. Rhodey was back and almost better than ever, and Tony and Pepper had never been as close as they were now, including when they were dating. 

* * * * * 

Tony woke from a horrible nightmare, sweaty and shaking. Once again he’d fallen asleep at his work table, his body unable to stay up any longer. Rubbing his arms to keep warm, he fought the feeling of cold and dark, breathing deeply. 

Then he registered what had snapped him out of his fitful slumber; the sound of the Avengers Alarm blaring; the signal to assemble. 

“Friday?” he called, instantly alert. 

“They’re assembling to board the Quinjet, Boss.” she responded immediately. Tony raced to join them, finding them all suited up. 

“Tony, where’s your suit?” Steve asked, frowning. 

“Don’t worry about it-” Tony brushed off the question, distracted by something else. “What are you doing here, kid?” He directed the question at Spiderman. 

“Well, Mr. Stark, I was already here and suited up just sparring with Captain America, and he said I could come and just be back-up!” 

“No way, kid, it’s too dangerous!” Tony shook his head. Friday had filled him in on the Doombots terrorizing Boston on his way to the Quinjet. 

“But Mr. Stark-” 

“I know you, Pete, and you won’t just sit back until we possibly need something. You decided not to be an Avenger, so-” 

“Tony, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to just let him come along.” Steve said authoritatively. 

“What, so suddenly you’re in favor of Pete being on the team? Weren’t you just judging me for bringing him into this.” 

“Well, since training with him-” 

“Oh, so, it’s only okay and acceptable to you if YOU’RE making the call? If YOU’RE training with him- if YOU’RE mentoring him.” Tony asked, stung.

“I’m not a child, Tony!” Peter suddenly said. “I’m perfectly capable-” 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt! If we start you in easily-” 

“You’re not my father, so stop acting like it! If Cap says I can go, I’m gonna go. Just back off!” the teenager snapped. 

Tony felt as if he’d been slapped. 

“Woah, easy there, Son.” Steve lay a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go walk it off?”

Peter stormed off, leaving the rest of the Avengers looking at Tony in shock, the genius standing frozen in disbelief. 

‘You should’ve seen this coming.’ he told himself.

“Tony, I’m sure he-” 

“Forget it.” Tony shrugged off Steve’s pity. “Let’s make a plan.” 

Ignoring the team's uncomfortable, pitying gaze, Tony started consulting with Steve about their first move. 

With a great game plan, the team arrived at the scene ready. 

Tony had never seen so many Doombots in his whole life. Their upgrades made them trickier than ever; some spat acid (one even burned through part of Tony’s suit) and some combusted.  
Wanda held most of them, with her powers shielding civilians and the team from the blasts as Tony, Rhodey, and Cap destroyed them and Scott snuck into their armor and the spies made a perimeter. 

As Tony expected, Peter didn’t wait as backup and joined the fray almost instantly. Swinging from building to building, he found where the next mass of bots was and held them off. 

There were quite a few close calls and injuries, the bots shooting shrapnel and bullets, throwing acid, or exploding. The closest call was when one of the bots honed in on Peter and sent bullets flying. 

“Peter, look out!” Tony called, reaching the Doombot just in time. Jumping in front, he formed a shield, taking the hit himself, reducing it to little more than the sting of a paintball gun. 

After a few hours, Friday announced the area Doombot free, and the Avengers tiredly limped back to the Quinjet. 

Tony tapped the reactor distractedly before announcing he was going to fly home himself. 

“Tony-” Steve began, but Tony cut him off with a quick “I’ll be fine, Cap. See you all later.” 

Instead of flying home, though, he flew around assessing the damage and moving the bigger, heavier pieces of debris. Finding a few people whose apartment was destroyed, he put them into a nice hotel until renovations brought their homes back. He flew around fixing damages, sometimes wandering aimlessly until Friday spoke in his ear. 

“Sir, at this rate, you will not arrive home until very early in the morning.” 

Sure enough, Tony looked around, and saw the sun was setting, casting beautiful colors in the sky over the city. 

“Alright, Fri, let’s take off. It won’t do for me to be late to the S.I. meeting tomorrow.”

He snapped the faceplate down and took off, the familiar swoop in his stomach from flying lightening his mood a fraction. 

Soon enough he was yawning. 

“Fri, dear? Put the suit on Autopilot if you don’t mind. Wake me up if there’s a problem or you need me.” 

“You’ll always be needed, Boss.” Friday replied, and Tony felt a lump form in his throat. 

“Thanks, Babygirl.” 

“You’re very welcome, Boss. Sleep well.” 

* * * * * 

Despite his sleeping the whole way home, Tony felt like a walking zombie the next morning. Padding into the kitchen, he headed right to the coffee machine. 

“Morning, Tony.” Steve greeted, chuckling when the billionaire only responded with a grunt. 

Steve was the only other person awake that early, about to go on a “jog”. 

“How’d you sleep?” the Super Soldier asked carefully. 

Tony shrugged. 

“Look Tony, about yesterday-” 

“Not a big deal, Cap.” Tony said, but his heart was already racing with anxiety from the confrontation.

“But it is.” Steve protested. “I never meant to steal your...your kid! Or demean your-” 

“He’s not my kid.” Tony scoffed. “You heard him. But it doesn’t matter; no one else was around when I found him, but now he has all the Avengers looking out for him. So he’ll be good. In fact, you reminded me I have to contact the Accords Council before they get pissed at me for letting him come- could you give him the papers to sign if I give them to you? It just says that he agrees to be a consultant and accepts the risks and if he does anything bad the Avengers will accept responsibility, yadda yadda yadda.” 

Steve sighed. “Sure, Tony. You know, he feels awful-”

“Yeah, well, tell him not to. He was right. I was just trying too hard to not be my father. It was my fault. My mistake.” Tony handed him the papers. “Well I’m off. If you could have him sign those and then Friday will scan them and send them to the Council. Thanks.” 

Making sure to refill his mug, he left the kitchen to meet up with Happy. 

Surprisingly, Tony’s day ended earlier than he anticipated; the Stark Industries meeting only lasted a few hours, and the conference call with the Accords Council shut down pretty quickly when they saw and read the contract Peter signed. 

“This call is on your head, Stark.” they’d warned him, Tony only nodding in acknowledgement. 

With nothing new on the Foundation’s front until a meeting the next day, Tony’s day was done by 5:00. 

“Sir, Miss Potts is calling.” Friday announced. 

“Put her through, Fri.” 

“Hi, Tony.” Pepper greeted. 

Since Tony had taken a more active role in S.I., Pepper seemed happier and less stressed than Tony had ever seen her. 

“Hey, Pep, what’s shakin’?” 

“Well, I see your schedule is clear so unless you have something pressing going on in the workshop, I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner?” 

“Sure.” Tony agreed happily. 

“Giovanni’s? 6:00?” 

“I’ll be there.” Tony affirmed. 

Tony felt some of the tension seep away when he finally saw her. No matter what she was to him, Tony would always feel safe and loved with her. She would always be his greatest friend and confidante. 

“Hey, you.” she beamed in greeting. 

He kissed her cheek and they took a seat, chatting. 

They ordered their food and wine, and Pepper finally fixed Tony with her ‘Serious Talk’ face.

“So I heard some things went down yesterday.” she said. 

Tony sighed. Of course someone would have told her. “Pep-” 

“No, it’s okay.” Pepper held her hand up to interrupt him and finish. “I made it very clear I was not your handler or a messenger owl. But what happened?” 

Quietly Tony told her what happened, both hating and feeling validated by her sympathetic expression.

She sighed when he was done. “I’m so sorry, Tony.” 

“It’s not really a big-” 

“No, it is a big deal. No one really notices or cares about how much you do. You’ve gone above and beyond for Peter and don’t you dare think otherwise. And I don’t understand how Steve could just demean you like that in front of everyone. Whether he meant to or not.” her sad eyes met his and for a second he choked up.

“You work so hard, Tony. You deserve a break. Why don’t I schedule everything next week for another time? You can just take off wherever you want, relax-” 

“No, Pep, I couldn’t take time off. There’s too much going on!” Tony protested. 

“Well, whatever you have scheduled you can video conference.” she pressed. “What about this; I’m leaving the end of next week for a conference in London. Why don’t you come with me and you can work from there while I’m going to the conferences? You can join me at the events and when we’re free we can just get lost in the city and sightsee.” she suggested, her eyes lighting up excitedly. 

Tony chuckled. “Let me see. It sounds wonderful, though. If it works out, I’d love to.” 

In fact, it sounded like heaven. He felt horrible running away from his problems like a child, but he was so tired. They chatted more about the possibility until dinner arrived.  
Almost instantly, Tony felt himself tense up. He had so much left to do. He didn’t deserve to lavish himself with fancy, expensive food, to enjoy the luxury, until he finished. 

“Tony? Tony!” Pepper’s voice cut through the thoughts. “You okay? You kinda zoned out for a second there.” 

“Sorry.” he apologized. “Just thinking.” 

He reached forward, cutting his steak as Pepper hesitantly followed suit, watching him carefully as she bit into her salmon. 

Despite his bout of nausea, the steak was delicious and with Pepper as a distraction he ate three quarters of his steak. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Pepper’s concerned gaze pinned him to his seat. “You didn’t finish your food.” 

“Not that hungry, I guess.” he replied nonchalantly. 

Pepper’s eyes narrowed. “In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve only ever seen you not finish a meal when you’re sick.” 

“I’m fine, Pep. Must just be old age.” he joked. 

Pepper grudgingly dropped the subject, but she watched him much more closely. 

As they walked out of the restaurant, he opened her car door for her. 

“Goodnight, Tony.” she said, kissing his cheek. “Think about the trip. I think you may need it.” 

“I will.” Tony assured her. “Goodnight, Pep.” 

* * * * * 

It was settled. In the next few days, in between meetings and appearances and work, Tony moved his schedule around so he could join Pepper in London. He couldn’t deny how relieved he felt that for a week he would be away from the Compound and usual stresses of life. He notified Rhodey of course, but a few hours before he left he decided he should tell the team himself. 

He found them all in the common area eating lunch. 

“Hey, Tony!” a few greeted. 

“Mr. Stark!” Peter looked up in surprise. 

Tony had put the lab on lockdown, so he hadn’t really seen Peter since the incident, only talking to him in a few brief, impersonal texts. 

“Pull up a seat, Tony.” Steve offered. 

“Just for a minute.” the genius agreed, sitting at the table across from Peter. 

“Uh, Mr. Stark, I was wondering if we could finish that suit upgrade later?” Peter asked softly, hopefully. 

“Sorry, Peter. I actually just stopped by to let everyone know I’m leaving for a week with Pepper for a Stark Industries conference.” 

“What?” Peter’s face fell. 

“When do you leave?” Steve asked, frowning. 

Tony checked his watch. “A few hours. I already let Rhodey know that if the Avengers need anything I’ll fly out, and Friday is there if you need anything in the meantime. It’s not like I’ll be disconnected or anything. Pep and I have our bases covered. I scheduled a shipment of food that should last you guys well through when I return- unless Thor returns to visit that is. I just wanted to let you know and say goodbye, so...Goodbye.” 

“I hope it goes well.” Steve offered, his voice unusually quiet. 

“Thanks, Cap. And Peter, if you want to finish the suit you’re welcome into the lab. Friday will watch you for safety and give suggestions if you need it.” he offered. 

“But what about- I mean, I thought we were gonna do it together.” the teen almost whispered. 

Tony felt a rush of guilt. 

“If you wanna wait we still can, but, uh, we’ve both been pretty busy lately.” he pointed out. “If you’d rather do it alone that’s okay.” 

Peter nodded, his head dropping slightly. 

“Alright, bye, everyone. Be safe. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” he teased. 

“Okay, dad.” Clint rolled his eyes. 

Tony flinched but hid it in a movement to grab his briefcase. 

“Clint.” Natasha and Steve admonished. 

Tony ignored the rest of the conversation, walking toward the main elevators. 

But he turned the corner and nearly ran into someone. He tripped, losing his balance before a metal hand reached out to steady him. 

“Woah, you okay there?” 

“Sorry, James. Just in a rush I guess.” Tony said apologetically. 

“No worries. Where ya headed?” the Super Soldier asked curiously, eyeing Tony’s clothes and travel bag. 

“Uh, headed to London for a week. Stark Industries stuff.” 

Bucky nodded understandingly. “Be careful, yeah?” 

“Will do.” Tony agreed easily. “Uh, James?”

“Yes?” 

“Keep an eye on them for me, will you? Make sure they’re good?” 

“I will.” Bucky promised, giving Tony an understanding look. 

“Thanks. Take it easy.” 

“You too.”

* * * * * 

Bucky walked into the kitchen to find the rest of the team gathered around Peter, clearly trying to comfort the teen. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Buck.” Steve sighed. “Tony just left for a week.” 

“Yeah, I just ran into him on his way out.” Bucky said. 

“He’s leaving because of me!” the teenager said quietly, his head in his hands. 

“No, Peter.” Natasha said. “He’s not.” 

“She’s right.” Bucky agreed. “He told me it was for Stark Industries.”

“That was a cover!” the teen denied. “I was awful to him-!” 

“I already told you he said he forgives you.” Steve reminded him patiently. 

“But he’s barely talked to me since.” tears now rose to Peter’s eyes. “He’s never acted like that around me.” 

Natasha put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry too much, Peter. He may be hurt, but he cares about you too much to keep his distance for long.” 

Clint scoffed. “I don’t know about that.” he said. 

“Clint, knock it off.” Steve said sharply. 

“Oh come on, Steve! He left us to rot in the Raft!” 

“He helped get you out!” the soldier snapped. 

“What?” 

“Oh, come on. I know I’m strong and remotely crafty, but do you really think I could shut down all the security codes in the Raft myself? Not a chance, unless it was already compromised.” he said impatiently. 

“Oh come on, I know you want to believe he’s a good guy and we can all go back-” 

“Captain Rogers is correct. Boss tampered with the codes in a “glitch”, allowing him enough time to help break you out.” 

A stunned silence followed the AI’s declaration. 

“Not to mention he’s responsible for the Barton’s safety in their safe house.” 

Clint froze at that. “What?” 

“After you left and became involved in the ‘Civil War’, Mr. Stark found out your secrets had been leaked and your family was in danger. He generously rushed to their aid and put them in a secluded safe house where they have since been provided for and kept comfortable.” 

Clint’s breathing became laboured. 

“He- But they- Laura never said-” he sputtered. 

“Mr. Stark was well aware of your feelings about him and so thought it best you remain unaware of his...involvement.” she explained. 

“Oh my god.” Clint breathed out. “Oh my god.” he turned to his best friend. “Nat, I’ve messed up.” 

The assassin snorted. “To put it mildly.” she agreed bluntly. 

Clint’s head dropped. “I said such horrible things...he was- IS- my friend, and I was a jackass.” 

“We’ve all been.” Steve pointed out. “We have a lot to make up for.” 

“At least you didn’t try to kill him.” Bucky said to Clint. 

“What?!” Peter yelped. 

“You’re talking about Siberia.” Sam, who was uncharacteristically quiet up until that point, interjected. 

“Bucky, you don’t have to-” 

“You never told him, did you.” Natasha asked Steve, a sudden suspicion dawning. “Damn it, Steve.” 

“Told him what?” Sam inquired. 

“I killed his parents.” Bucky said. 

“What?!” Peter, Clint and Sam cried. 

“The Winter Soldier did.” Steve corrected. “I, uh, knew and didn’t know how to tell Tony. Siberia was a setup, and when we got there the other soldiers were killed, but there was a video of Tony’s parents dying.” 

“He went after you.” Wanda realized quietly. “I would have.” “Sorry, Buck.” 

Clint’s eyes were wide with horror. 

“I made a horrible mistake.” Steve said. “I think we all made mistakes and we all paid the price for them. But I’m starting to realize Tony may just have paid the biggest price of all of us.” 

Everyone let that statement sink in. A sniffle cut the silence. 

Peter quickly wiped a tear away. “No wonder he needed to get away. You hurt him.” he glared at Steve with now distrustful eyes. But then they darkened. “*I* hurt him. We all have.” 

Clint sighed. “This is a mess.”

“But that doesn’t mean it can’t change.” Steve said, his eyes glittering with determination. “We can make it up to him. We WILL make it up to him.” 

They all nodded, reflecting quietly. 

Having finished lunch, Steve wandered off to his quarters. Bucky followed. 

“You’re quiet.” the brunette stated. 

“Every time I remember, I feel worse and realize how bad I screwed up.” he admitted. 

“I know you, Stevie. There’s something else.” 

Blue eyes met blue eyes as Steve looked up at his best friend, a pleading expression on his face.

“He went with Pepper.” he managed. 

“So?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

“That’s his ex. Who he’s now leaving for a week with.” Steve clarified. 

“And your point?” 

Steve groaned. “Are you really gonna make me say it?” he ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. 

“Absolutely.” 

“You’re a jerk.” Steve huffed on a laugh. 

“And you’re still a punk. So go on. Why don’t you want him gone with his ex?” 

“Because I want to be with him!” Steve finally burst out. Then he turned a soft crimson as he admitted. “*I* want to be with Tony.” 

“Punk, how long have you felt like this?” Bucky asked, exasperated. 

“...A while.” Steve admitted. 

“Define ‘a while’.” 

“What do you want me to say, Buck? That I’ve been...attracted...to him since I met him? That he’s always fascinated me and drawn me to him? But I didn’t realize it was-” he stopped. 

“Love?” Bucky finished for him. “Steve, do you love him?” 

“I might.” he said softly. “I didn’t realize until he kissed me, but-” 

“Wait what?” his best friend fixed him with wide eyes. 

Steve told him what had happened, his best friend listening intently with a wide-eyed, disbelieving expression.

“But I just keep on messing up, Buck.” Steve admitted dejectedly. “In trying to get closer to his kid so that I could also be included in that part of his life, I STOLE his kid and turned him against him. And if THAT wasn’t enough I then insinuated that I didn’t trust him to be a mentor!” 

Bucky sighed, pressing his hands to his eyes to fight off his burgeoning headache. 

“Look, punk. It’s so obvious Stark adores ya. He’s clearly forgiven you for Siberia, so if he’s done with that, it should be clear to ya that he thinks the sun shines out your ass. So just get your head out of there and make a move! Or do anything to show him that ya care at least. It’s also obvious he has abandonment and trust issues, which who can blame him? But show him you won’t walk away. You’ll be the one to stick around. And not just for the perks or upgrades.” he stressed. 

“He admitted to me once he only thought you guys stuck around because with him you get a free ride.” 

“He did?” Steve asked, aghast.

“More like heavily insinuated. He said if he didn’t have all the money you all would’ve been gone a long time ago.” Bucky told him grimly. 

“Jesus.” Steve grimaced. Then he looked up at Bucky. “What if I missed my chance, Bucky? He’s gone for a week. With Pepper. How do I-” 

“How do you compare? Jesus, Steve, you’re Captain America. The hero Tony’s worshipped since being a child. And if Pepper was perfect they wouldn’t have ended things at all.” 

Steve nodded, sighing. 

“So Stark, huh?” Bucky bumped Steve with his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you swing that way?” 

Steve flushed a little. “Well- back in the day you know what it was like. I guess I never let myself believe it then. Besides, all the dames were great, and there was Peggy-” he cut off. “...But when I woke up the world was such a different place, and suddenly it was okay to look at the fellas too? It was so confusing. And some people still oppose it, but I know it’s not just me now. It’s not...bad, it’s just different.” 

“I’m proud of ya, Steve. Just surprised is all. You were so popular with the dames after your health was fixed.” 

“I still admire a pretty lady.” Steve laughed. “And you’re saying *I* was popular with them? YOU were always the lady-killer, Buck.” 

“Yeah, but I never minded getting a glimpse of a nice-looking gentlemen, either.” he shrugged. 

“Really?” Steve asked, surprised. 

“Yeah.” Bucky smiled. 

The two friends sat in a comfortable silence, processing the new information and enjoying the contentment of telling a secret. 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Sorry for the delay- I had to get my notebook with all the next chapters mailed back to me (Thanks, COVID!)  
> To make up for it is a lengthy chapter, and I hope to update every 2/3 days for a while! 
> 
> I hope you liked this latest installment! Much more to come! 
> 
> As always, I am grateful for any/all support this little story may receive! 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony enjoys a relaxing break in London, but his welcome home may just surprise him and set change into motion.

Seven days flew by. Tony couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so content. The billionaire and Pepper worked by day and played by night, taking long lunch breaks to cafes, sightseeing and exploring. They even went out dancing, and Tony took them to see a performance on the West End as well. 

“I’m headed to my last meeting, Tony.” Pepper called, slipping her high heels on. 

“Okay! I’ll meet you for lunch after?” 

“Absolutely! And don’t forget we have reservations tonight at-”

“7:00, I know.” Tony laughed. “It’s our last night, I won’t forget.” 

Pepper left for the meeting and after doing some work he left the suite to wander around. After a while he stopped outside a hospital. On a whim he entered, strolling up to the Guest Services desk.

He inquired about the hospital and was impressed with how strong the units were.

“You look really familiar.” the woman finally said. 

Tony just laughed and suddenly comprehension dawned on her face. “Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark!” 

“Guilty.” Tony chuckled, shooting her a flirty grin. 

“Oh my god the kids would LOVE to meet you.” she cried.

“I’d like to meet them.” Tony agreed amiably. 

Which is how Tony found himself being led from room to room of the Children’s Ward, meeting all kinds of sick children whose faces lit up upon seeing him. Who hugged him and screamed or cried or simply sat silent in shock. 

With every angel he met, Tony felt his heart break more and felt more determined to help.

He answered all their questions on being a superhero, told funny stories about the Avengers, and even showed some of them how his watch turned into a gauntlet. 

The last little girl, who was battling Leukemia, accepted his hug and quietly told him “You’re my hero.” 

Tony’s heart cracked a little and a lump rose in his throat. 

Carefully he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. “Can I tell you a secret?” 

At the girl’s eager nod he leaned down closer. 

“You’re MY hero.” he whispered. “And so, I want you to have this.” he pulled an old keychain from his pocket. “This keychain is actually made from scraps from the first Iron Man suit.” he ran his thumb over the design before slowly handing her the A-shaped object. “It, uh, it’s helped remind me who I am and where I’ve been. It’s helped me keep fighting, and I hope it’s going to do the same for you!” 

The tiny child stared at the gift in wonder. 

“Thank you.” she finally whispered shyly. 

“It was my pleasure.” he grinned. 

“I want you to have this.” she still shyly avoided his eyes as she handed him the drawing she’d been coloring during his visit. 

A surprisingly well-drawn Iron Man flew above a city, carrying the little girl in his arms. In bold letters it said ‘My Hero’. 

“Thank you, Sweetheart. I’ll cherish this.” Tony kissed the top of her head, saying a hasty goodbye and departing before anyone could see the tear that escaped and rolled down his cheek.

Thanking the staff and giving them a very hefty check, he exited the hospital feeling better than he had in a long time. 

He met up with Pepper and the two spent the rest of the day together sightseeing and making the most of their last day in London. 

The next day they woke up early, grabbing a quick breakfast before boarding the jet home.

Tony felt the weight of stress on his shoulders returning as they got closer to home, growing heavier by the second. 

“Welcome home, Boss.” Friday greeted as he entered the Compound. 

“Thanks, Babygirl. I’m glad to see nothing blew up or caught on fire in my absence.” 

“Not without you here in the lab, Boss.” the clever AI teased. 

“Sass! That’s all I get from you!” Tony dramatically pretended to be wounded. 

“You did create me, Sir.” she helpfully pointed out. 

“Yeah, yeah.” he waved his hand dismissively. 

He instantly made his way to the workshop, claiming he wanted to finish up a project, when really he wanted to check up on his bots. 

Immediately upon entering he was surrounded by three excited, beeping robots. 

“Daddy’s home!” he teased. “Did you miss me?”

“Mr. Stark!” 

Surprised, Tony turned to see Peter at the work table. 

“Hey.” he greeted. 

“You're back early.” Peter shifted on his feet awkwardly. 

Tony shrugged. 

“Just wanted a head start on the da- Yes, THANK you, Dummy, I missed you too.” Tony exasperatedly accepted the fire hydrant from the very excited bot, speaking as if to a child. He shook his head fondly, patting Dummy’s sensor, making the robot purr happily. 

Peter giggled, watching the interaction. 

“What are you up to?” Tony asked, walking over to the table.

Peter shrugged. “Just looking at some stuff.” he replied.

Curious, Tony turned his attention to the project, immediately seeing what the brilliant teen was doing. “Ah, making some new web fluid?” 

Peter nodded shyly. “Just trying to find a way to make the bond sever while still holding as strong.” 

Tony cocked his head thoughtfully. “I think you have the right idea.” he encouraged. 

“Thanks.” Peter smiled. “How was your trip?” he asked after a moment of silence. 

“It was great. London’s cool, and despite the work it was relaxing.” his mentor answered.

“Good!” Peter said. “I, uh, I waited to upgrade the suit.” he said meekly. 

“Oh?” Tony asked, carefully sounding nonchalant.

“I wanted to wait for you.” the teen looked at him earnestly. “Mr. Stark, I am SO sorry-” 

“Don’t be, Pete.” Tony interrupted, his heart aching. “You were right, I was completely out of line. As much as I’d like you to be, you’re not my kid. I need to treat you-” 

“Like you’ve always treated me!” Peter insisted. “Mr. Stark, you’ve done nothing but support, help, and care for me. I had no right to speak to you like that. You were looking out for my safety, and you were right; if you hadn’t noticed that bot, I could’ve been hurt. I didn’t accept a spot on the Avengers, and I shouldn’t let myself forget that. I’m sorry I took out my frustration about being treated like a child out on you. You didn’t deserve that.” 

Tony sighed. “Peter-” 

“What I’m REALLY sorry about, though, is telling you you're not my father.” Peter’s voice grew soft. “I-I don’t really remember my dad, and nothing and no one could ever replace Uncle Ben, but...you’re the best father figure I could ever ask for, Mr. Star- Tony.” 

Tony’s breath hitched, and he stood frozen to the spot. 

“I’m so sorry I ever made you feel like you were anything less than the world’s best mentor and father figure. And if you’ll still have me, I promise to remind you. All the time.”

“God, Pete-” 

But the kid took a chance and quietly, slowly wrapped his arms around the genius in a hug. 

Tony melted into the embrace, laying his chin on top of the teen’s curls. 

"Thank you, kid. You don’t know what that means to me. And I promise in the future to be less...authoritative. Your feelings are important, and I’ll be sure to listen to you.” 

Peter’s arms tightened around him in response. 

“Now, if I’m correct, you lost track of time and haven’t had lunch?” Tony guessed. 

Peter smirked. “Like father, like son.” 

Tony chuckled. “I would take offense to that, but we both know that’s true, so.” he admitted, shrugging. “But why don’t we take a lunch break?” 

“That sounds good.” Peter agreed, content now that he’d reconciled with his mentor. 

Chatting, the two entered the kitchen to find most of the Avengers besides Clint, Vision and Wanda. 

“Tony!” Steve almost dropped his fork. 

“Welcome home.” Natasha greeted, smiling gently at him. 

“Thanks.” Tony returned her smile. 

“How was the trip?” Bucky asked. 

“It was great!” 

“You seem very rested. Looks good on you.” the brunette Super Soldier told him. 

“Ah, don’t make me blush.” Tony teased. 

“Well, we just made quesadillas if either of you want one.” Steve announced. 

“Thanks, Cap.” The two helped themselves and joined the table.

“So, how was Pepper?” Natasha wanted to know.

“She was great.” Tony couldn’t help but light up. “We had a great time, and after how long we hadn’t seen each other, it was nice to be around her.” 

Nat smiled. 

“So, anything exciting happen here while I was gone?” Tony inquired. 

“Absolutely nothing.” Sam assured the genius. 

“Good to know.” Tony shrugged. "I go away and you keep things boring. Typical." 

Everyone chuckled.

After a surprisingly peaceful lunch, Tony excused himself to unpack. 

He was updated on everything he’d missed work-wise by Friday, and was relieved to find he didn’t miss anything drastic or pressing. When he finished unpacking, he spent the rest of the day working. 

“Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting access.” Friday informed him. 

Curious, Tony replied instantly. “Let him up, Babygirl.” 

The moment the blonde entered the room, Tony turned to face him. 

“Cap! What can I do for you?” 

“I, uh, just wanted to welcome you home.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “And you came all the way up here…?” 

“To tell you you were missed.” Steve finished, not breaking eye contact with the shorter man.

Tony scoffed. “What, you’re saying you missed me?” he joked. 

“Yes.” Steve agreed earnestly, without hesitation. 

Tony coughed uncomfortably, looking away.

Taking a chance, Steve took a step closer to the genius. 

“Bucky was right- you actually look rested and relaxed.” 

“Well, I guess that’s good?” Tony asked, honestly confused now. 

“I mean, you always work yourself to the bone, and you don’t sleep, but I guess being with Pepper it makes sense, of course.” 

Tony shrugged. “I guess.” 

“I’m...glad you two worked things out.” Steve said carefully, awkwardly.

“What? Cap, Pepper and I aren’t together again. No, she saved herself the trouble and dodged that bullet.” he joked. 

“Tony.” Steve breathed. “Have you done anything to save or help Bucky personally lately?” 

“...No?...” 

“Good.” Steve replied before slowly leaning in and capturing Tony’s lips. 

Unlike the two previous kisses they’d shared, this was gentle, soft, and explorative, different from the impulsive, needy ones before. As always, Tony’s brain was unable to process anything but the softness of Steve’s lips, the hard warmth of his muscles around him. 

Though the kiss didn’t deepen, it lasted longer than their first few liplocks, both unwilling to pull away from the other. 

“Tony.” Steve was finally the one to pull away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I mean I know you don’t want me to- I know you don’t- I just didn’t want you to think I only wanted to kiss you when you help Bucky.” he rambled. 

“Woah, Cap. Hold up. Why in the world would I not want you?” Tony blinked in confusion.

Steve’s eyes widened. “Because, Tony, I’ve hurt you so many times. I’ve treated you horribly, and the night you first kissed me I told you to come to me when you wanted to...IF you wanted. And now I’m here, not even respecting your wishes.” he sighed. 

“That message?” Tony asked. 

Steve nodded. 

“Steve, I...I didn’t hear that message. I- I couldn’t bear to hear you reject me after I threw myself at you so pathetically. No matter how kindly you did it. I couldn't hear your pity.” Tony whispered. 

“What? Tony, I wouldn’t reject you. I was just so surprised when you kissed me that by the time I could kiss you back, you had panicked and left.” 

“...You..want me?” 

“Yes, Tony.” Steve admitted, looking at him earnestly. “I have for a while now.” 

“But...you chose Bucky.” Tony managed to say. “You two are the love story of the century.” 

“What? Tony, Bucky is my best friend. My brother. Maybe without the stigma of our time, we could have had something once, but- I want YOU, Tony.” 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, Rogers.” 

“I’m not.” 

“I’ll drive you crazy.” 

“I count on it.” Steve chuckled. 

“I- Cap, I’m a mess. You don’t even want to know. I can’t sleep without nightmares, I don’t eat, I lock myself in my lab for days on end-” 

“Tony, Sweetheart, stop.” Steve put his arms on Tony’s shoulders. “I know what I’m getting myself into.” he kissed the genius’ forehead. “So you’ll have me as long as you want me.” 

“You better be sure about this, because I’m not strong enough to resist you.” Tony said, reaching up to snake a hand behind the blonde’s neck, kissing him again.

Steve wrapped his arm around Tony’s waist. 

“This can’t be a dream, can it?” the genius asked softly. “I usually only have nightmares.” 

“No, Tony, you're not dreaming.” Steve answered, feeling his heart ache at the words. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man, hugging him tightly. 

Tony returned the embrace desperately, as if Steve would disappear if he didn’t keep hold of him. 

Noticing this, Steve laid another kiss on his forehead, murmuring “I’m not going anywhere, Sweetheart.” 

There was no response from the billionaire, and Steve pulled away just enough to look down at the man in his arms. 

He felt a rush of affection and amusement when his blue eyes met Tony’s dazed, heavily-lidded brown ones. 

“Why don’t we go lay down for a bit?” he suggested, gently tugging Tony’s hand. 

The genius followed him easily, laying back on the mattress. He gazed at Steve drowsily, not even fighting or commenting when Steve lifted his shirt off and pulled off his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. Steve followed suit, quickly stripping before sliding in next to Tony.

Tony shivered and Steve curled around him, drawing him to his chest. 

The genius relaxed into the touch, all tension melting away. 

“Steve.” he whispered.

“Right here.” Steve assured him. 

Within minutes, the Super Soldier felt the engineer’s breathing even out and knew he was asleep. 

Steve nuzzled into the warmth, reveling in the scent and feel of Tony, and before he knew it he was drifting off himself. 

* * * * * 

Steve woke up to Tony trembling in his arms. Uneven, shaky breaths shook his body, and soft whimpers disrupted the silence of the room. 

“Tony.” Steve tried gently, tightening his hold on the man. His only response was another whimper and shudder. 

Steve loosened his hold but spoke louder, more firmly. “Tony. Honey. Wake up.” 

Becoming more aware, Tony rolled over, recoiling from the feeling of arms around him.

“Tony, you’re safe. It’s okay, come on, wake up!” 

Suddenly the genius’ entire body stiffened, and his eyes flew open. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing. 

“Tony? Are you with me?” 

Not trusting his voice, Tony nodded, shuddering. 

“Sorry.” he breathed. He managed a totally fake smile. “Sorry for waking you. I’m alright, you can go back to sleep.” he laid back down, turning away from the other man. 

Not convinced, Steve lay back down as well, now noticing the small shake of Tony’s shoulders as he cried. 

Steve draped his arms over his waist and pulled him back into his chest.

Having been caught, Tony’s crying intensified. 

“I-I'm s-sorry.” he gasped, turning to bury his face in Steve’s chest. 

“Shh. You’re okay.” Steve soothed. 

“I-I saw you dead.” the genius wailed. 

“Tony, it was just a dream.” 

“But it wasn’t, Steve. I- I’ve seen and FELT it, and now that we- I can’t see you like that, I can’t bear it.” 

“I’m right here, okay? I’m okay, Tony.” Steve kissed his head, frowning in concern. “Have you had dreams like this before, Tony?” 

“It wasn’t a dream.” Tony puffed. “It was a memory.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Never mind.” 

“No, please tell me, Tony.” 

“Wanda got me too.” the admission was only heard because of serum-enhanced ears. 

Steve froze, the words registering. 

“She told me she- Tony, Sweetheart, what did you see?” 

Tony started to shake again, and only Steve’s tight, warm, comforting hold gave him the strength to speak. 

“The-the end of the world. Everyone I know and love. All of you. D-dead in a heap. Y-you grabbed my arm. Told me I could’ve stopped it before you d-died. Oh god, it was all my fault, and I was the only one- I was alone-” 

“Oh, Tony.” Steve felt his heart clench. “Is that why Ultron-” 

“I swear I was trying to help. I couldn’t bear the possibility, the thought- I already had the thought of Ultron- had since New York- but I was just so scared after seeing that I rushed it, and- I swear, I was trying to stop the end of the world not CAUSE it. You have to believe me. Oh god, I’m so sorry-” 

“No.” Steve’s voice was sharper than he intended. “Tony, don’t apologize. I should’ve known you’d never create something like this in your right mind. You were traumatized, Tony. We all are, but you’ve had to bear it alone.” 

Tony shuddered again. “I’m just tired, Steve. I don’t feel like ME anymore. I was unshakeable, strong, I could bounce back. My father always taught me ‘Stark men are made of Iron’. Well, I don’t feel like it anymore.” 

“Maybe that’s okay.” Steve squeezed Tony. “You’ve had to go through more things than most people will ever have to, there’s no way you would be the same. But maybe that’s okay. I don’t think before Afghanistan you would’ve let Peter into your heart. Before Ultron and that horrible vision, you didn’t have the same appreciation for teamwork and camaraderie. You’re scared now because you have more to lose. You have a family, people who love you who you love too. And I’d take that over the alternative any day.” 

Tony smiled shakily, his damp eyes absolutely shining with adoration. Wordlessly he pressed his face into Steve’s neck, burrowing close and breathing in his scent. 

“Who would’ve thought? Tony Stark; A Snuggler.” Steve teased, his heart melting with how sweet the genius was. “You think you can fall back asleep?” he asked gently after a few minutes. 

After careful consideration, Tony shook his head. 

“Okay, Sweetheart. Why don’t we go find some food for you?” 

Tony shook his head again. 

“Tony, you have to eat.” Steve sighed. 

“I will. I’m just going to go to the workshop.” 

“How about we put on a movie or something?” the blonde suggested instead. “It’s late. And there were more movies on the list you gave me…” 

The temptation to cuddle up to the Super Soldier was too great. 

“Okay.” he smiled, and Steve beamed back. 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, everyone!  
> Hope this finds you all at the end of a comforting, relaxing weekend- or if not, that this little update gives you a smile or helps!
> 
> THEY GOT THERE, FOLKS! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!!! 
> 
> Don't worry, it isn't just smooth sailing from now on. They will still have much to work on and a long way to go for a Happily Ever After!   
> I hope this chapter lives up to the expectation and isn't a disappointment! Very excited and nervous to be at this part of the story!
> 
> As always, thanks to any and all readers that find their way to this story. I appreciate it more than you know!
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving brings many- new and old, friend AND foe- gathered at the Compound. Hopefully the Compound will still be standing by the end of it.

Hearing the birds was strange, but Tony took a deep breath, feeling the fresh air enter his lungs. After a four-day workshop binge, it felt very different being outside. 

It was a crisp, cloudy day, the promise of snowfall in the near future in the air. 

Tony knew that inside the Compound workers were bustling around, preparing for the holiday ahead- Thanksgiving was the next day, and all of the Avengers and their extended family and friends would be there. 

Tony felt his age as he appreciated the quiet he would’ve detested not long ago. 

“Stark?” 

“That’s my name, Buckaroo. What can I do you for?” 

Bucky shrugged. “Was just needing some fresh air. Haven’t seen you around lately.”

“Yeah, projects in the lab were calling.” 

“Don’t you ever take a break?” Bucky asked. “I swear you’re worse than Stevie.” 

Tony smirked. “I’ll take a break when I’m dead.” 

Bucky sighed. “God, I can see why you and Steve are the way you are.” 

Tony’s responding smile was forced. “This my shovel talk, Frosty?” 

“Nah.” James said easily. “I don't think we need any more threats or fighting in this group. Plus, you’re smart enough to know the consequences of hurting Steve. Losing him would be a worse punishment than I could ever think of.” 

Tony flinched at that. 

Memories of a smashed arc reactor, horrible chest pain, Steve walking away from him- leaving him- flooded his brain. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Bucky cursed, seeing the genius’ reaction to his words. 

“Forget about it.” Tony waved his hand, though his voice was strained. “He’s your ‘End of the line’. I totally get it. That’s what I’d do for my Honeybear.” he rubbed at his chest. 

“Walking away from you was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.” Bucky said. “If that helps.” 

Tony laughed drily, no humor in it at all. “No, it wasn’t.” he replied simply. “He was protecting you.” he shrugged. “Looking back I understand, and I’m trying to come to terms with it. But I was the last thing on his mind in Siberia. Sometimes I think him walking out of there with you was the easiest choice he’s ever made. And the funny thing is, I don’t even blame him. Not anymore.” 

“That doesn’t mean the consequences after made it easy for him.” Bucky said gently. “I know he missed you and how things were before.” 

“Not as much as he missed you.” Tony smiled sadly. “You’re a hell of a friend, Barnes. And Steve hasn’t had the easiest life.” 

“I don’t think any of us have.” Bucky chuckled. “That’s why we’re all here, right?” 

Tony sighed, nodding. 

The two men lapsed into silence for a moment. 

“I want you to know I really care about him.” Tony finally stated, his voice hardly more than a whisper. “We may have a rough history, but I’ve never stopped caring for him.” 

“I know.” Bucky assured him softly. 

“Sometimes I feel like my whole life was leading up to loving him. Ever since I was a kid, Steve’s been a constant. I felt so many things for him before I even met him. It’s almost like I had no choice. My father would probably be rolling over in his grave if he knew what I’ve been through with his ‘Golden Boy’. It’s ironic, really, because he always revered ‘Captain America’. I appreciate Cap and respect being colleagues with him, but Steve Rogers is who I can’t live without. But maybe Dad was right; maybe I’m meant to get my heart broken by Captain America.” 

“Tony.” Bucky’s face twisted in pity and sadness. “I don’t know how to convince you that you deserve to be happy. I can’t promise you everything will magically fall into place and work out- especially with you and Steve. I’m sorry. But what I CAN tell you about is a skinned blonde punk with a heart of gold who never learned how to walk away from a fight. Who always stood up for the underdog. Who never gives up when his heart is in it.” Bucky put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. "No matter what’s happened in the past, in the long run Steve’s never given up on you. And I think the two of you have lost enough. You shouldn’t lose each other too.” 

“At least we can both agree that he’s a stubborn pain in the ass.” the genius chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Ugh, the worst.” Bucky groaned. “That kid gave me so many heart attacks. I’d hoped the serum would help him feel less like he had something to prove, but if anything it made it worse.” 

“Yeah, sounds about right.” Tony shook his head fondly. 

“But we’d do anything for that idiot, wouldn’t we?” the Super Soldier asked knowingly. 

“Yes. Yes we would.” Tony agreed quietly without hesitation. 

Bucky laid his hand on his shoulder again. “You’re a good man, Tony Stark.” 

Not knowing how to respond, the engineer smiled gratefully. He shrugged. “How about I make you a deal? If I hurt Steve, you won’t have to do anything cause I’ll kick my own ass for you.” 

“Think you do that enough.” the soldier shook his head. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” 

Both men turned to see Steve looking at them curiously. 

“Not at all.” Bucky assured him. “What’s up, Stevie?” 

Steve shrugged. “Just trying to see where either of you went.” 

He walked closer to them. “Hi.” he said quietly, almost shyly, as he met eyes with Tony.

“Hi.” if anyone claimed Tony’s voice was breathless he would deny it. 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You guys are gross. Just kiss the man already, Stevie.” 

Both men turned red, but Steve smiled as he leaned forward to lay a chaste kiss on the short man’s lips. 

Tony’s smile was shy and dopey so he quickly changed topics. 

“Is everyone ready for tomorrow?” 

“You’ve been doing all the prep work, Tony.” Steve laughed. 

Tony shrugged. “Not really, I just coordinated.” 

“Still, none of us have had to do anything.” 

“Yet.” Tony smirked. 

“What?” 

“Well, I’m not heartless.” Tony frowned. “I’m not keeping the workers here on a holiday. They have tomorrow off. We’re on our own for the actual cooking.” 

Both the soldiers groaned. 

“That’ll be...interesting.” Bucky bit his lip.

Tony laughed. “Don’t worry, Fri will be watching to make sure nothing goes too wrong.” 

Steve grinned. “Tony, you may be underestimating us.” 

“Oh, Cap, that’s part of the fun!” Tony replied, walking closer to the trees, the leaves crunching under his feet. “Last year it was just Vision and I.” he explained quietly. “Rhodey, Pepper, Peter and Happy were with their own families. Rhodey tried to drag me along, but I didn’t want Vision to be alone. He’d been in and out, but I thought- well, anyway, he was actually with Wanda.” 

Steve sucked in a breath and Bucky closed his eyes. 

Steve lay his hand on Tony’s arm and raised his other hand to the genius’ face. 

“You’re not alone anymore, Tony.” he said, voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry you were.” 

Tony shrugged but turned his cheek into the touch. 

“I’m hardly the only one.” the billionaire pointed out. “Not like you all were living the dream while on the run. It’s not the worst thing.” 

“Well, we’ll all be there tomorrow.” Steve promised, his voice firm. 

Tony let out a shaky breath. “Thanks, Cap.”

The three men stood outside in a comfortable silence, lost in thought, regretting the past but thankful for the present. 

* * * * * 

The next day Tony woke up early to start the food and preparations. 

“Friday, dear, please make sure nothing burns today.” 

“On it, Boss.” Friday answered cheerfully.

He was so ensconced in his work that he didn’t notice the soft padding of feet entering the kitchen. 

“Tony?” 

The genius looked up to see a sleep-addled, bleary-eyed Natasha. 

“Morning, Nat.” he greeted with a smile, biting his lip to keep quiet. The redheaded assassin looked positively adorable in sweatpants, a hoodie, and messy bun. 

“How long have you been up?” she asked, yawning. “Steve’s not even up yet.” 

Tony shrugged. A few hours had flown by and he hadn’t noticed. 

“Boss has been awake since 4:00 am, Miss Romanov.” 

“Let me start the coffee.” she offered, knowing chastising him would do no good and waving off his thanks. 

For a few minutes they sipped coffee in silence. With caffeine in their system the two set to work in the kitchen. 

Soon enough the other Avengers made their way to the kitchen for coffee. 

Clint whined when Natasha set him to work mashing the potatoes, but when everyone was given a task he stopped pouting. 

“Hey, the Parade will be on soon!” Clint announced.

“Friday, wanna play that for us?” Tony asked. 

“Absolutely, Boss!” 

“Thanks, Babygirl.” 

The mood in the kitchen as everyone bustled around while watching the Parade was joyful, and Tony couldn’t stop beaming. 

Delicious smells drifted through the room as everyone chatted. 

All the Avengers jumped, however, when a sudden clap of thunder shook the building and they all looked at each other in confusion. But everyone brightened suddenly as they realized what that drastic change in weather meant. 

They all raced outside, beaming as they saw a distinctive figure. 

“Friends!” Thor boomed. “Greetings!” 

“Thor!” the Avengers cheered. 

“Where’ve you been, Buddy?” Tony asked, clapping the god’s back. 

“Very busy! We have much to catch up on! But look! I return our lost shield brother!” he stepped aside and everyone froze. 

“Bruce?” Natasha and Tony whispered. 

“Hey, guys.” the scientist greeted sheepishly. 

* * * * * 

“What happened to you?” Natasha finally demanded. The group had waited to speak until making it inside. 

“Well, long story short I got stuck on a planet for years as the Hulk, unable to change back.” 

“I found him and we fought!” Thor added cheerfully. 

“He helped get me back and we fought his sister-” Bruce said. 

“Wait...sister?” Steve interjected. 

“Man, what is it with your siblings?” Clint asked. 

“Speaking of siblings…” Thor met eyes with Bruce, a silent question in his eyes. 

“Well, we happened to be with Loki on this planet.” the scientist finished, understanding Thor didn't want to broach the subject himself. 

“Loki’s alive?” 

“Yes, and we actually found important-” 

“What?” The group of heroes seemed anxious.

“Friend Barton, I know Loki manipulated your mind with the scepter. But I’m afraid Loki wasn’t in control of his own actions either during the Battle of New York.” 

“Come again?” Tony blinked in surprise. 

“When Loki fell off the BiFrost he landed in the grasp of the Mad Titan Thanos. Thanos used Loki’s anger and betrayal and manipulated him with the scepter and sent him to do his bidding. The Chitauri were Thanos’ army, Loki merely a pawn.” 

Utter silence met Thor’s announcement.

“And you don’t think he’s just lying to you?” Natasha asked gently. 

“I understand your hesitation-” 

“Bruce? Is this true? What’s your consensus?” Clint asked suspiciously. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but Loki actually seems genuine and truthful. Has the same attitude but definitely is different than the Loki we saw in New York.” 

“Friend Stark, I beg for your kindness. My brother has no resource, nowhere-” Thor turned desperate eyes to the billionaire. 

Tony sighed. “He’s still with you, isn’t he?” 

Thor flushed. “I wanted to keep an eye on him. And I didn’t want to leave him alone. To start, it was so he couldn’t cause trouble, but now it is because we have no one but each other.” 

Tony sighed. “Fine. We can hear him out. Then we’ll see. But if you don’t keep him in line-” 

“Thank you! Worry not, Man of Iron- my brother is under my watch.” Unable to help himself, he grabbed the billionaire into a tight hug, Tony freezing in shock. 

“I shall not forget your kindness this day, Stark. I will go fetch him and let him explain himself.” the Asgardian rushed off. 

“What did you do?!” Clint cried. 

“Clint, we should give him a chance-” 

“You just let him come into our home?!” 

“Clint, knock it off.” Natasha warned. “Let’s hear what he has to say before jumping to conclusions.” 

“He possibly went through the same trauma you did.” Tony pointed out quietly. 

Clint seemed to deflate. What he was going to say was interrupted as Thor returned, his dark-haired brother trailing behind him. 

Thor clapped Loki on the back. “Go ahead, brother.” 

Loki glared at his sibling, but turned his attention to the group of heroes. 

“The Mad Titan. Thanos. He searches for the Infinity Stones. The six of them together can wipe out half the Universe. His army he sent me to lead was a small example of his forces.” he said, his eyes meeting Tony’s meaningfully. 

Tony felt himself tense, his heart beginning to race. He felt very cold suddenly, and his stomach clenched. 

He was falling. 

“Tony?” Natasha lay a concerned hand on his shoulder. 

“Yes, Stark saw the extent of Thanos’ true power.” Loki said grimly, understanding the genius’ reaction.

“What?” Steve interjected sharply. 

“The wormhole.” Natasha’s eyes grew wide as she put the pieces together. 

Tony let out a breath, trying to keep from falling apart. 

“What did you see?” Steve stepped into Tony’s line of vision.

“An army- it was massive. Ships- so many- And it was so cold and dark-” he shivered. “That was Thanos?” 

“It was.” Loki confirmed. “He used me to lead his first army. He needed to gauge Earth’s defense, that’s all the Battle of New York was.” 

Tony’s eyes slammed shut, unable to handle the new information. 

“Tony. You’re alright. You’re with us.” Steve made sure he was right in Tony’s line of sight so he couldn’t see anyone else.

“If it’s any consolation, you majorly set back his plan. Destroying a major branch of his army helped.” Loki awkwardly offered to the shivering genius. 

“How did you manage to escape his control?” Clint crossed his arms. 

“You have your Beast to thank for that.” Loki drawled, looking over at Bruce. 

“And we’re just supposed to believe all this?” 

“If it helps, Mr. Barton.” Friday chimed in. “It appears he is speaking the truth. Video evidence shows your eyes turning blue-the color of the tesseract- when under Mr. Odinson’s control.” she explained. 

Loki growled at the title. 

“Going back to surveillance footage of the Battle of New York right before Boss is thrown out the window, Loki’s eyes were also the same blue. And right now they are green.” 

For a moment everyone took that in in silence. 

“Thor, you realize this is on you if he’s just tricking you again?” Steve asked gently

“Aye.” Thor replied grimly. “But evidence points to the truth. And most importantly, he is my brother. I have to believe.” 

Everyone seemed to accept that, a few more wary than others. 

“Boss, I must inform you that in the kitchen a few of your dishes are close to burning.” 

Tony, who still looked pale and shaky, jumped and raced back to the kitchen. 

Bruce and Thor frowned after him.

“Is he alright?” Bruce asked, seeing the major change in his friend. 

“Aye, the Man of Iron does not seem like himself.” Thor agreed. 

“Yeah, well, you guys have been gone for quite a while.” Steve sighed. “We have a lot to catch up on.” 

Bruce frowned, concerned at seeing the grim, uncomfortable look on his past teammates’ faces.

“But for now let’s have Thanksgiving.” Steve said. His tone left no room for discussion. “A lot of visitors are coming and we’re all here. So we need all hands on deck.” 

He led the group into the enormous kitchen where Tony was scrambling and successfully saving the ridiculous amounts of food from burning. 

As if they were on the field, Steve started calling the shots and designated jobs for everyone, making sure the tables were being set, foods were made, and dishes were carried to the table as they were finished. 

“Boss, the guests are beginning to arrive.” Friday finally announced.

“Show them up, Babygirl.” Tony told her happily. 

“Pepper or Rhodey coming?” someone asked him. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, but they’re running late.” 

“Then who-” Clint stopped dead when the guests entered. 

“DADDY!” Cooper and Nathaniel raced to him. 

Clint dropped to his knees, his kids running into his arms. Whispered words of apology and ‘I missed you so much’ and ‘I love you so much’ poured from the archer. Tears streamed down his face as he looked over his son’s shoulder to see his wife and daughter standing there. 

Seeing her husband’s tears, Laura’s face softened slightly. Clint stood and took a step towards them. 

“Lila-” he started, stopping when the young girl pointedly refused to meet his eyes. 

“Lila, say hi to your father.” Laura told her firmly. 

“Hi.” 

“Lila.” Clint choked, closing the distance. “Baby, I missed you so much. I missed you all so much.” 

Lila teared up and finally fell into her father’s arms. 

“I love you so much.” he murmured, kissing her hair, forehead, cheek. 

“We missed you.” she replied softly. 

“I missed you all. So, so much. I’m so sorry.” Clint met eyes with Laura. “Can we talk?” he asked her softly. 

“Later. After dinner.” Laura’s eyes promised a less-than-pleasant discussion, but he was so thankful she was there in the first place that he didn’t care. 

Staring at his family with stars in his eyes, Clint led his family away. 

“Mr. Lang, Cassie will be here with her other parents and Hank and Hope Pym.” Tony informed him. 

“Wh- Cassie?!” 

“Yes. Mr. Wilson, your mother is also en-route.” 

“What?” Sam’s eyes widened. 

True to his word, ten minutes later Cassie and her parents arrived with the Pyms, the young girl running to her father. 

“Hey, Peanut!” Scott held on to her tightly. “I missed you so much.” 

Hope’s face also promised trouble for Scott, but the reunions seemed to have brought a new lightness and joy to the Compound. 

“How did you do it?” a soft voice suddenly drew Tony away from his thoughts. 

“What?” 

“Clint told me Laura’s been ignoring him, refusing to see him. Scott mentioned the same thing. So how’d you get them to show up?” Natasha asked. 

Tony shrugged. “Everyone should be with their family for Thanksgiving.” he answered simply. 

The assassin smiled at that, affection for the genius washing over her. 

Sam’s mother showed up and the last to arrive were May and Peter Parker. 

“Hi, Mr. Stark!” Peter greeted happily. 

“Hey, kid.” Tony smiled, ruffling his hair. 

“Thor, Bruce I want you to meet Mr. Peter Parker. My intern and Superhero-in-training.” 

“Hi!” Peter’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe I’m getting to meet a God! And Mr. Banner, I’m a huge fan! All your research is just- Wow, and the Hulk is so cool-!” 

“Pete.” Tony laughed. “Take a breath. He’s here for the day, you’ll have time to talk his ear off later.” he patted the teen’s shoulder. 

“Right, right, sorry.” he blushed. 

“This lovely lady is Pete’s Aunt, May Parker.” 

May laughed. “Flatterer.” 

After introductions, the Parkers set off to mingle. 

“Tony- I didn’t know you had a ki-intern.” Bruce said. 

“A lot has happened.” Tony shrugged. “He’s a good kid.” 

But he was distracted by the entrance of two of his best friends.

“Pep! Light of my life!” he went over to kiss her cheek. “Hey, Hap!” 

“What’s going on, Boss?” Happy grinned. 

“Same old! Make yourselves comfortable!” he invited. “Say hi to the kid, he’ll be happy to see you!” 

Happy brightened at the mention of Peter and went off in their direction immediately. 

Tony wrapped an arm around Pepper and the two walked over to the bar to grab drinks. 

Tony poured some champagne and handed it to her, then filled his own glass with ginger ale. 

At her questioning glance, Tony’s eyes went to the ground, and he shifted uncomfortably. 

“I’m uh, trying to stay dry. Drinking even casually is just a temptation for me, and I don’t want-” 

He was cut off by tight arms around him and sweet perfume filling his nose as she hugged him. 

“Congratulations, Tony.” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be, but I am so proud of you.” 

“Thanks, Pep.” he smiled. 

“Is Rhodey coming?” she asked him. 

“Yeah, he’ll be here after dinner- he’s eating with his mom.” 

“Good!” 

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to have everyone here!” Tony agreed. 

“Is that-? Thor’s back?” Pepper asked suddenly, hearing the god’s booming laughter. 

She turned toward the sound. “And- Banner?” She looked back at her ex with wide eyes. 

“Yep. Just got here about an hour or two ago.” 

She shot him a worried glance but didn’t get the chance to respond, as Steve came up to the pair.

“Hello, Miss Potts.” he greeted. 

“Mr. Rogers.” Pepper replied, her tone civil but her yes hardening the slightest bit. 

“It’s been a while.” Steve tried. “I’m glad you could join us.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it.” she smiled. 

Steve seemed to falter the tiniest bit, clearly seeing through Pepper’s casual facade. 

“Well, it’s great to see you. Tony, everything smells amazing.” 

“Yeah, well, be careful with your expectations, Steve.” Tony made a face. 

“Well, anything beats the smoothies Dummy makes.” the Soldier pointed out. “So you’re already a leg up on your son.” 

Tony cackled. “I’ll give you that, Cap I just try to follow my mother’s lead.” 

“Well, we’ll be sure to remember that when judging your food.” Steve teased. 

“Speaking of which, I’m hungry. And everyone’s here, so let’s eat!” 

The Bartons and Langs stuck together, sitting next to each other. On Clint’s other side were Vision and Wanda. Bruce, Thor and Loki sat as far away as they could, Bruce still clearly uncomfortable with Wanda. Across from Vision and Wanda were Nat, Sam and his mother, Steve and Bucky. At the head of the table were Tony, Pepper, Happy, and the Parkers. 

Setting aside some of the tension, the Compound was soon filled with cheerful chatter, but no one was more happy than Tony Stark. It was as if the last few years had never happened. The genius glowed and fell into his old self. His smile was bright and unburdened, and his old charisma was back full force. People couldn’t help but stare at and watch the billionaire as he laughed and chatted with his family. He ruffled Peter’s hair and patted Pepper’s hand. 

Steve felt his breath catch watching Tony. He was beautiful. His eyes twinkled as Pepper whispered something to him, and Steve suddenly wanted nothing more than to be next to the smaller man. 

“You’re staring, Punk.” Bucky murmured, smirking. 

“Shut up.” Steve reddened, elbowing his best friend. 

“You got it bad, Stevie.” 

“Yeah. I do.” 

“Then take care of him.” the brunette advised. “He needs it. I’ve noticed he takes care of everyone but never himself. And clearly he’s happiest when he’s around all the people he cares about. But healing isn’t linear, it isn’t magic or sudden. It won’t always be this easy.” the Super Soldier warned. “Despite the grin on his face, I noticed he hasn’t eaten anything. He’s going to need to know you’ll also be there when things get tough again.” 

Steve frowned, realizing Bucky was right. Despite Tony’s obvious contentment, his plate was empty, and he made no move to get any. Steve noticed how thin Tony looked, and felt his worry grow. 

“I will.” he promised. 

When everyone had finally eaten their fill (Tony reminded everyone to save room for dessert), people broke away from the table. The Bartons went outside for a walk, and Scott’s family also snuck away to talk. 

Bruce quietly joined Natasha in the corner, the two clearly having a lot to talk about. 

Loki was quiet in the corner, watching his brother catch up and interact with his old team members. 

“Hey there, Reindeer Games. Not enjoying the party?” 

A small smirk graced Loki’s lips. 

“The Man of Iron.” he purred. “So welcoming.” 

The genius shrugged. “That’s what I do. But I asked you a question- why aren’t you joining the celebration?” 

“I’m afraid that my presence is unwanted.” Loki replied, his face not betraying any hint of emotion. “Besides, socializing has never been my strength. Unless it was to gain an ally. Or an enemy.” the smirk returned.

But Tony’s eyes were understanding and sympathetic. “Just give it time, Mischief Maker. It may surprise you. Everyone here has their own baggage and none of us- even the best of us-” he couldn’t help the way his eyes flickered to a certain Captain “-have always made the right choice. It may be a while, but if you show us who you really are, you won’t feel like an outsider forever.” 

Loki, not knowing how to respond, simply nodded at the genius. 

Satisfied, Tony turned to leave but was stopped when Loki said.

“May I start by apologizing for being the cause of your nightmares.” the normally arrogant voice was soft. 

“Thanks.” Tony said. “That part wasn’t your fault, but it helps. Take it easy on yourself, okay?”

“Boss, Colonel Rhodes is here.” Friday announced as Tony walked off.

“Sugarplum!” Tony loudly greeted Rhodey as he exited the elevator. 

“Hey, Tones! Happy Thanksgiving!” Rhodey gave him a tight hug. 

“Happy Thanksgiving! How was Mama Rhodes?” 

“Same as always.” the Colonel laughed. “Always asking about you and bugging me about when I’ll finally bring you on one of my visits.” 

Tony grinned. “Did she get my fruit basket?” 

“Oh yeah. Grumbled about how much food there was and how half of it was gonna go to waste with her living on her own so you should’ve known better and need to stop buying her things.” 

Tony laughed. “God bless that woman.” 

“So Pepper told me that Thor, Loki and Banner showed up?” he raised an eyebrow.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, there’s lots of catching up to do.” he said, 

“I bet. Well I’m gonna go do rounds and say ‘Hi’, but I’m sticking around a while.” 

“Have fun, Honeybear.” Tony smacked his best friend’s ass as he walked away. 

“Hi.” Tony turned to see Steve coming up behind him.

“Hi.” he smiled, his heart skipping a beat.

“Thank you for doing all of this.” the Super Soldier said. 

“I was happy to do it.” 

“I know, but as much as it means to you it means that much to us too.” 

“You think?” Tony bit his lip.

“I know.” Steve corrected.

Tony took Steve’s hand and led him into the adjoining hallway out of view of the kitchen and dining room. 

“You okay?” the blonde asked. 

But he was cut off when Tony tugged him down for a kiss. 

Steve hummed happily, pulling Tony closer. The kiss deepened as Steve ran his tongue over Tony’s bottom lip, and the genius groaned as he opened his mouth to grant Steve access. Steve explored all of Tony’s mouth, relishing in the taste of coffee and sweetness and the little sounds the shorter man made. 

“Steve.” Tony finally gasped when the necessity for oxygen broke them apart. “It’s Thanksgiving, right? So I have an excuse to say that I’m really fucking thankful for you?” Tony didn’t meet his eyes, and Steve felt his heart swell. 

He put his finger under Tony’s chin, gently pulling Tony’s gaze to meet his. 

“Tony, even before I realized how I felt about you I was thankful for you. When I first came out of the ice, I was lost- I had lost everyone and everything I’d ever known. The world had continued and I was stuck in the past. But you gave me a home, a family. You helped me understand technology and acclimate to this time. You made what I left behind a fond memory, not a wound. I’m thankful for you every day, Tony.” 

In response, Tony curled into Steve, his head laying on the broad chest, nuzzling into his neck. 

Smiling, the Super Soldier held on tightly. 

“Tony, Sweetheart, I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t eat anything at dinner.” he finally said carefully. 

The genius stiffened in his arms. 

“Just wasn’t hungry.” he lied. 

“Tony, you have to eat something. And I haven’t forgotten your comment about you not eating. I’m worried about you.” 

“I’m fine.” Tony shook his head.

“Tony, I won’t push you or force you to eat. But maybe if I understood I could try to help. Maybe just talking about it would help.” 

Tony bit his lip, clearly anxious. 

“It just started as being busy. After panic attacks I’d need a distraction, so I’d work. I’d forget to eat and the-the hunger would help distract me from the anxiety, help me focus on the work. But then-” he dropped his head, hiding his face. “It became a way of control- everything else was slipping away, and I just- I just started using the excuse that I couldn’t eat until I finished the project, and then I’d ‘forget’ and move on to the next one. But now- I get too anxious and I feel sick when I eat. Like I don’t deserve it- I don’t-” 

“Oh, Tony.” Steve breathed. He gathered the now shaking genius tighter in his arms. “It’s alright, Sweetheart. We’ll figure it out together, okay? We’ll work on it together.” 

The two stood there for a while, holding onto each other like lifelines. 

Finally Tony pulled away slightly, his eyes sparkling with determination, happiness and mischief. 

“Alright, trouble will be there tomorrow, right? How about instead of being a bunch of sad sacks right now, we go join the party, Cap?” he smirked. 

“Sounds good, Shellhead.” 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAYYYY! WE'VE GOT THOR, LOKI, AND BRUCEY-BEAR! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this update! Writing a little bit of happiness and peace for Tony was like a balm for my soul. 
> 
> On a more serious note, I know that the Tony in this story is traumatized and has hit rock-bottom since the Civil War, but is Tony too out of character to be believable here? My goal was to tell a story of healing and rebuilding, but I never wanted to disparage the heart or character of my favorite hero, and some recent comments have me nervous that I may have. 
> 
> I'd welcome any feedback or idea of how to improve, as I enjoy more than anything sharing my little brain-child with you all! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading as always!  
> Stay safe and happy, friends!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-Thanksgiving shenanigans, and Tony's life may be changed forever in the blink of an eye.

The next morning was slow in the Compound. After staying up late playing games (and in most cases, drinking) almost everyone slept in.

Luckily Friday was one step ahead and already had the coffee brewing as most of them shuffled into the kitchen. 

As they picked at the overflowing breakfast tray, the atmosphere was quiet but content. Most of the guests had agreed to stay the night, only Sam’s Mom and the Pyms leaving. 

“Well, I think a meeting is in order- Thor and Banner have a lot to catch up on.” Tony finally advised. “But while we do that, why don’t the rest of you sort through the Christmas Decorations?” he suggested. 

Immediately everyone perked up. 

“Yes!” Peter cheered. 

“Boss, Mr. Keener is on the phone for you.” Friday announced. 

Tony lit up. “Thanks, Babygirl. Show everyone who needs it to the conference room, please. Everyone else to the decorations! I’ll be there in just a few!” Making his way out of the crowded kitchen, Tony connected to the call. 

“Hey, kid!” he greeted brightly, connecting to the video call. 

“Hi, Tony.” Harley’s voice was deeper than Tony remembered, and a wave of nostalgia hit him despite the mischievous grin looking the same. “Sorry I missed your message yesterday- it was pretty busy. But happy Thanksgiving!” 

“No worries, I hope it was a good kind of busy?”

“Yeah, Mom’s got a new boyfriend who’s actually pretty cool, and he joined us for Thanksgiving, which was why I couldn’t come to yours.” 

“That’s fine, Harls. Just wanted to check in. But maybe all of you could come up for Christmas? It’s been a while.” 

“Yeah! I’ve gotta make sure the Mechanic is still on top of his stuff and not suffering from dementia.” he teased. 

“Are you calling me old you little shit?” Tony gasped, though the smile in his voice still was apparent. 

“Not at all! Not at all! Just...distinguished.” Harley didn't bother to hide his smirk. 

“You’re still a cheeky pain in the ass, you know that?” Tony grinned. 

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Damn straight. Tony agreed. “Keep in touch, okay? And let me know when you guys can make it up.” 

“Will do! Bye, Tony!” 

“Bye, kid.”

Tony was still in a cheerful mood and feeling more like himself when he reached the conference room. 

“Sorry about that.” Tony said sheepishly. 

“So, what’s going on?” Bruce finally asked. “I have to assume some shit went down.” 

He met Tony’s eyes. 

“Yeah, there was a bit of a...breakup.”

“What are you talking about?” 

To the best of their ability, the Avengers explained the Accords, the fallout, and Bucky’s return. They skirted around Siberia, only reviewing the basics and not going into detail.

“So, yeah, things are different, but we’re working through it.” Steve finished. 

Bruce and Thor were lost for words. 

“I didn’t think my shield brothers capable of this.” Thor finally spoke, his voice soft. “But the circumstances being what they were- this is a travesty. And I deeply regret being away during this troubling time.” 

“Don’t blame yourself, Point Break.” Tony patted his shoulder. “I don’t know if there was anything anyone could’ve done to stop it. I mean, none of us intended for or wanted things to get that far.” 

“Jesus, Tones.” Bruce said. “We still wish we could’ve been there for you all.” 

“You were certainly missed.” Steve agreed.

“You boys have been busy, too.” Natasha added. “Thor, what happened with your sister? And Dr. Banner, you were stuck as the Hulk?” 

Bruce winced at the formal acknowledgement but, along with Thor, filled the others in on everything that had happened. 

Tony felt sick and clammy again at the mention of Thanos, but quickly shut that out. 

“We must not underestimate Thanos.” Thor warned. “He has only begun, but we must come together and stop him.” 

“We will.” Steve’s Captain America face was serious and determined. 

“But for now, as friend Stark suggested we shall decorate for Yuletide!” Thor’s joyful spirit was back and, unable to resist the charm, everyone followed him out. 

“Tony?” Bruce stuck behind, hoping to catch the genius alone.

“What can I do for you, Banner?” Tony asked, his bright grin convincing to everyone who didn’t know him well. 

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked. “I can’t imagine how hard that was-” 

“I’m doing just fine.” Tony stiffened a little. “Some days are better than others, but-” 

“Tony, I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” 

“Bruce, it is what it is.” Tony shrugged. “We can’t change anything now.” 

“But Tony, you’ve changed, and I want-”

“Bruce, you left.” Tony said softly. “I can totally understand- hell, sometimes I wish I could just disappear and forget everything. Keep myself from hurting others...But you left. I didn’t even know if you were still alive. And I just- I can’t.” he shook his head. “I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend things haven’t changed. You were gone, and life moved on.” 

Bruce dropped his head. “I’m sorry.” 

“I am too, Bruce. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re back. I missed my Science Bro. The lab is always open to you.” 

Tony turned when he was in the doorway. “And Bruce? Nat hides it well, but you leaving was hard on her too. If I were you I’d do some groveling.” 

Bruce nodded. “I plan to. I never wanted to hurt her. Or you and the others. I just couldn’t-” 

“I get it, buddy. And I’ll do whatever I can to help.” 

“Thanks, Tony. I missed you too.” 

“Now let’s get festive, yeah?” 

Bruce chuckled. “Yeah, let’s get festive.” 

* * * * * 

The group of heroes, used to coordinating in the field under intense circumstances, apparently weren’t as coordinated when it came to decorating. It was an all day affair to get the entire Compound decorated. 

“Hold it level!” Bruce called to Tony and Clint who were hanging a massive garland over the archway into the family room. 

“I AM holding it level!” Clint cried, glaring at the returned scientist. 

“Down a pinch on your end, Clint!” Then when Clint lowered it, “Not that much!” 

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” The archer finally burst out.

At the sound of a laughing audience, he turned on the ladder and flipped them off. 

“Clint, pay attention or you’ll fall!” Steve barked. 

“Cap, who do you think I am?” the archer asked, offended. 

The Captain sighed. “Fair enough, just don’t get hurt, please? The last thing we need is a hospital visit.” 

“Kay, Dad!” Clint called back cheerfully.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Natasha, do you want to help me with the garland in the next room?”

“Nah, I wanna watch this.” she chuckled, her eyes on her best friend.

“I’ll help you, Mr. Captain America, Sir!” 

“Perfect, thanks Peter!” 

“NO STICKING IT WITH WEBS, KID.” 

“Aww but Mr. Stark-!” 

“Nope!” 

“I got him, Tony.” Steve laughed, grabbing Peter and the garland.

A second later from the next room over a loud crash was heard. 

“Apologies!” Vision called immediately. 

Tony dropped his head. “We work well together as a team, but man we’re almost TOO good at making messes.” 

The rest of the afternoon passed similarly; with Peter crawling all over the ceiling and walls to hang the trickier decorations (to everyone’s stress), Steve trying to coordinate while obviously unsure of what to do, Tony trying to come up with solutions to technical issues while overseeing everything, and Clint struggling with untangling/hanging lights (a laughing Natasha following his every move). Bruce and Thor stood back, jumping in when necessary, mostly entertained and, in Thor’s case, eating Poptarts. Wanda and Vision, after the incident, stopped and mostly assisted with their magic, making sure nothing dropped or broke. 

Unbelievably, the job got done with no injuries and they called it a night early, all retreating to their floors to sleep.

But rest was not to be had as the sound of the Avengers alarm woke them bright and early. 

Sighing, Tony suited up while getting information from Friday. 

“Tony, what do we have?” Steve asked when they gathered. 

“Looks like a group angry at the Avengers are holding a whole block hostage with stolen weapons and demanding to speak to Cap.”

At Steve’s curious look, Tony shrugged. “You’re the leader.” 

“Let’s get going.” 

“We’re getting out of bed early for a couple of thugs with guns?” Natasha grumbled, tying her hair back.

“We have to show them we’re a team again. If they speak with one of us, they speak with all of us.” Cap said. 

Wanda sighed. “That’s fair. Well, let’s go get some bad guys.” 

Unfortunately, the bad guys in question were not expecting all the Avengers to show up and panicked when they spotted the group of heroes, unleashing fire near the team or their hostages. A few of them tried dragging hostages in front of them as they tried to leave the area and escape.

Screaming and sirens soon filled the air and the Avengers leapt into action, spreading out around the block, communicating through the comms. Before long the gunmen were dealt with. Sam and Tony spread out in the skies, alerting the others to the gunmens location. Cap worked with the police, trying to get word to negotiate and release the hostages peacefully despite the gunfire. Clint was staking out on the rooftops with Thor, both trying to get a good shot. Bucky and Natasha were busting onto the scene with Wanda and Vision giving them as much cover and shield as they could. Scott shrunk to ant size and tried to surprise the gunmen, able to disarm quite a few of them. After what felt like hours but was closer to a half hour, the situation was contained. Two hostages and one of the gunmen had been injured by stray bullets or debris, ambulances arriving everywhere on the block. One young woman was the only casualty, having been shot in her midsection by an escaping gunmen, her body left laying on the sidewalk. Steve and Bucky watched and assisted as a paramedic lay a white sheet over her and carried her off. They followed to a group of police officers who worked with them and agreed to let the Avengers sweep the area before cleanup.

Steve had the team spread out among the few blocks, scouring for any hidden weapons or gunmen. 

“Team? Check in.” Steve’s voice came over the comms, giving Bucky a nod.

“I’m alright- just being looked over by Bruce.” Natasha said, sounding a bit out of breath but clearly relieved the situation had not called for a Code Green. 

“Sam and I are all set, Cap!” Scott offered brightly. 

“Yep, all good!” Sam confirmed. 

“I’m coming down from the roof.” Clint called. 

“Aye, let me give you a lift.” Thor offered. 

“Wanda and I are currently convening with Natasha and Bruce.” Vision supplied. 

“Tony?” Steve prompted. 

But Tony didn’t answer. 

* * * * * 

A few blocks away, Tony finally landed on the ground. 

“Boss, comm systems are down, and due to gunfire and weapons fired, there is extensive damage to the left side-” 

“I know, thanks Babygirl.” Tony sighed. 

He was distracted, however, by the shrill sound of a baby crying. 

“Friday?” he asked. 

“In the bush, sir.” 

Tony raced to the bushes at the corner of the street and pulled them apart to find a baby carrier hidden deep within them. In the carrier, a tiny baby girl was crying her heart out. 

“Hey.” Tony breathed. Carefully he disentangled the carrier and lifted it out of the bushes. The baby continued to cry, tears streaming down her tiny face, and Tony felt his heart clench. 

“Hey, it’s okay, little one! It’s okay!” he cooed, desperately trying to console the child. 

“Sir, her temperature seems to be low. She’s too cold.” 

Tony cursed under his breath.

Exiting the suit, he bent down and unclipped her from the carrier, gently picking her up and cradling her to his chest. He grabbed the blanket from the bottom of the carrier and wrapped it around her tightly, bouncing her gently. 

“Where’s your Mommy or Daddy?” he wondered. “Shhh, it’s okay. Everything is okay. I’ve got you, yes I do!” he hummed quietly. 

“Tony!” he suddenly heard shouting. 

The Avengers, naturally led by Steve, raced around the corner. They all stopped dead when they spotted the genius cradling a baby and holding a finger to his lips. 

“Tony?” Steve asked, relief and curiosity in his voice. 

“I’m okay, Steve.” Tony assured him quietly. “She was left in the bushes- someone hid her.” he explained to the awestruck team. 

Finally the little girl’s piercing cries died down to soft whimpers. Tony tucked her right up by his neck and the little girl’s tiny hands latched on. The warmth and comfort of skin-to-skin contact immediately settled her down, and soon her eyes fluttered shut and didn’t open as she fell asleep.

“Should we take her to the hospital?” he asked. “I don’t know how long she’s been there.” 

Grimly the others nodded. 

“Alright, you all can go home, I’ll meet you guys there.” 

“I don’t feel right leaving you without backup.” Steve frowned. 

“I’ll go with.” Natasha offered. 

Tony nodded and wordlessly Natasha grabbed the carrier while Tony walked alongside her with the baby. 

Soon enough both Tony and Natasha were in the waiting room, Tony still holding the baby. 

When the nurses brought them into the exam room, she had Tony put her on the table. Immediately she began to fuss, and soon the baby’s wailing filled the room. The nurse calmly tried to soothe her. 

“Well, she clearly has a healthy set of lungs in her.” she grinned, making the two chuckle. “Could I have someone hold her while I examine her eyes, ears, and nose?” 

Tony instantly reached out for her and gathered her up. Suddenly her cries stopped. 

The nurse chuckled. “Looks like she knows who her savior is!” 

Tony smiled, unable to stop himself from cuddling her closer. 

“Well, she seems to be in good health!” The nurse finally stated. “I’m unable to tell her vaccination history without knowing who she is yet, but everything else seems fine. Thank you for bringing her in!” 

“Of course.” Tony nodded. 

A policeman came in and they discussed how they found her. Tony confirmed where and how she was discovered, and the policeman thanked him, telling him they could keep him updated if or when they found her parents (which Tony gratefully accepted). 

“She’ll be very safe here.” the policeman assured him. “You saved her life today, Mr. Stark. I’ll be sure to let you know what we find.” 

“Thank you, Officer.” Tony shook his hand. 

He gave the little baby one last tickle, and, taking Nat’s arm, the two went outside to where Happy was waiting with the car. Nat, who hadn’t spoken much at the hospital, watched Tony’s gaze stay fixed on the hospital as the car pulled away.

“You didn’t want to leave her, did you?” she asked softly. 

Tony met her eyes, and she was surprised at the torn emotion in them. 

He shook his head wordlessly. 

“If it helps, you were great with her. You’d be an amazing Dad, Tony.” 

Tony scoffed. “Not so sure about that. Not like I had the best example.” 

“Well I think Peter would disagree. And that boy from Tennessee. You’re not your father, Tony. Don’t let him take more away from you. And remember you were your mother’s son too. When all this Avenger stuff is over for you, if it’s what you really want, I could see you with the white picket fence and swingset.” 

“Thanks, Tash.” Tony smiled wistfully. “And Nat? You’re not a monster. You couldn’t help how and where you grew up. But the fact that you’re here, doing what you do, is amazing. And you can’t pretend with me, I know why you came with me. And you’d make a damn good Mom, Agent.” 

Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat and then lay her head on his shoulder. 

“We may be broken, but we’re broken together.” Tony kissed the top of her head. “At least we’re together.” he held her hand as they got in the car to go home.

The few days after that Tony spent doing anything and everything to distract himself. He finished at least three projects and started two more, organized a Christmas Gala, and actually attended some S.I. meetings. 

Tony was by himself in the penthouse four days after when Steve found him. 

“Hey, Tony.” 

“Hi there.” Tony gave him a strained smile. 

“Still haven’t heard back, huh?” Steve asked sympathetically, taking in the mess that was Tony’s workshop. 

“No! I’m assuming they found her parents, but- she was so small, Steve.” he dropped his head. 

“I know.” Steve lay his hand on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Do you think I should call?” he asked. 

Steve shrugged. “If it’ll give you peace of mind.” 

“If I don’t hear back by this afternoon I’ll call.” Tony decided. 

He continued to get work done and by the time lunch passed, he’d forgotten to eat but was distracted when Friday informed him he had a call. 

Heart starting to pound, he told her to connect the call. 

“Hello, Mr. Stark. It’s Officer Whitaker. How are you?” 

“Very well, Sir, and you?” 

“Not too bad. I was calling to follow up on the child you found-” 

“How is she?” Tony couldn’t help but cut in. 

The officer laughed. “She’s doing alright. Would you be able to come in to the station so I can fill you in?” 

“Absolutely. When.” 

“Say in an hour?” 

“I’ll be there.” 

Tony’s mind raced, trying to come up with why he’d been called. 

Was she sick or hurt? Could they not find her parents? Had she been abandoned? 

The genius was jittery by the time he walked into the police station. He checked in and soon the officer greeted him. 

“Good to see you, Mr. Stark. Let me take you back here.” They shook hands and Tony was led to his office. 

“Can I get you a coffee or anything?” the policeman asked as they sat down. 

“Just water would be great, thanks.” The billionaire felt too on edge for coffee. 

Finally the officer sat down and pushed a file over to Tony.

Tony opened it as the policeman started speaking.

“Her name is Morgan Brantley, seven months old. Father unknown and not on the birth certificate. Her mother was Marissa Brantley.” 

“Morgan.” Tony repeated under his breath in awe.

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a babyyyy! YAYYYY!   
> Despite Tony not being with Pepper, you didn't think I'd leave Morgan out, did you?! 
> 
> Excited to see how this will change the dynamic of Tony/Steve's relationship and Tony's relationship with the team! 
> 
> Do we love it? Hate it? Too predictable/mushy? 
> 
> I appreciate every single reader and every single comment more than you know!   
> Stay safe and happy, friends!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a choice to make; family and friends make that decision all the more confusing and difficult.

“Wait, was? Her mother WAS Marissa Brantley?” Tony suddenly registered what the officer had said, a lump forming in his throat. Then he jolted with a sudden realization. “Wait, that wasn’t-?” 

Officer Whitaker cleared his throat. “Four days ago, Marissa was walking home and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was caught up in the tangle of dealers you Avengers fought. She was terrified and attempted to hide Morgan in the bushes so she wouldn’t be found. Marissa left the area to lead them away from the baby. She clearly planned to go back for her daughter, but, unfortunately, was the only casualty of the incident.” he explained. 

Tony felt his heart drop. 

“Unfortunately she doesn’t have any next of kin. Marissa didn’t have any recognized family and hadn’t officially named any godparents. So she unfortunately has to be put into the system.” 

“No.” Tony said. “There has to be another way.” 

The man looked at him with sympathy. “There’s not much else to do besides hope she gets adopted while there.” 

Tony shook his head. 

“What if I adopted her?” he asked suddenly. 

“Mr. Stark, the process is-” 

“I’ll do whatever I have to do. I won’t let her be put in the system like that.” 

“Mr. Stark, it won’t be easy given your status and...occupation. Some people put too much emphasis on history and previous behavior as well. To be honest with you, I personally think you’d take the best care of that little girl. But the public will make it difficult.” 

“I don’t care. I was raised to ignore the public’s general opinion of me, and I never let it influence me. Especially after Iron Man. I’d like to move ahead with the process.” the billionaire said firmly. 

“Alright, then.” Officer Whitaker’s eyes were full of respect. “Then if you’re okay with sticking around, we can get a social worker to start.” 

“Absolutely.” 

While Tony waited he had Friday pull up information about babies. Reading a lot, he got things in place and started working with Friday. Together they pulled up diagrams of the Compound and began baby-proofing common areas. They ordered a bunch of equipment and suddenly it hit him. 

He just decided to become a Dad. 

He was attempting to be responsible for a little human. 

“Sir?” Friday asked in his ear. “Boss, I recommend you take a deep breath. You are at risk for hyperventilation.” 

“What did I do? What did I do?” he repeated under his breath. 

But suddenly the door opened and a professional-looking woman entered the room. And in her arms-

“Morgan.” Tony breathed. 

The baby was painfully cute, little chubby cheeks and soft wisps of brown hair covering her head. She was dressed in tiny jeans, a soft sweater with Christmas trees, and tiny booties. 

Tony’s heart stopped and suddenly nothing else mattered. 

“Hi there.” he waved, capturing her attention. 

Her curious brown eyes found his and stole his breath. 

“Hi, Sweetheart.” he cooed. “How are you?” 

Tony forced his gaze away from the tiny girl to greet the social worker. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” she shook his hand.

“The pleasure is mine, Ms…?”

“Brown.” she supplied. “Helen Brown.” 

“Ms. Brown.” 

“So I understand you hope to adopt this little one?” she shifted Morgan. 

“Yes, that would be correct.” Tony grinned. 

“And I understand you were the one to find her?” 

“I was.” he confirmed. 

“Okay, let’s get started.” 

They talked for a while. 

Tony spoke honestly and openly, telling her why he wanted to be a father, his worries of repeating his father’s mistakes but desire not to do so, and his understanding of being raised by a celebrity and the public’s opinion.

He demonstrated his new knowledge on babies and toddlers and showed her his plans for baby-proofing the Compound.

The entire time his eyes kept trailing back over to Morgan in her carrier, utterly smitten. 

“You can hold her if you want.” Helen said with a knowing grin. 

“Yes, please.” Tony was already standing and reaching for her. 

He fumbled with the straps and then gently lifted her into his arms. 

He sat her on his lap, bouncing her lightly. 

“Hey there! How are you, Sweet Pea?” he tickled her tummy.

The baby grinned and then let out a giggle. 

Tony gasped, immediately addicted to the sound. “Oh, is someone happy today?” he tickled her more. 

Helen watched with a smile, seeing how the tiny girl had the billionaire wrapped around her little finger. 

“Well, if you two don’t have any further questions for me.” she finally stood. 

“No, thank you so much.” Tony stood to shake her hand, shifting Morgan to his hip. 

“I’ll get paperwork drawn up and then you’ll have your trial start so she’ll be all yours.” she informed him. “If you’re as good with her as you seem to be there should be no problem with going forward with the adoption. I’m assuming you have a good legal and press team for the inevitable media storm?” 

“Absolutely.” Tony confirmed. He lifted Morgan up to nuzzle her, kissing her forehead and whispering a sweet goodbye. He got her settled in her carrier and then, with one last tummy tickle, handed her to the woman. “Thank you, Ms. Brown.” 

“Thank YOU, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony followed her out, thanking the policeman as well. 

“Babygirl, go ahead and order all of those supplies.” he asked, getting into his bright red Audi. 

As he tore down the highway he took a deep breath.

“Fri, call Ms. Potts, would you?” 

“Of course, Boss.” 

A moment later Pepper answered. “Hello?” 

“Hi, Pep.” 

“Tony!” Pepper sounded pleased to hear from him, and it made the nervous pit in his stomach grow. “What’s going on? You never call at this time.” 

“I, uh, well...Pep, I sort of did something.” 

“Oh god, are you okay?” she immediately sounded on edge. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m great, actually. I, uh….you remember I told you about the baby I found on our last mission?”

“Yes…” Pepper replied slowly, clearly trying to connect the dots. 

“Well I sorta got a call this afternoon, and….well…” he faltered. “I kinda signed up to adopt her.” 

There was a moment of stunned silence so Tony quickly began to explain. “She doesn’t have any family, Pep. Her Mom hid her to protect her but she was killed before we could stop them. They were going to put her into foster care. She’s so sweet and so tiny, I couldn’t-”

“Tony, take a breath.” Pepper cut in, her voice soothing. “I’m not upset, just surprised. You sure you’ve thought this through?” 

“It just feels right, Pep. From the moment I held her she just...she feels like she’s mine, you know? I can’t let her be put into the system.” 

“And you really want to be her father?” she asked. 

“More than anything. I’m scared shitless, and I don’t feel even remotely ready. But when I see her, I just know it’s something I need to do.”

“Well then you have your answer.” she replied. “And you’ll have my support the entire way. I’m really proud of you, Tony.” 

“I wanted to warn you because I know the media storm that’s coming, and-” 

“Don’t you worry about that.” Pepper said firmly. “We’ll handle that, get that out of your head.” 

“Pepper, if this goes through- I mean, if it works...would you be her godmother?” 

Pepper didn’t answer, and the longer the silence the more worried Tony got until he almost retracted the question. 

Finally Pepper spoke, and her voice was thick with emotion. “I’d be honored, Tony. Thank you.” 

“You’ll be the greatest Auntie ever, Pep.” he suddenly felt choked up himself. 

Pepper let out a watery laugh. 

“She’ll certainly be spoiled.” she agreed. “Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s her name?”

“Morgan.” Tony beamed. 

“Morgan.” Pepper repeated, sounding almost as in love as Tony. “Well, Morgan got lucky, Tony, and she got the best Daddy ever.” 

“Thanks, Pep. For everything.” 

“You’re always welcome, Tony.” 

After promising Pepper he’d let her know if he needed anything they hung up as Tony arrived back at the Compound. 

His nerves grew all over again when he realized he had to tell the Avengers he’d just signed up to be a father, and more than likely a baby would soon be living in their space. 

He was somewhat relieved when he found all of them together in the lounge. 

“Hey, Tony.” Everyone greeted happily. 

“You finally hear back? Friday said you went back down to the station.” Bucky asked. 

“Yeah...about that. Well, her Mom was killed before I could get there that day. She was the one casualty. That’s why she hid her in the bushes. She doesn’t have any other family-” 

“Oh good lord, you adopted her, didn’t you?” Nat asked. 

“Yeah…”

“What? Tony, that’s- that’s crazy!” Clint’s jaw dropped. 

“I know-” 

“Tony, being a parent isn’t just something you decide to do on a whim! Have you even thought this through? Did you take into account your lifestyle; your celebrity status, your job, your relationship with the press, your past history?” he demanded. 

“I- I have, actually.” Tony shrunk under the scrutiny. 

“And you’re okay with putting her through that? The media circus, the gossip, constantly endangering yourself and leaving her parentless again?” Clint’s voice was dark.

“Clint. Lay off.” Bucky spoke up. 

“No! He has to realize how big of a responsibility being a parent is. He can’t just rush into this- this a child’s life, not a trial run.” then the archer took a deep breath. “Sorry. I know you’re trying to do the right thing. You always are. But Tony, you shouldn’t be- can’t be- doing this just because you feel guilty for her mother’s death.” 

“I know that.” Tony said quietly. “Clint, this all happened quickly, I know, but I’ve been thinking about being a parent for years, and in the last few days I’ve really been serious and taking everything into consideration. This baby fell into my lap and she just feels like mine. My responsibility, mine to love, to take care of…” he trailed off, suddenly unsure. “Do you honestly think being raised by me would be bad for her? Would hurt her?

When no one answered, his heart sunk. 

“Oh.” he breathed. 

“Tony, it’s not you.” Natasha said. "It's truly not you." 

“But any child raised in a media circus- well, YOU know, you DID it. And the Avengers-” Sam tried to point out objectively. 

“No, I understand. You’re probably right, I-” he stopped. “Fri, put a hold on that shipment.” 

“Boss, are you sure?” Friday sounded disapproving. 

“Yes, Babygirl. Just hold it until I make a decision.” he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly desperate to be anywhere but there. “Well, I’ve got things to do. Catch you all later.” he said, practically running out of the room.

The room was silent for a moment until Bucky finally spoke. “Did we just manage to talk Tony out of a major life decision that could make him happy for a change?” he asked, his voice tight.

“Yes.” Bruce said. 

“What the hell was that, Clint?” Bucky demanded. 

“All I could think about was how badly I’ve failed my own kids.” Clint’s voice was dead, guilt evident all over his face.

“I didn’t mean to insinuate he was the wrong person to raise a child.” Natasha sounded numb. “I just didn’t know if he’d taken into account-”

“Tony always takes everything into account.” Bruce cut in sharply. “Well, everything but his own safety and happiness. For god’s sake he just let us talk him out of adopting a child he loves.” 

Everyone cringed at that. 

“We keep screwing up.” Clint said softly. 

“Yeah.” they agreed. There was a long moment of horrified silence that was finally interrupted by the arrival of a blonde Super Soldier. 

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, reading the mood of the room. 

“We just made a gigantic mistake.” Sam announced.

“What happened? Is someone hurt?” 

“That baby. Tony had a meeting at the police station. And- Tony wants to adopt the baby.” Bruce told him. 

“What?” Steve’s jaw dropped. 

“He had just signed some initial paperwork and we-” Natasha started.

“We were so shocked...” Sam stammered out. 

“We may have made him rethink his decision and make him feel like he couldn’t be a good father.” 

“What.” Steve looked like someone had slapped him before his eyes and jaw hardened. 

“We seriously didn’t mean to we just needed to know he thought it through-” 

“It’s such a big responsibility-” 

“It was so quick!” 

"I never knew he wanted to-"

"I thought it was total guilt, he always puts too much on himself-" 

“What was said.” Steve demanded. 

Without prompting, Friday played the conversation back, Steve paling and starting to shake the more he heard.

“I’m going to talk to him.” Steve decided the moment the recording ended, too worried about Tony to deal with his anger at his other team members. 

Knowing Tony would be in his workshop, Steve headed there but was stopped when Friday said “Sir, Boss has put the lab into blackout.” 

The soldier’s heart sank, and he had a feeling there was a long road ahead to right the wrong. 

* * * * * 

Tony’s heart was all the way down by his feet by the time Pepper arrived. He’d been up all night, completely torn and unable to stop thinking about his conversation with the Avengers. And as far as he could see, he would feel awful no matter what he decided. 

Pepper greeted him with a bright, excited smile. 

“Is she here yet?” she asked breathlessly. 

Tony shook his head, and as Pepper got a closer look at him her smile dimmed. 

“Tony, is everything okay?” 

“I don’t know, Pep.” he admitted, and Pepper’s eyes widened; Tony never admitted to not being okay.

But they were interrupted by Friday announcing the arrival of Ms. Brown and the baby. 

As soon as she got in sight of the baby, Pepper gasped. “Tony, she’s gorgeous! Oh my gosh she’s so precious!” 

“Ms. Brown, this is my CEO and right hand Pepper Potts. Pep, this is Ms. Brown.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Likewise.” 

“So, Tony, I wanted to discuss-” 

“Is this right?” Tony blurted. 

“Pardon?” 

“Do I have to do this now? The adoption. Can I- is there a way I can think about it more?” He had a lump in his throat that made it hard to speak. “I want what's best for her more than anything. And I have to make sure that’s me. I want- no, I NEED her to have a good life. The best life. And if I’m not the one who can give that to her, then I have to let her go.” 

“Mr. Stark...may I ask what has brought this on?” 

“Everyone I’ve spoken to- the few I’ve told- their initial response is ‘Are you sure you want to raise a child in the public eye?’ and now I’m remembering my childhood and wondering if maybe I would’ve been better off if I hadn’t been. I don’t want to ruin a child’s innocence or screw up their life. That’s never what I wanted."

“Tony, you can’t help who you are.” Pepper protested. “So, you shouldn’t be able to have a child just cause your last name is Stark? That’s unfair and ridiculous.” 

“But that’s the point. It’s not about me. Or what’s fair. This is about giving this little girl the best future possible.” Tony rubbed Morgan’s head. 

“And that thinking right there is what makes me believe that despite the hardships of being in the public eye, you are her best chance. You just demonstrated that you’re willing to sacrifice your   
own needs and desires for her. That’s a parent, Tony.” Ms. Brown said.

When Tony didn’t reply she sighed. “I can set up Morgan in the foster care system but delay any other adoption inquiries. For a short while. I can only stall for so long, so I do need you to make a decision as soon as possible. Is that understood?” 

“Yes.” Tony replied gravely. 

“Also, just so you’re warned, the foster home we have set up for her is in Massachusetts, because she’s so little and they have the best resources for her age. They’re willing to work with visitors, but they don’t have resources to get her here.” she warned. 

“I understand.” he said. “Is there any way I could say goodbye?” at both women’s disapproving expressions he quickly added. “For now at least.” 

Both of them left to give him a moment. When they were gone, Tony sat down, cradling Morgan close. 

“Hey, Sweet Pea.” he whispered, kissing her forehead, then her cheek. “God, you smell good.” for a moment he just held her close. “Honey, I want to be your Daddy so badly. If I thought without a doubt that was your best option, you have to know it would already be happening. But I have to make sure. Please forgive me, Morgan. You stole my heart, and I love you as my own. I’ll miss you very much. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” 

Before Tony could stop it he was crying, holding the little girl close as he rocked back and forth. 

Finally he gathered himself together and stood, shaky on his feet. 

Having clearly gotten word from Friday, both women returned. 

“All set?” Helen asked. 

“Yes.” Tony nodded. “Goodbye, Little Love.” he gave Morgan one last kiss and bid her and Helen goodbye. 

The minute they were alone Pepper pounced. 

“Was it the Avengers.” she demanded.

“Pep-” Tony sighed. 

“What did they say.” 

“It’s not important-” 

“The HELL it’s not important!” she hissed. “You just threw away your future-” 

“I still want it to work, Pep.” he said softly. “But I can’t be selfish. Not about this.” 

“But what they said changed everything.” she crossed her arms. “I’m sick of how they treat you.” 

“To be fair, I sprung it on them.” Tony defended. “They didn’t say anything to be malicious. They mostly just wanted to make sure I had thought it through.” 

Pepper shook her head. “I love you, Tony. And you deserve everything that makes you happy. You deserve happiness, Tony. Actual happiness.” 

The genius smiled and kissed her cheek. 

“You have to admit, she’s pretty cute.” he finally said. 

Pepper groaned. “Oh my god the cutest! Those chubby cheeks!” 

The two friends began gushing over the baby, and despite his heavy heart, Tony felt a flutter of hope. 

* * * * * 

Steve was still sweaty from the gym when he ran into the others in the kitchen and they were cornered by Pepper.

Having expected it, none of them bat an eye when the furious redhead marched into the kitchen. 

“How bad is it?” Natasha asked sadly.

“Well he just stopped the process and sent her off to foster care.” Pepper replied bluntly. “Does that answer your question?” 

“He what?” Steve breathed. 

Clint paled, and Natasha cursed. The others hung their heads in shame and horror.

“Yeah. You all managed to convince him that wanting to save and raise a child was selfish. That just because of his last name he’s not fit to raise a child. That he doesn’t deserve a family. So to answer your question, Natasha? It’s bad.” 

Natasha’s hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob, Clint looked like he might be sick, and Steve cursed, angry tears springing to his eyes. 

“Pepper, help us fix this. Don’t forgive us, fine, but help us fix this.” Bruce begged, his voice shaky. 

“I tried to talk to him last night, right after- he put his lab in blackout.” Steve bit his lip.

“I took away his chance to have a child.” Clint said hollowly. “I can’t believe-” he looked up, meeting Pepper’s eye. “He has to have the child.” 

“She’s already gone, Clint.” Pepper sighed, her anger giving way to defeat as she saw how awful they felt. “He hasn’t called off everything, more like he’s put it on pause. But he’s overthinking everything now, and I know from past experience with him that erasing that doubt from his mind is damn near impossible.” 

“So what do we do?” Steve asked.

“I’d start by talking with him and apologizing. He’s going to say you did nothing wrong, but it’s a start. Morgan doesn’t belong in foster care.” 

“Morgan?” Steve asked. “That’s her name?” 

“Yes.” Pepper said sadly. “You should see how beautiful she is, especially when he’s making her smile. I just pray he can be convinced she needs him as much as he needs her. I’ve never seen Tony so enthralled. I hope you all can make this right.” 

“We won’t stop trying.” Steve assured her.

When she’d gone Steve turned to the two assassins. “I have to go find him. I can’t-” shaking his head, Steve rushed off. Steve had barely spoken to any of the others since he found out what happened, too angry to want to face them. 

He was pleasantly surprised to find he still had access to Tony’s private floor.

He found the genius in his room, laying on his bed. 

“Knock knock.” he awkwardly stood in the doorway. 

“Hi, Steve.” Tony greeted him with a halfhearted smile. 

“Tony, I heard what happened. I’m so sorry. I wish I’d been there last night. You have to know I would’ve backed you up. You can do anything you put your mind to, and you would be one hell of a father. Honey, I think you just surprised them. They feel awful. I can promise you they never meant to talk you out of adopting Morgan. Especially not if she’s what you really want. Is this baby something you really want, Tony?” 

“Steve, I don’t- I can’t- Please don’t make me talk about her. I can’t talk about her right now.” the smaller man’s eyes squeezed shut and a few tears leaked out. 

“Oh, Tony.” Steve reached out. 

“Steve, please-”

“What, Sweetheart? What do you need?” 

“Distract me? Make me forget?” Tony asked coyly, biting his lip. 

Steve smirked, allowing the change of subject. He was fully aware Tony was not in the space to talk about it yet. “What ever do you mean by that? Maybe if you elaborate and ask nicely...” 

“Steveeeee.” Tony whined, leaning up. 

Chuckling, Steve took mercy and leaned down to press his lips to Tony’s. As always, Steve felt addicted to Tony’s kisses and pulled him in to hold him close. 

Tony melted into him, sighing with pleasure. 

“You sure know how to kiss, Soldier.” he purred, leaving a trail of kisses down Steve’s jawline to his neck, making Steve shiver. 

“Tony” he gasped, tightening his hold on the smaller man. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Tony asked, pulling back. 

“No.” Steve pulled him back, stealing another kiss. “But I believe the deal was a distraction for you.” he ran his hand under Tony’s shirt, running across his abs. 

Tony shuddered. 

“I think this needs to come off, don’t you?” Steve’s fingers fiddled with the bottom of Tony’s shirt and he chuckled when Tony eagerly lifted his arms, allowing Steve to take his shirt off. When Steve had discarded the shirt, Tony immediately linked his arms around Steve’s neck, kissing him deeply. Suddenly he hooked his leg around Steve’s waist, straddling him and cradling his head as he kissed him. 

“Your turn.” he whispered, quickly removing Steve’s shirt. 

As he stared at Steve’s torso he let out a curse. 

“Shit.” he breathed. “You’re so gorgeous.” his fingers traced the defined lines of Steve’s six pack. “God, you’re perfect Steve. What did I do to deserve you?” 

“Tony.” Steve gasped as Tony lay kisses across his collarbone.

Tony ignored him, kissing, licking, and nipping at every bare spot of skin he could reach.

“You deserve to be with someone as beautiful as you are.” he murmured. 

“Tony, you have to know you’re gorgeous.” Steve panted. 

“I used to be.” Tony corrected with a sad smile. “I’m old, honey. I’m not as built as I used to be, I’m turning grey, and my body is a mess of scars.” 

Tony’s regretful expression quickly changed to surprise when he suddenly found himself being lifted up. 

Steve lifted Tony off of him quickly, flipping them so Tony’s back hit the mattress with a soft “Oof!” 

Steve hovered over Tony, his weight gently pushing Tony into the comforter. 

“You listen to me, and you listen good, Tony Stark.” he leaned down and nuzzled into Tony’s neck, finally sinking his teeth into the skin, making Tony gasp. Steve’s tongue immediately ran over the mark soothingly, as if in apology. 

“You are gorgeous, Tony.” he ran his hand gently across Tony’s torso, tracking the scars around the arc reactor.

“It detaches.” he shivered at the gentle touch. He reached up to remove it, but Steve caught his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“It reminds me you’re still here. Despite everything, you’re here with me. And a hero.” 

Steve continued tracing his scars, bending down to kiss and lick along the scar from Steve’s shield. The silent apology and emotion struck them both, and Tony brought Steve’s face to his. 

“I forgive you, Steve.” he met his eyes. 

The weight of guilt disappearing made Steve feel weak, and he let more of his weight fall onto Tony, the genius groaning in delight.

“Thank you.” Steve choked out, unable to stop himself from kissing the genius’ forehead.

Tony got goosebumps as Steve’s hands continued their journey. 

“Tony, these scars just show me how brave you are. How much you’ve survived. That you are a hero. Your whole story of redemption and survival and strength are in these scars. And to me, that’s as beautiful as it can get.” 

“Steve, I-” Tony cut off, suddenly overwhelmed. 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.” 

Steve froze and Tony’s eyes flew shut, not wanting to see the man’s reaction. His heart raced, and he felt sick. 

“Tony.” Steve breathed. “Sweetheart, can you look at me?” 

Positively aching at the nickname, Tony timidly looked into Steve’s blue orbs.

“Did you mean that, Tony?” Steve gently reached a hand up to stroke Tony’s hair. 

The engineer, not trusting himself to form words, just nodded. 

“I need to hear it, Tony.” 

“Yes, I meant it.” 

Steve released a breath. “I love you too, Tony. And no, I’m not just saying that. I love you.” 

Still laying over Tony, Steve reconnected their lips, his whole body on fire as they kissed. 

When the Super Soldier rocked his hips into Tony’s they both let out a moan. 

“Jesus, Steve.” Tony gasped as the blonde repeated the action. 

“I love you.” 

The two continued to share soft words of love as they kissed and touched and moved together, time fading away. 

If only for that moment, Tony felt like everything may be alright. 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update on this lovely Valentine's Day evening for all of you still reading and sticking with this story! 
> 
> I want to put a disclaimer out there that the Avengers were genuinely surprised and (unlike other times in this story) are REALLY not trying to be mean here. They unfortunately just don't live in Tony's head and think he's acting out of guilt/impulsiveness (which as much as I love him, he DOES do a lot).   
> No worries, though, Morgan doesn't belong with anyone else and many heart-to-hearts shall follow! We believe in hard work to get to a happily ever after in this house! After all, it makes it all the more fulfilling that way! :) 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! 
> 
> Stay safe and happy, friends! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks are had and decisions are made. Tony ends up with a child, but....is it who/how he thinks?

Tony woke up still in Steve’s arms, his mind fuzzy with some decent sleep, not remembering falling asleep in the first place. 

His heart burst as he watched the Super Soldier who was impossibly beautiful and looked more peaceful in sleep than Tony had ever seen him. 

Tony burrowed into the warmth, enjoying the lingering smell of Steve’s cologne and natural scent. 

Finally the blonde stirred, sleepy eyes meeting Tony’s. 

“Good morning.” he smiled at the genius.

“Morning.” Tony dropped a gentle kiss on Steve’s collarbone. 

Steve smiled and reached up to Tony’s neck, gently fingering the hickey’s he’d left there. Tony actually blushed at the reminder of their activities the night before, but the moment was ruined when Tony’s stomach growled. 

“Let’s go get you breakfast.” Steve laughed. 

Immediately Tony tensed, and Steve lay a soothing hand on his cheek. 

“Relax, Sweetheart. I’ll just make you something light. You don’t have to eat it all, but can you try?” 

Tony nodded hesitantly. 

Steve quickly made some simple scrambled eggs and toast. 

“While you try that I’ll start your coffee, how about that?” 

At the mention of coffee Tony perked up. 

Steve was pleased to see Tony finish the entire plate before making grabby hands for the coffee, making the blonde chuckle. 

“Boss, don’t forget your meeting.” Friday chimed in. 

“What meeting?” Steve asked curiously. 

Tony sighed. 

“For the Accords.” he explained. “We’re still weeding out the council and the amendments that were added.” 

“What can we do to help?” Steve asked, sounding determined. 

“Nothing yet.” the billionaire shook his head.

“We’ve let you do this on your own for far too long, Tony.” Steve protested. 

“Steve, please trust me on this. For now, I started this by myself and I need to finish this by myself. I need to do this. For myself. For the Avengers...” 

“If you need anything you’ll let me know?” 

Tony couldn’t suppress the smile as he promised to do that. He also couldn’t resist bouncing up on his toes to give Steve a quick kiss. 

“Well, I’d better get ready to face the music.” he turned towards the bathroom. 

Very soon he emerged from the shower freshly clean, smelling of cologne and dressed in an impeccable suit. 

“Have a good day, yeah?” He kissed Steve goodbye. 

He just stepped out of the elevator when Natasha found him. 

“Hi, Tony.” she greeted, her whole demeanor uncharacteristically meek. 

“Hey, Itsy Bitsy!” Tony replied with a genuine smile. 

“Can we talk?” she asked. 

“Absolutely, what about?” 

“Tony, I never wanted you to give up being a father. I- I was just really surprised at how quickly it all happened. I never knew you wanted a baby- and you had always told me how worried you were about repeating your father’s mistakes, and I-. I wanted to respect that because I can understand feeling lost in the parental guidance department, so how suddenly you did it-. You always feel guilty about things you can't change and I should have listened and asked instead of assuming you were only acting out of guilt. And...I was jealous. And I’m so sorry.” her eyes filled with tears. 

As the weight of her words fell on Tony, the genius sucked in a shocked breath. 

“Tash.” he sighed. “Come here.” he wrapped his arms around the small assassin. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t think of or consider that.” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. 

She shook her head. “I don’t even know if that’s something I want. To be a mother. But knowing I can’t-” 

“Nat. You would be an amazing Mom. You’re already an amazing Aunt to Clint’s kiddos. And you’re amazing with them.” 

“Tony, but you-” 

“You were right, Nat.” Tony shrugged. “No matter how badly I want to be her father, the reality is that I’m Tony Stark. She’d grow up with cameras in her face, people always saying their opinions of her father and his work, people scrutinizing her every movement.” 

“But she would have a father who loves her more than anything. That’s the most important thing. You both need each other.” Nat pressed. “Tony, I never meant that you would be a bad dad-” 

“Shh, I know.” he soothed her. “It’s okay.” 

“But it’s not.” she buried her face in his chest. “You gave her up.” 

“It was for the best.” 

“How can you say that?” Nat looked up. “Do you have any idea how many times growing up I wished I had a father like you?” 

“There’s someone out there for her who will-”

“Never love her like you will.” she said firmly. “We all owe you a major apology for pushing you into the biggest mistake.” she sighed before leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Please reconsider, Tony. Please. It’s about time you found some happiness.” 

Natasha’s words stuck with him all day. 

Throughout the next few days the Avengers all found him to apologize. 

The more people to find him the more uncomfortable he got until he almost snapped at Clint when the archer found him in the kitchen a few days later. 

The moment he spotted him Tony sighed. 

“Please tell me you’re not here to apologize.” he begged. “There’s nothing to apologize for! I’ve already told the others-” 

“Lila won’t speak to me.” The archer interrupted. 

“What?” 

“She’s...so angry with me. I can’t even blame her, really. Running off like that was as good abandoning her, and I- I swore to myself when she was born that I would always be there for her. And I failed. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, and there’s nothing in this whole world I love more than my children. The fact that I took that away from you kills me. I was feeling so sorry for myself and missing my little girl, so when you mentioned adopting a little baby, I just-. I was a total ass and should have given you the benefit of the doubt and listened. There’s no excuse for what I said, Tony. I know things are bad, but you are my friend, and I should have supported you. What I said about parenthood being a huge responsibility is true, and raising a child in the public eye is hard. But you are the person to make it work, Tony. You always put your loved ones first, and you take care of everyone without a thought to yourself, and if something or someone is hurting someone you love, you fix it. You always fix it, Tony. And you would be one hell of a good father.” 

Tony smiled. “Thank you, Clint. That really means a lot to me.” 

“I really mean it, Tony. Morgan is a lucky girl to have you.” 

The genius shook his head. “Legolas, you didn’t say anything I hadn’t already thought of. You were right. Morgan needs stability and normalcy, not all...this.” he waved around to indicate the whole Compound. 

“No, what she needs is someone to love her and protect her and guide her to be the best person she can be. And no one could do that for her better than you. Don’t let your fear diminish her chances of a good life.”

Trying not to get emotional, Tony settled for sarcasm instead. “Everyone here’s gotten so mushy.”

Clint shrugged. “Yeah, well, I think losing people and finding your way back to each other has that effect, Shellhead.” 

“You’re probably right.” Tony agreed. 

“I know I have a lot more apologies to give you, but this takes the cake and I had to say it, we can figure the rest out later. But...speaking of finding your way back to a loved one….what’s going on with you and Cap?” the archer smirked. 

Tony groaned. “SO not going there with you, Barton.” 

“Aww, no kissing and telling, Stark?” 

“My PlayBoy days are long over, Bird Brain.” 

“Shame, I was looking forward to all the dirty details-”

“Out!” Tony bellowed, pushing a now cackling Clint into the hallway. 

* * * * * 

Weeks flew by and the whole Compound was full of Christmas cheer even though everyone was still fairly busy with Avengers business and the Accords council. Tony was excited to gift Pepper a vacation for Christmas because Stark Industries was incredibly hectic and Tony hadn’t had much time to help. 

He had coordinated for everyone- including Harley- to come for the holiday amidst the chaos, and he’d been checking in on Morgan frequently. She was being taken care of but wasn’t sleeping well, which made her sick and fussy. He had a bunch of presents to send her for Christmas. 

The week of Christmas came fast and found Tony in his office trying to finish some work before everything shut down for the holidays. 

He was pleasantly surprised when Steve poked his head in. The two had been happily getting more serious and were considering finally being open with the team. 

“Hi there.” the engineer grinned. 

“Hi.” Steve smiled back, giving him a quick kiss. “I was wondering if you had a second? We need you.” 

“Sure…” Tony tilted his head curiously. He slipped his hand into Steve’s and followed him down to the lounge. His curiosity and apprehension grew when he saw that everyone- even Wanda and Vision- were there. 

“We have a surprise for you.” Bucky announced, beaming. 

“Umm, should I be scared?” he asked. 

“Well, we were contacted recently and were told that there was a certain little girl who was missing her Dad and was in need of love. And we figured it was time for us to properly meet the little baby who stole Tony Stark’s heart, so-” 

“Morgan is here?” Tony asked breathlessly. 

“She will be in about five minutes.” Clint chuckled. 

“How-why-?” 

“Because.” Pepper spoke up. “You’re not the only one to check up on her. And right now she’s sick and in need of love and undivided attention.” 

“And we didn’t really get to see her amidst the chaos. Only you, Nat and Pepper.” Scott added. When everyone looked at him in surprise he shrugged. “Babies are cute, we want to see her.” 

Tony’s heart was racing and a few minutes later Helen appeared with a carrier holding the person he knew he couldn’t be without ever again.

“Surprise.” she smiled. 

“Helen-” Tony was immediately at her side. 

She just gave him a knowing look. 

“Go ahead.” she nodded, and Tony was kneeling in front of the carrier. 

Morgan was sleeping, her cheeks pink from fighting off sickness, her tiny face peaceful in sleep. 

Tony ever so gently unstrapped her and lifted her into his arms, cradling her. 

As she was shifted, she let out a tiny whimper, slowly drifting awake. 

“Hi, baby.” Tony greeted softly, rocking her. 

Clearly in discomfort, Morgan’s eyes and face screwed up and she started to cry, weak, desperate wails that pulled at Tony’s heart. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby.” he rubbed her back soothingly. “I’ve got you. Dad- Daddy’s got you.” 

He looked at Helen. “Is this normal?” he asked her worriedly. 

“Yes, they’ve been keeping an eye on her. Her temperature is just high enough to cause discomfort, but not high enough to cause real concern. Doctors said to keep monitoring her to make sure it doesn’t get higher or other symptoms don’t develop. But for now she’s okay, just uncomfy and a tad fussy.” she informed him sympathetically. 

“Friday, keep an eye out?” Tony asked. 

“Of course, Sir. I’ve also taken the liberty of ordering supplies to ease her discomfort.” 

“You’re an angel, thank you Babygirl.” 

Being held and comforted and soothed seemed to help, and Morgan’s cries died down. 

“There, that’s much better, isn’t it?” He kissed her forehead. 

Finally her eyes opened, and Tony immediately began to coo. “There you are! Hi, Sweet Pea. I missed you so much, yes I did.” He held her up to his neck, nuzzling her. “Do you want to meet your Aunts and Uncles?” 

He turned and brought her over to the group. 

The Avengers were all beaming as he adjusted her so she faced her audience. 

“Everyone, this is Morgan.” he beamed. 

“Tony, she’s beautiful.” Steve stared. “Hi, Morgan.” he waved. 

“She’s adorable.” Bucky agreed. 

“I can’t believe I have a little niece!” Rhodey glowed. 

They all fawned over the baby, Tony preening proudly. 

“Can I hold her?” Natasha asked. 

“Of course! You want Auntie Nat cuddles, baby?” Tony handed her over carefully to the redhead. 

“She’s so sweet.” Nat’s voice was higher and softer than they’d ever heard it. 

After a few minutes of Nat holding her, Rhodey stepped forward. 

“Okay, Romanov, no hogging the baby snuggles. I never thought my brother would have a baby, so gimme.” the man made grabby hands, making Tony chuckle. 

“Oh, little one, you will be so spoiled and loved.” he breathed as Morgan was placed in his best friend’s arms. 

“Of course, and her Uncle Rhodey will be her favorite, yes he will!” he bounced her gently.

“How incorrect!” Thor interjected. “Uncle Thor will be the little one’s favorite! Who else can awe her with godlike powers?” he asked smugly. 

“Hey, hey, a Super Soldier can do just as many tricks.” Bucky protested. 

“I don’t wanna hear fighting. We all know her Daddy will be her favorite. The rest of you have to deal with the fact that she’s Daddy’s little girl.” Tony shut the fighting down, taking the baby back. 

“Fine, fine. But I’m SO the favorite Uncle.” Clint grumbled as the group walked away to continue their debate.

“She’s so tiny.” Steve whispered in awe once the others were out of hearing range, reaching out to stroke her cheek. He offered her his finger, and the baby’s tiny fist clutched on. “Tony, I can see why you love her so much.” 

Tony’s eyes didn’t leave the little girl as he made his decision. 

“I’m gonna be her dad.” 

“Tony?” Steve’s heart leapt with hope. 

The genius’ face lifted, his awe-struck, fear-filled eyes meeting Steve’s blue. 

“I’m going to be a father.” he breathed. “Shit, Steve. I’m a dad. Her dad.” he looked down at Morgan.

Seeing the man’s fear, Steve lay a kiss on Tony’s forehead. “You won’t be doing it alone, Sweetheart. We’re with you.” he reached to cradle Morgan’s head. “She needs you.” 

“I need her.” Tony replied simply. 

“You’re going to be an amazing father, I know you will. Congratulations.” 

“Thank you.” Tony beamed, feeling nothing but excitement and joy as Steve walked off. Clearly comfortable in her daddy’s arms, Morgan let out a big yawn, shifting slightly. 

“Uh oh, is someone tired?” Tony sang. He lifted her so she was against his chest, her face gently pressed to his shoulder, close to his neck. 

He couldn’t get enough of her sweet baby smell, and the closeness to him seemed to have the same effect; Morgan’s eyes soon drifted shut and her breathing slowed in sleep. Tony softly rocked her, relieved she seemed comfortable in sleep. 

“Friday?” he asked. 

“Her temperature and vitals are stable, Boss. Temperature is 100.3 degrees.” the AI assured him. 

“Thanks, girl.” he sighed, his heart heavy at the thought of his daughter- his daughter!- being sick. 

“If it eases your concern, Boss, most infants experience slight temperatures and discomfort if they are fighting ear infections or teething.” she offered. 

“Thanks, Fri. It does, actually.” 

“Also, Peter Parker is about to enter the premises.” 

“Really?” Tony excitedly looked over to the elevator.

A few moments later the teen arrived, an excited bounce in his step as he saw all the Avengers together. 

“Hey, Pete!” Tony greeted. 

“Hi, Mr. Stark!” he bounded over but froze when he saw the bundle the genius was holding. 

“Whose baby?” he cocked his head curiously. 

Tony awkwardly shifted on his feet, not sure what the boy’s response would be. “Well, uh, mine?” he answered, but it came out sounding more like a question than a statement. 

“What?” Peter’s eyes widened comically, and if Tony wasn’t actually nervous for his response he would’ve laughed. 

“Pete, I’d like you to meet Morgan. My daughter.” he grinned. 

“You have- but- I thought- is Ms. Potts-?” 

Now Tony chuckled. “Relax, kid. She’s not really mine. Well, she is, but-okay, she’s adopted.” 

“Adopted.” Peter repeated blankly. 

“Yes, I'm in the process of adopting her. Remember the baby I told you I found after the-?” 

“This is her?!” the teen gaped. “You’re adopting her? Like officially?” 

“Yeah, you have a little sister, kid.” 

Peter stared at the baby, completely enthralled. 

“She’s so cute!” he squealed, tickling her toes. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Tony asked softly. 

Peter looked at his father figure and saw the uncertainty in his face. He nodded. “Yes. Please.”

Tony transferred the still sleeping baby into the teenager’s arms. 

“Hi, Morgan.” he whispered. “I’m your big brother. Gosh, you’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I promise that I’ll always look after you and protect you. And embarrass you (like a big brother should). But can I let you in on a little secret? We’ve got the coolest Dad ever. You’re a lucky girl, Morgan.” 

When he looked up, he was surprised to see the genius’ eyes were misty. The father waved Steve over and gave the baby to him. 

Putting his arm around Pete, he led him as they walked. 

“Mr. Stark, I promise I’ll be the best big brother in the world.” he vowed. 

When Tony spoke his voice was hoarse. 

“I know you will, Kiddo. Thank you.”

“I’m happy for you, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony shook his head. “I really wish you wouldn’t be so formal. I’d think we would be past that.” 

“But Tony sounds so-” 

“Pete, you know I don’t mind if you call me Dad?” The genius said gently, reading the teen’s self-conscious body language. 

Peter’s eyes widened. “But-” 

“Pete, you’re how I know I might not totally fail at the parenting thing. I know I haven’t always been perfect, but...I love you, kid. And I’d be proud to call you mine.” 

Unable to form words, Peter just threw his arms around the man, hugging him tightly. 

“I love you, Dad.” he finally whispered, and Tony squeezed him tightly, his heart bursting. 

“I’m so proud of you.” the genius added. 

Tony made a show of kissing the teen's cheek (against Peter’s whine) and finally pulled away, ruffling his hair. “Now let’s rejoin the party, huh?” 

Peter nodded and the two returned to the group, not surprised to see them surrounding and fawning over the Avenger’s newest addition. 

When they saw Tony they all quietened. 

“So you're really sure?” Rhodey asked hopefully. “Are you going to adopt her?” 

Tony nodded. “Everyone, this is Morgan Stark.” 

Everyone erupted into cheers, but Tony only had eyes for the baby girl now snoozing in Steve’s arms. 

He felt overwhelmed by the warmth and love of being surrounded by his family. And suddenly he felt like, though it wouldn’t be easy, he could handle anything. 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Friends! Sorry this is a bit of a shorter chapter than usual! This was the best stopping point or else the next stopping point would take too long for me to type up to post tonight, and I don't know if I'll be able to update again this weekend!
> 
> Hope you guys are happy Tony is going through with the adoption and has sorted things out with Peter! More apologies and important talks are coming up (don't worry, the Avengers are not done apologizing/reconnecting with our main man Tony)
> 
> Regarding their words/treatment; I know I stated at the beginning that I lean Team Iron Man but can understand both sides. That being said, I can understand how the relationships seem toxic. My intent with this story was to make the healing slow and non-linear (cause in my personal experience this is the most believable and long-lasting form of healing). I know Tony has a brain full of self-esteem issues and guilt complexes/self-sacrificing tendencies for DAYS. He also doesn't speak his mind much and lets things fester until he doesn't want to bring it up, which can make things tough for the Avengers to actually understand. Rest assured I intend to end this story with happy heroes and non-toxic family dynamics. It will just take some time and lots of communication/hard work! 
> 
> As always- Thanks for those who are still reading! You guys have no idea how much I appreciate it and how much it means to me!   
> Stay safe and happy, friends! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Super excited and nervous to post my first work for this fandom!  
> I welcome any feedback/constructive criticism/interactions! 
> 
> I am a huge Tony Stark fan so this will be more geared towards Team Iron Man, but I also believe Steve wasn't fully in the wrong, so no Cap bashing. If Tony seems OOC a bit in this for a while, it's because I wanted to delve even more into his (mostly ignored) mental health issues and what may happen if it got to breaking point. Don't worry, we'll still have plenty of Tony swagger and sass! This is also just really a way to heal and find a way to give Tony a happy ending I think he deserves because Endgame destroyed me :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year! 
> 
> Stay Safe and Happy, friends!


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